It's His (Secret) Life

“Seunghyub?”

His father stepped out of his room after hearing something crash and roll across the floor.

“Ah, Pa… sorry. I couldn’t see properly.”

The lights were still off. Seunghyub had bumped into the console table while searching for the switch.

“Are you drunk?”

His father’s tone turned sharp as he helped him up. The smell of alcohol was unmistakable.

“Sorry, Pa… it’s my first and last time, I promise.”

“Your mother died from cancer. You carry the gene. Your chances are higher than normal people. Even I don’t drink—how dare you?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t disappoint me. Or do you want to live alone without me?”

“I’m sorry…”

“I already lost the love of my life. Don’t make me lose the last piece of her too.”

******

From that day on, Seunghyub and Haein grew even closer.

The awkwardness between them disappeared completely.

They started holding hands when walking side by side, going home together, waiting for each other after classes.

But that same time… Gyuyoung and Jay fell apart.

"Jay ya!".

“We already break up. Stop chasing me.”

“Ya! What’s wrong with you?” Gyuyoung snapped, grabbing his arm.

“Noona, you should ask yourself. I know I’m younger. I know I like you more than you like me. But I can’t stay in this kind of relationship anymore. It feels like you’re looking down on me.”

“When did I ever?”

“What if I started chasing another girl?”

“I never even thought of dating him! You know he doesn’t like me. I just—”

“Wanted to kiss him? Sleep with him?”

Jay’s voice turned cold.

“You dated me to sleep with me too! What’s the difference?!”

“At least I did it with someone I was dating—not with someone else! Go f*** yourself. I’m done.”

Jay turned his back and walked away without hesitation.

“FINE! THEN DON’T EVER COME BACK!”

And just like that… it ended.

For the first time in forever...

Gyuyoung was crying.

******

“Annyeong~!”

Haein walked in with a bright smile, Seunghyub following behind her.

“Well, looks like the new couple should pay tonight,” Youngkwang teased.

“No worries! This unnie will pay!” Haein said cheerfully.

In the corner, Gyuyoung sat quietly, sipping soju through a straw.

“Where’s Jay?” Seunghyub asked.

“What? You want to brag about your relationship?” she shot back coldly.

“They broke up,” Kara explained.

“Ah really?!” Jaehyun reacted.

“Shut up.” Gyuyoung smacked his head.

“Because Jay saw her touching Seunghyub,” Youngkwang added.

“She did? Me?? When?” Seunghyub frowned.

“I saw it too,” Haein added, pouting slightly.

“Ah, shut up!” Gyuyoung groaned.

“Nuna, date me instead,” Jaehyun said shyly.

“What do you even have to offer?”

“My love.”

Everyone burst out laughing.

......

The night was quieter than usual.

No wild chaos—just lingering sadness.

The girls tried to cheer Gyuyoung up.

The boys stayed glued to their games.

They went home earlier than usual.

Haein tried to pay, but Seunghyub stopped her and paid instead.

She insisted on going home with him.

Like always, she hugged him before parting.

******

Chat Room

Mom: The shrimp at the store didn’t look fresh. Do you want abalone instead?

Eunsol: Okay… maybe I need something soft and a bit sweet. I think I can eat that.

Mom: Alright. I’ll look for something good.

Eunsol: Thank you, Mom…

For almost a month, Eunsol had completely lost her appetite.

It wasn’t just that she didn’t feel like eating—every time food touched her tongue, her body rejected it. The smell alone made her nauseous. Even the thought of swallowing something felt like a burden. Her stomach would twist painfully, like something inside her was constantly tightening.

Mealtimes had become the most difficult part of the day.

Her mother tried everything.

Different recipes. Different textures. Different flavors.

Soft porridge, warm soup, sweet desserts—anything that might make it easier for her to eat.

But nothing worked.

Each time Eunsol pushed the food away, her mother’s anxiety grew a little more.

That afternoon, after buying fresh abalone to make porridge, her mother stopped by a mall to find something sweet—maybe something light that could tempt Eunsol’s appetite.

She walked from store to store, scanning menus, hesitating, thinking.

Then—

She froze.

There was someone familiar standing in line at an ice cream shop.

Her eyes widened slightly.

“…Seunghyub?”

She stepped a little closer, just enough to be sure.

Yes—it was him.

The staff called his name, and he stepped forward to take his order. For a brief second, her heart lifted. She even thought about walking up to him—maybe asking for help with the groceries, maybe just greeting him after so long.

