The weight of a favor

​The morning air in Buea was not bright. It was a dull, milky white because of the heavy mist from the mountain. I woke up to the sound of a neighbor's radio and the smell of woodsmoke. For a second, I forgot about the night before. I reached for my phone, but then I saw it.

​Leaning against my old wooden desk was the yellow umbrella.

​It was too bright for my small, grey room. It was like a loud shout in a quiet place. Every time I looked at it, I saw Conrad's face. I remembered how he smiled even though his white shirt was ruined by the mud. I looked at my transit card on the table. It still had a small mark of red mud on it-a mark from when he saved it for me.

​To most people, an umbrella is just an object. To me, it felt like a heavy weight. I did not like owing people favors. In my life, a favor was usually a trap. I had spent three years staying away from everyone to keep myself safe.

​"Moon! You are going to be late!" my aunt shouted from the kitchen.

​"I'm coming, Ma!" I replied.

​I dressed quickly in a black hoodie and jeans. I wanted to be invisible. I wanted to be a ghost again. But I could not leave the umbrella behind. I grabbed it and walked out into the misty streets.

​The walk to the provision store was long. The red mud was drying under the sun. I kept the yellow umbrella hidden at my side. I felt like I was carrying a secret.

​At the store, I spent the morning stacking tins of milk and weighing rice. I was in a daze. Every time the bell above the door rang, I looked up quickly. My heart would beat fast for a second. I told myself I was just angry. I told myself I just wanted to give the umbrella back.

​He won't come, I thought. He is a University student. He is busy.

​But at noon, the sun came out. I was cleaning the counter when I saw a group of students across the street. They were laughing and talking about their classes. In the middle of them, I saw a green polo shirt.

​It was him.

​Conrad looked different in the daylight. His skin was the color of dark coffee, and he looked very calm. He looked like he belonged to the world. I felt like I was just watching from behind a window.

​I grabbed the umbrella and stepped outside. The hot, humid air hit my face.

​"Conrad!" I called out.

​The group stopped. Conrad turned around. When he saw me holding the bright yellow umbrella, his face lit up. He smiled a real smile-the kind that makes you feel like everything is okay. He said something to his friends and ran over to me.

​"Moon!" he said, stopping in front of me. "I thought maybe you moved away to keep my umbrella forever."

​"I don't keep things that aren't mine," I said. I was trying to sound cold. I pushed the umbrella toward him. "Here. Take it. Your shirt was ruined because of me, so now we are even."

​Conrad did not take it. He leaned against the door of the shop. "Even? Moon, a shirt is just a shirt. I would jump in the mud again to help you."

​"I don't do favors," I whispered. I felt my hands shaking. "I don't want to owe you anything."

​Conrad became quiet. The look in his eyes changed. He stepped a little closer. He smelled like fresh soap and mint.

​"Is that what this is? A debt?" he asked softly. "In Buea, when it rains, we share. It is not a business deal, Moon. It is just being kind. You don't owe me anything."

​I looked down at my shoes. "You don't understand. For me, kindness is a trap."

​Conrad did not move away. "Then let me prove you wrong. No traps. Just tea."

​I looked up, surprised. "What?"

​"The café around the corner has great ginger tea," he said with a small smile. "Come with me when you finish work. No umbrellas, no favors. Just two people talking."

​I looked at the umbrella, then at him. The "weight" of the favor felt different now. It was not a heavy chain anymore. It felt like a door was slowly opening.

​"I work until five," I said quietly.

​"I have a big textbook to read," Conrad replied. He sat down on the wooden bench outside the shop. "I can wait."

​He opened his book and started reading. He stayed right there where I could see him. As I walked back inside, I felt a strange spark of curiosity. For the first time in a long time, I didn't want to run away.

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