Chapter : 1

Chapter 1

All skies and hell can't seem to forgive me. Not after this immoral dream of mine.

I never thought about him that way, at least not willingly. But now he is everywhere — in my dreams, in my head, and now in front of me.

“Bella, aren’t you going to say hi to him?” I heard my mom say. But how am I supposed to tell her that I can’t look at him without remembering the things I saw in my dreams?

How am I supposed to pretend things are normal when they’re not? He is my cousin. I’m not supposed to see him that way, but his eyes affect me, even though they’re pretty decent in their own way.

I tightened my hold on the hamper of gifts I was holding. But before I could say anything, he walked closer with a smile, and I held my breath like he would know if I let it out.

“Darla,” he whispered, looking at me. But little did he know what he was actually doing to me. Keeping myself steady, I gave him a small smile.

“Hey,” I whispered back, barely keeping eye contact. He was taller than before. His hair was messier than before. Indigo buttoned shirt tucked messily into faded black pants.

And the more I try to resist him, the more I’m failing.

“You seem confused, overwhelmed. All good?” he said, taking a few steps back.

Embarrassment rushed to my cheeks. I bit my lower lip and sucked in a little air to keep myself steady. Lowering my eyes, I turned around without saying anything.

I need to clear my head.

I left the living room without looking at him again. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but I can’t face him when my head is a mess.

He never came for my birthday for the last three years, and I thought maybe he was going to skip it again. But he did come. And I don’t know if I should be happy or sad or angry.

Why did he come after three years? He shouldn’t have. I walked upstairs with tears in my eyes. I thought it was nothing. I thought he was nothing — not anymore. But I was wrong.

He still affects me, which isn’t his fault, but my own.

I remember my sixteenth birthday, the one we celebrated together. But that night...

*Flashback — three years ago*

“Mom, have you seen Raden?” I asked the moment I came downstairs.

I was dressed in a delicate, off-white lace mini-dress with a sweetheart neckline that framed my shoulders like a whisper of elegance. It had fitted, long sleeves that flared gently at the cuffs, giving my arms a soft, romantic silhouette.

The lace fabric was intricately textured with floral patterns, making the entire gown feel like an embroidered veil of femininity.

A subtle ribbon tied at the back of the neck, adding a charming finishing touch. On my 16th birthday, the dress hugged my youthful figure, its lace shimmering like morning dew, turning the celebration into a scene of youthful grace and timeless charm.

But what truly made it special was the fact that he chose it for me. He himself chose it for me.

“Not really. Must be somewhere here. And you know he’s not the most important person tonight — you are. One more thing, please behave, Bella. No more mistakes tonight. All eyes will be on you,” my mother warned, soft but firm. An unsettling uneasiness hovered in her serious tone, which I decided to ignore.

No birthday wishes, nothing — just her warnings, like always. But what truly mattered was him. I needed to find him and show him the dress he had chosen for me.

And of course, again, he would be my dance partner tonight.

Since my fifth birthday, he and I had danced together on my birthday.

My grandma, Charlotte Miller, had always been very conscious of social elite representation and was an admirer of balls.

She told me that his choosing me wasn’t a coincidence. It was his choice. I was his choice.

Walking through the crowd of strangers, I tried to find the only person whom I could truly call my person, but he was nowhere to be found.

Answering every greeting and well-wish I got, I let my gaze roam around the entire hall. Everyone was there, but not the one I wanted to find.

The dance was about to start. I could see the people around me gathering in the middle of the hall with their partners, but I kept waiting for mine.

They wouldn’t start the dance without me. But then I saw my grandma standing across from me with a smile none could miss.

But there was something in her expression when her eyes stopped on me. I gave her a nervous, unsure smile.

Her eyes stared for a good couple of minutes before she whispered something to the head maiden, and then the head maiden walked toward me.

I gulped, not liking the vibe I was getting. The head maiden, Ms. Garrett, stopped in front of me with a neutral look on her face, and everyone in the hall started looking at us.

I hated being the center of attention, and right now I couldn’t help but become it.

“My lady, Mrs. Miller wants you to start the dance now,” she said, as always, polite and without emotion.

“But Raden is nowhere. Do you know where he is? Please call him if you do,” I said with the last bit of strength left in me.

“Mrs. Miller wants you to change your dance partner. Don’t forget you are sixteen now,” Ms. Garrett said as I heard new footsteps approaching us.

Now everyone’s attention was fixed on the newcomer at the party. But before I could see who it really was, Ms. Garrett continued, “Laren Bradley will be your dance partner from now on.”

I don’t know if I sighed or gasped for more air, but as her words processed in my head, I froze.

Finally, I saw the new person in the hall standing right beside Ms. Garrett. A tall young boy with dark olive eyes.

Looking at me with his perfect smile, he had the kind of face that could make me fall for him at first sight — but only if I were a normal 16-year-old girl.

But I was anything but normal.

I was a girl who had fallen for her own cousin long before, maybe from the age of five when I danced with him for the first time.

It was so unholy of me, but then, love is the purest of all.

I looked at the boy, then at my grandma, to check if it was any kind of prank or joke. But from her unwavering eyes, I knew it wasn’t.

I don’t know what came over me, but I just ran. I ran away from the strangers faking to know me and showering me with fake blessings.

I ran away from the boy who was about to become my new dance partner.

I ran away from the sudden change.

I ran away from shame — shame of hoping for impossible things.

Raden Rhodes Hemsley was not there. He was nowhere.

And at last, I realized that things would never be the same again after this night, because he left me, right on my birthday.

Because I left myself right on my birthday.

I made a spectacle of myself right in front of so many people, right in front of my mother who had already warned me — maybe because she knew about his absence.

Everyone knew it except me.

I stopped near the backyard of Miller Mansion, right near the garden where we both planted my favorite lilies together.

I knew what changing dance partners at the age of sixteen meant.

It meant replacing the first one with the long-lasting one.

My own grandmother, after knowing my true feelings, changed the dance partner?

This was a custom in our family: we dance only with the person who is going to be our life partner on our sixteenth birthday.

And it was so foolish of me to think that they would let me dance with him, and that he would willingly dance with me in his full senses.

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Stay tuned to know more. And they aren't blood related. Means Bella and Raden aren't blood related.

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