But before she could move—

“Ya! Why did you lick it first? I wanted to take a picture!”

A girl approached him from nearby, clearly annoyed.

Seunghyub laughed lightly. “Sorry, sorry. It was about to drip.”

The girl—Haein—rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.

“Fine. I’ll just caption it ‘someone stole my ice cream.’”

She took a quick picture, then licked it herself.

They stood close.

Too close.

Their arms linked naturally as if it was the most normal thing in the world. They walked away together, laughing, blending into the crowd like any other happy couple.

Eunsol’s mother didn’t move.

Her eyes followed them until they disappeared.

All she could think about was her daughter.

Eunsol’s pale face.

Eunsol’s weak smile.

The countless drawings of that same boy.

She couldn’t even remember the last time Seunghyub visited.

At first, a wave of anger rose in her chest.

Then sadness.

But it quickly faded into something quieter.

Resignation.

It’s his life, she thought.

I have no right to feel this way.

But when she imagined her daughter lying in bed, waiting, hoping…

Her vision blurred.

Tears fell silently as she stood there, surrounded by strangers.

Back home, she cooked the abalone porridge carefully.

Every step was done with hope—hope that this time, Eunsol would be able to eat. That something, anything, would stay in her body.

Because the numbers didn’t lie.

Eunsol had lost five kilograms.

She was already thin to begin with.

Now, she looked fragile.

Too fragile.

“Eok… eok…”

Eunsol tried.

She really did.

She forced herself to take another bite, but her body reacted immediately.

“Again? Is it not good?” her mother asked, trying to stay calm.

“I’m sorry, Mom… I don’t know why my stomach hurts again…”

Her voice was small. Apologetic.

Like she had done something wrong.

At the hospital—

“The blood results are normal,” the doctor said calmly.

“But she needs to be hospitalized. She’s malnourished.”

Just like that, another hospital stay began.

Eunsol didn’t protest.

She simply nodded.

She was used to it.

Hospitals, IV drips, quiet rooms—it had all become part of her life.

Her mother packed her things carefully—clothes, essentials… and most importantly, her drawing tools.

Inside the hospital room, Eunsol glanced at her phone.

Another weekend.

Another silence.

Another promise that was never fulfilled.

She stared at the screen for a long time.

Typing.

Deleting.

Typing again.

“Should I tell him… I’m hospitalized again?”

She whispered it under her breath.

But in the end—

She said nothing.

As soon as her mother returned, Eunsol immediately took out her sketchbook and pencils.

Drawing had become her escape.

Her comfort.

Her way of holding onto something she couldn’t reach.

While her mother arranged their belongings, she noticed something.

Every page.

The same face.

Again and again.

Seunghyub.

Drawn from memory.

Because that was all she had.

He had no social media.

No photos together.

No messages to look back on.

Only memories—

And her drawings.

“When was your last period?” her mother asked casually, still organizing things.

“I feel like I haven’t bought pads for you in a while.”

“…I don’t remember either,” Eunsol replied absentmindedly, still staring at her sketch.

“You didn’t tell him you’re hospitalized again?” her mother asked, glancing at the drawings.

“Not yet… He might be busy with campus. I don’t want to bother him.”

Her tone was light.

But her mother knew better.

She was holding back.

“Can’t you draw something else?” her mother said gently, sitting beside her.

Eunsol brightened a little.

“I did! Look—I drew you and Dad!”

She flipped the page proudly.

“It looks like you, right?”

Her mother leaned closer.

“Wow… you even drew my wrinkles so clearly.”

“Hahaha! Then buy better moisturizer! I’m just a natural artist.”

Eunsol laughed, clearly pleased.

“I can draw cats and birds too. Look!”

For a moment—

It felt normal.

A few days later, the doctor spoke to her mother privately.

“Has anything been bothering her lately?”

“I don’t think so… She seems fine. She doesn’t complain,” her mother answered, trying to recall.

“I’d like to schedule a consultation with a psychiatrist.”

“A psychiatrist?” Her mother frowned, confused. “She’s not… like that.”

The doctor nodded calmly.

“Depression doesn’t always look obvious—especially in patients with chronic or life-threatening conditions.”

He continued,

“Loss of appetite, hormonal imbalance, mood changes, excessive stomach acid, even abdominal pain… these can all be related.”

“I’m not making a diagnosis yet. This is just a recommendation.”

Her mother fell silent.

Then slowly nodded.

******

“Hello, Kim Eunsol. My name is Kang Saera. I’ll be your psychiatrist.”

