Chapter II — Chef Saullo

"In the midst of sorrow, there will always be a light in the darkness"

My name's Saullo Dantas. I'm thirty, six foot one. I'm not one of those guys obsessed with having a perfect ripped body, but I like to stay in shape. When I was locked up, working out in the yard was the only thing that kept me sane. Yeah, you heard right — I'm an ex-con. Did three years. Been out for two months.

I didn't kill anyone or rob anyone, but I was convicted of drug trafficking. It's a long story I need to sort out before I can move on with my life. I'm a trained chef — got my certification with my ex-boyfriend in France. Had plans to open my own restaurant, but everything came to a halt when I got locked up.

Everything I'd managed to save, I handed over to my sister and my brother-in-law Pedro — also a cook — to invest in his restaurant. My sister's the one on the books as partner, and that's how it's going to stay. I don't plan on changing anything.

Readjusting to life on the outside has been rough. I barely leave my small apartment. Didn't want to crash at my sister's place. I live near the restaurant and walk there.

I'm grateful Pedro takes care of Sara. We have living parents, but our relationship with them is complicated. Ever since I came out to my family, I lost both my mother and my father at the same time.

I can still hear her words ringing in my ears.

"I don't have a gay son!" my father screamed, over and over.

Every time I remember those words, I feel a deep rage toward my mother — the woman who was supposed to defend me but chose to stand by my father. I left home at fifteen and never went back.

I worked and studied thanks to the kindness of others. During all that, I met Fabio, an older guy I thought was the love of my life. We made a thousand plans together. But when I got arrested, reality was cruel — Fabio visited a few times, and once I was sentenced, he vanished from my life completely.

My life changed forever. Now I prefer to stay isolated — just my apartment and the restaurant.

The past few days had been nonstop work, and Pedro kept insisting I go out with them to a fancy club downtown. All I could do was pick out something basic to wear and meet them there. Sara greeted me with a hug at the entrance.

"I thought you weren't coming!" she said, pulling me close.

"I'm seriously thinking about bailing."

She made a face at me and grabbed my hand to pull me inside. The place was packed. My brother-in-law took one look around and just shook his head. We barely managed to get in. Honestly, all I wanted was to run back to my bed. I stood there taking in the scene until suddenly my eyes landed on a man who grabbed my attention.

He was very charming — maybe a little shorter than me, hard to tell. He was far away and the place was pretty dark.

He looked at me too, and without thinking, I cracked a quick smile. It's been over three years since I've had real sex. I never hooked up with anyone while I was inside. Plenty of guys wanted to, but I didn't trust a single one of them. I even had to deal with a piece-of-shit guard who kept harassing me in the showers, trying to get me to be with him. That son of a bitch humiliated me for years.

Then I noticed the guy surrounded by people with a beautiful woman at his side. I figured I'd read things wrong and quickly looked away. I don't want anything serious — my past still isn't settled.

We kept walking around looking for an empty table. The women were eyeing me up — I've been with a few, but I prefer men.

We finally found a table. My brother-in-law went to get drinks and we enjoyed the night — drank, danced.

I stayed until I hit my limit. I was exhausted, but Sara got it in her head that some women were staring at me and wanted me to go talk to them. I wasn't feeling it. I'll admit, the stares still feel strange — but it's always been like that. Whether I want to or not, I've always drawn attention. I looked around for the guy I'd noticed when we arrived, but he was nowhere to be seen. I left the club pissed off by Sara's nagging, and we ended up arguing in the parking lot. I left her with Pedro, grabbed an Uber, and went home.

Sara Dantas, twenty-eight, five foot three. Lawyer. Saullo's sister.

My sister feels obligated to fix my life and ends up crossing the line. Sometimes I think she carries guilt for everything I went through, but I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing.

I got home, took a shower, and collapsed on the bed.

I woke up still groggy to someone pounding on my door.

"Where's the fire?" I asked when I opened up.

Sara threw herself on me, crying.

"What happened, sis?" I was worried.

"I'm sorry, bro. I know I've been on your case too much!"

We hugged and cried together.

"Okay, stop crying now. I can't stand seeing you cry."

"I want... I want to be strong through all this, but I can't! I keep remembering that it's my fault — the life you lived and are still living!"

"Don't say that anymore."

"You lost three years of your life, brother!"

I took her by the arm and led her to the couch. I sat across from her.

"We've been over this, Sara."

She looked at me, and I could tell there was something else behind those tears.

"What's really going on?"

I don't like beating around the bush. I like things straight — black and white.

"Mom wants to talk to you, Saullo."

I shot up from the couch.

"When did you see her?"

"She came to the restaurant on Friday. She said she'd like to talk to you. She's really sorry for what she did, Saullo."

"Did you tell her anything about my time inside?"

"No, brother, I didn't tell her anything! Even though I disagree, I did what you asked."

"Keep the promise you made me, Sara. Never tell anyone the truth."

"Brother, please—"

I wiped the tears rolling down my sister's beautiful face.

We sat there for a long time, holding each other and crying, until she pulled herself together.

"Okay, I didn't just come here for that."

I smiled. I know my sister well.

"Just tell me what you want, Sara."

"I want my favorite brother to come with me to an event!"

"And your fiance?"

"My dear fiance is working and can't come with me."

I thought about turning her down, but she made that face she's been making since she was a little kid.

"Fine. What am I supposed to wear to this thing?"

"Something dressy — I know you've got the clothes."

I hadn't noticed, but she was already dressed for the event.

I left her alone in the living room and went to shower. Quick bath, then I picked out something that would work for the event and still feel comfortable.

From the look on her face when I came back, I could tell she approved.

"Oh my God, who are you? What have you done with my brother?" she teased.

We left my apartment together. I locked the door and we headed off in her car.

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