Why Not Me?

I woke up as the morning sunshine came though the window illuminating my room. My eyes fluttered open and I sat up on my bed. I glanced at the clock while scratching my head," 6 am?" I stood up, yawning.

For the first time I woke up early. I did my usual routine morning routine and got ready to go. I stepped outside locking the door behind me. The wind was blowing gently, it was less crowded than usual perhaps because I am early today, but still everything felt the same. I stopped on my tracks as a thought hit me," It's the last year? After that I don't be able to see you again..." I sighed to myself, well it was obvious from the beginning.

I started walking again slowly. As I reached near the school, I saw quite a few of my classmates walking together among them were you, laughing brightly. I just wanted to stop and stare at you looking so happy.

After reaching the classroom, I sat at the corner like usual, my hand on my cheek.My eyes lazily wandering around as I spotted you in the front talking to your friend.... A weird feeling hit me this time" Why not me?" You talk with everyone... Smile at everyone... Then why not me? I want to be close to you yet ... I don't have the courage.... Perhaps it's better this way.

I looked at the ceiling blankly, obviously you are the star, always bright with everyone and excellent in everything, meanwhile what am I? I am too introverted and ordinary to be noticed by you, I know it will never be me... Yet I couldn't help but think why not me?

The classes started again, my focus drifting away... The question why not me lingering in my mind. I wonder how it could be like if I was close to you too. As smile touched my lips at the thought of you smiling at me...

but it faded away as soon as it appeared. Well obviously it couldn't be true. So it is pointless. Aghhhhhhhhhh, Focus on the class. Yes, don't think about this... I glanced at you again like always you were focusing on the class not like a certain someone who was lost daydreaming, I am roasting myself at this point 😭 Ahem....

It all went normally, like always the class was in chaos at the end of the day. I couldn't help but glance at you, still smiling brilliantly with others. I looked away, not wanting to be noticed. I remained myself while packing my things Some feelings are better unsaid... Yes, now let's getting going. I slung my bag over my shoulder ready to step out of the classroom then suddenly someone called out my name, I turned to see who is it. Just hoping this day couldn't turn weird....

To be continued if I am not lazy but anyways surely no one will read it so whatever~ I feel more lazy now.

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