The tall doctor greeted her with a gentle smile as she entered the unfamiliar room.

Psychiatrist…? Eunsol thought.

“Oh… hello, doctor.”

She felt awkward.

Even more so when her mother left the room.

“Don’t worry,” Dr. Kang said softly, taking a seat across from her.

“Today, we’re just going to talk. Nothing complicated.”

Eunsol hesitated, then nodded.

“We can start with something simple,” the doctor continued.

“Tell me about yourself.”

Eunsol looked down at her hands.

Then, slowly—

She began.

******

It was Monday morning.

Eunsol was still in the hospital—she had been there for a week now.

But things were finally getting better.

Meeting the psychiatrist turned out to be a good decision. Slowly, little by little, Eunsol began to change. Her appetite started to return. She could finally eat properly without feeling like her body was rejecting everything.

Even more than that—

She started drawing again.

Not just a little, but a lot.

She filled pages after pages, asking for more sketchbooks as if she couldn’t stop. It was the most alive she had felt in a while.

Seeing that, her parents finally felt a bit relieved.

That day was Mom and Dad’s anniversary.

Since Eunsol’s condition had improved, her father decided to take a day off. He gently suggested that they take a short break—just for a few hours—before returning to the hospital.

They went out together to buy food and new sketchbooks for Eunsol.

And while they were already outside… they decided to watch a movie.

Just this once.

Mom was sitting on a bench near the cinema hall, waiting quietly.

Dad had gone to buy drinks and popcorn.

People passed by in groups—laughing, chatting, living their normal lives.

It felt… distant.

“Mom! I think I saw Seunghyub!”

Dad returned, slightly out of breath, holding two cups of cola and a large bucket of popcorn.

“With a girl?” Mom asked immediately, her eyes lifting.

Dad paused.

“Ah… you already know? You met him?”

His excitement faded a little as he sat down beside her.

“I saw him about a week ago,” Mom said softly. “He seemed to have a girlfriend.”

Her voice grew quieter.

Her mind drifted back—to that moment at the mall… to the way they laughed together.

And to this morning—

When Eunsol was still drawing that same boy, over and over again.

“I thought… he was dating our daughter,” Dad said, his tone now heavy.

“Does Eunsol know?”

“I don’t think so,” Mom shook her head slowly. “Don’t tell her yet.”

She paused.

“I want to talk to him first. It’s better if he ends things clearly and honestly with Eunsol… rather than her finding out from us.”

Dad nodded.

“…That explains why he stopped coming.”

......

The movie was about to start.

But instead of following Dad inside, Mom stood up.

“I’m going to the restroom for a bit.”

But that wasn’t where she went.

Her steps moved in another direction.

She didn’t even fully realize it herself—but she was searching.

For him.

Her heart started beating faster as she walked through the corridor.

She didn’t know what she would say if she found him.

She didn’t even know if she should.

But she kept walking anyway.

And then—

She saw them.

In the lobby.

Sitting together on a bench, waiting for their movie to start.

Mom stopped in her tracks.

Her hands trembled slightly.

That was him.

Seunghyub.

And beside him—

The girl.

The same girl.

She looked younger. Bright. Cheerful.

She kept calling him “Oppa” in a soft, spoiled tone, leaning against him naturally.

Too naturally.

Mom hesitated.

She wanted to approach him.

To call his name.

But at the same time—

She was afraid.

Afraid of making things uncomfortable.

Afraid of hearing something she wasn’t ready for.

So she stayed where she was.

Watching.

The girl leaned her head against Seunghyub’s shoulder.

And then—

Mom saw it.

Seunghyub gently lowered his head… and kissed the top of her hair.

It was a simple gesture.

But it was intimate.

Natural.

Familiar.

The girl lifted her head immediately after, pouting slightly.

“Oppa, give me a kiss here instead.”

She pointed at her lips.

Seunghyub laughed softly.

Then leaned in and gave her a quick peck.

“It’s embarrassing. There are a lot of people here,” he said.

Mom heard it clearly.

Every word.

“Oppa, let’s try that photobox!”

The girl suddenly pointed excitedly at a photobox nearby and grabbed his hand.

She practically dragged him there.

Seunghyub didn’t resist.

They stood inside together, laughing, adjusting poses, pressing the button again and again.

From afar, they looked like any normal couple.

Happy.

Carefree.

But when they finished—

Nothing came out.

“No way… what? Is it broken?” the girl complained, frowning.

She looked genuinely upset.

“I’m going to complain to customer service—”

Before she could leave, Seunghyub grabbed her wrist gently.

“Let’s just try another photobox next time,” he said calmly.

“Our movie is about to start. Come on.”

“But—” she hesitated, still looking disappointed.

“We’ll go to a better one next time,” he repeated, tightening his hold on her hand slightly.

His tone was firm, but soft.

Reassuring.

Slowly, she gave in.

“…Okay.”

He guided her away, leading her toward the theater.

Their hands still linked.

Their figures slowly disappearing into the crowd.

Mom stood there.

Still.

Silent.

Watching them until they were completely gone.

Her chest felt tight.

Not from anger.

Not even from disappointment.

But from something deeper—

Worry.

For her daughter.

******

“Where is Gyuyoung? She hasn’t been here again. Seriously, where is she?”

Youngkwang looked around at everyone, his brows furrowed. It had been weeks since anyone had properly seen her.

“I can’t even contact her lately,” Kara added, checking her phone again as if hoping a reply would suddenly appear.

Youngkwang pointed lazily toward his sister and her boyfriend. “It’s because of you two, I think.”

“No, it’s not,” Seunghyub replied calmly. “I saw her in class this morning.”

Everyone turned toward him.

“But… yeah,” he continued, thinking for a moment. “She seemed different. She just slept through class and left right after. But academically, she’s actually doing better lately.”

“Exactly,” Haein added. “She hasn’t been bothering us anymore. Maybe another blind date didn’t go well.”

“...Hmm…” Jaehyun scratched the back of his neck, clearly hesitating. “Should I say it?”

“Hey!” Hun smacked his arm. “Jay told us to keep our mouths shut.”

“Yaa~ once words come out, you can’t take them back!” Youngkwang lunged toward Jaehyun dramatically. “Spill it!”

“Okay, okay!” Jaehyun raised his hands defensively. “But promise me—this stays between us.”

Everyone leaned in closer.

Jaehyun took a deep breath before explaining everything—how Jay had been drunk, how upset he was, how deeply his pride had been hurt.

“He wasn’t even sure about everything,” Jaehyun said. “But… he thinks he heard noona crying when she walked away.”

“GYUYOUNG? Crying??” Youngkwang clapped loudly. “Wow, Jay…”

“At that time, Jay was really conflicted,” Jaehyun continued. “He wanted to run after her, but… his hurt pride just froze him in place.”

Hun stepped in to add more. “Honestly, their relationship was always… unclear. They never even said ‘let’s date’ or anything official. But they kissed, they slept together… so for Jay, it still meant something serious.”

Everyone grew quieter.

“And then seeing her trying to seduce Seunghyub hyung?” Hun continued. “That messed him up even more. He started thinking… what if she could be with other guys too without him knowing?”

“That’s what really bothered him,” Jaehyun added. “Even saying ‘let’s break up’ felt wrong to him, because technically… they were never official.”

“But still,” Youngkwang shrugged, “he should’ve known what kind of person Gyuyoung is from the beginning.”

“Yeah,” he added with a small smirk. “I even thought he liked her because of that image.”

Jaehyun lowered his voice dramatically. “Don’t tell anyone… but Jay was her first.”

Everyone’s eyes widened instantly.

“Seriously??” Youngkwang gasped.

“She always had that sexy image,” Jaehyun explained, “but she never actually slept with anyone before. Not even her ex. If anyone said she did, it was a lie.”

“So Jay broke that wall for her,” Hun added quietly. “And he feels responsible for it too. He thought maybe… because of that, she started going overboard.”

“Like she finally felt free to do anything,” Jaehyun finished.

Silence fell for a moment.

“Then he’s the bad one!” Kara suddenly protested. “He got her first, then left her like that—and even made her cry!”

“But she tried to seduce another guy,” Youngkwang countered.

“…Okay, fair,” Kara sighed.

......

Haein stayed quiet, her thoughts drifting. She couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Gyuyoung. After all… she was the first one who liked Seunghyub.

Her gaze slowly shifted toward him.

Even though he rejected Gyuyoung, Haein couldn’t stop thinking about everything. According to “girl code”… she shouldn’t have gotten close to him.

But she couldn’t help it.

He was the one who stayed. The one who responded to her, cared for her, noticed her.

That night, her thoughts refused to settle.

Even after she sent messages to Gyuyoung—messages that never got delivered.

Her phone stayed silent.

“Stop it.”

Seunghyub’s voice cut through her thoughts.

“You’ve almost finished three bottles by yourself. That’s enough. Drink slowly.”

“Take her home,” Youngkwang said, tossing his car keys to Seunghyub. “I’m staying at Kara’s place tonight. My house is empty—my parents are abroad. Just make sure she’s safe.”

Seunghyub nodded. “Okay.”

“I can walk on my own,” Haein protested lightly, though she immediately linked her arm with his anyway.

Seunghyub drove them home like usual. When they arrived, he tried to wake her—

—but she didn’t move.

Sighing, he carefully lifted her onto his back and carried her upstairs, placing her gently on her bed.

As he turned to leave—

Their eyes met.

She burst out laughing.

“Hahahaha~ I wasn’t asleep at all!”

“Yaa~” Seunghyub chuckled, pinching her cheek lightly. “Bad girl.”

“Don’t go,” she said, wrapping her arms around him.

“Oppa, don’t you want to drink something?”

“Why? Still craving more?” he teased.

“Hm…” she nodded softly, then sat in front of him, looking straight into his eyes.

“Should we do round two? Watch a movie? Or just stay here? It’s only 10 PM.”

“Let’s just stay here,” he agreed. “What do you want to do?”

“I’ll grab snacks!”

She ran downstairs, leaving him alone.

Seunghyub looked around her room while waiting—her childhood photos, certificates, awards. Ballet pictures, speech competitions…

He smiled to himself, quietly proud.

When she returned with her arms full, he quickly stood to help her.

“You brought a lot.”

“Hehehe… so you can’t leave before we finish everything.”

“You did ballet?” he asked, pointing at one of the photos.

“Yeah. But I stopped after I injured my ankle.”

She showed him the faint scar.

“What?” His expression softened as he gently touched it.

“It’s okay now,” she smiled. “At least I got this pretty neck and shoulders from it.”

“Still… those pictures are really beautiful,” he said sincerely.

Her cheeks flushed slightly. “Want to see my performance videos?”

“Of course.”

They spent the night watching them, laughing, talking, sharing quiet moments.

“You make the stage look prettier,” he said softly.

Haein smiled, leaning closer.

“Oppa…”

“Hm?”

“We never really said it, right? ‘Let’s date’… or anything like that.”

He paused.

“Sometimes I wanted to say it first,” she continued. “But… I wanted to hear it from you.”

“Haein-ah…”

“Do you know what day it is today?”

He hesitated.

“…I’m not good with dates.”

She showed him her calendar. 'First Kiss'

“Two months ago.”

His eyes widened slightly.

“So… today marks two months?”

She nodded.

“Oppa… thank you for choosing me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They leaned closer, their foreheads brushing before their lips met again—slow, gentle at first, then deeper.

The room grew quieter.

Warmer.

More intimate.

…

The next morning—

Youngkwang walked past her room and froze.

“…Wow. Haein… you’ve really grown up.”

He quickly walked away, pretending he heard nothing.

Inside the room, sunlight slipped through the curtains.

Haein stirred first, still wrapped in Seunghyub’s arms.

She smiled softly, remembering everything from the night before.

Leaning in, she kissed him lightly.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

He finally moved—stretching, half-awake—

—and accidentally hit her.

“Ack!”

“Woah!” He blinked, startled, before everything came rushing back. “Oh—sorry…”

“Good morning, oppa,” she smiled.

“Morning…”

They lay there, scrolling through their phones side by side.

“Oh! Add it to your calendar,” she said suddenly.

“What?”

“Our anniversary. August 15th.”

He nodded, opening his phone—

—and froze.

A reminder popped up.

Eunsol’s Birthday. October 16th (Today).

“Oh.”

“Why?” she asked, trying to peek.

“Nothing… it’s just October already.”

She didn’t push further. But, she saw it. 'Eunsol's Birthday'

"Who is she?"

"My Old friend.".

“Then add mine too!”

“Oh right! When is it?”

“December 14, 1995.”

“And yours?” she asked.

“October 31, 1992.”

She smiled softly, memorizing it.

Then leaned in again.

But he was about to leave.

“It’s still early…” she whispered.

He laughed, gently pushing her away.

“School first.”

“2 PM class!” she argued. “We still have time.”

“…You’re dangerous.”

“I know,” she grinned. "Please, just once again.".

"15 minutes?".

"Yes it's enough!".

Outside the room—

Youngkwang shook his head as he grabbed his bag.

“Seriously…” he muttered. “I heard something I shouldn’t have.”

And left the house.

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