What I Can Never Have

My name is Lutero Russo de Marino. I'm twenty-nine. I'm Paolo Salvatore's right-hand man, the Don of the Famiglia Ombra Rossa.

Loyalty isn't a choice for me. It's who I am.

I was born into this world, raised watching blood paid with blood and respect earned through silence and obedience. My father, Otavio Russo de Marino, was the consigliere to the former Don, Ricardo Salvatore. An honorable man inside a corrupted universe.

He died when I was thirteen.

Died protecting the Don.

That day, I lost a father... but gained a destiny.

The Salvatore family took me in. Not out of obligation — though it was that too — but out of respect for the man my father had been. I moved into the annex of the mansion, training, learning, becoming what they expected of me.

A weapon.

A shadow.

A man who doesn't hesitate.

Paolo was sixteen at the time. Pietro, twelve. And Luna...

Luna was only eight.

I still remember her running through the gardens, in a light dress with her hair loose in the wind. Laughing at anything, as if the world were weightless.

She was always different.

Delicate.

Joyful.

Kind.

And that was where it all began.

A feeling I ignored at first. A passing infatuation, I told myself. The whim of a boy trying to find something good amid the violence.

But time passed.

And it didn't pass.

It grew.

Took root.

Became impossible to ignore.

When Luna turned fifteen, I was already twenty. Already working directly with Paolo. Already understood the weight of what it meant to be who I was.

That was when she came to me.

Determined.

Brave.

With her eyes shining with something I knew all too well.

"I like you."

Simple.

Direct.

True.

That was the hardest day of my life.

Because everything in me wanted to say yes.

Wanted to pull her close, hold her, confess that the feeling wasn't hers alone. That I felt it too. That I'd always felt it.

But I couldn't.

She was the Don's sister.

And I... I was his man.

"You're a child, Luna," I said.

Each word was a knife.

"You don't know what you're feeling."

A lie.

She knew.

And so did I.

"And even if you did... I'd never betray your brother's trust."

That destroyed her.

And destroyed me with it.

After that day, she never looked at me the same way again.

I saw it.

The pain.

The hurt.

The light dimming bit by bit.

And still... I held firm.

Because it was the right thing.

She changed.

Became rebellious. Started ditching her bodyguards, going to places she never would have set foot in before. Always trying to prove something. Always trying to... get attention.

Mine.

And I kept my distance.

Until the day everything spiraled out of control.

The kidnapping.

I'll never forget that day.

Paolo was on the verge of burning all of Florence to the ground. Pietro tried to maintain some rationality. The house became a war zone.

And I...

I was already in motion.

I used every contact I had. Informants, allies, even enemies. I scoured all of Italy like an animal hunting.

Because there were two things I knew for certain:

No one would touch her and walk away unpunished.

And I wouldn't let anything happen to her.

Not just because she was the Don's sister.

But because she was... everything to me.

On the ninth day, I got a lead.

A name.

Keller.

A trafficker. A man known for his cruelty and his pleasure in destroying lives.

His original plan had been to sell her.

But once he found out who she was...

He decided to profit more.

Ransom.

And after that...

I don't even need to repeat it.

That sealed his death sentence.

I assembled a team. The best. No room for error.

We surrounded the location.

And I went in.

Ten men in the way.

Weak.

Quick.

They fell one by one.

Without difficulty.

Without importance.

I reached the room.

First, I found Keller.

He smiled when he saw me.

Arrogant.

Ignorant.

"Don't kill him," I told my men.

My voice was cold.

Controlled.

"He belongs to the Don."

They understood.

He'd be delivered.

For something worse than death.

I moved on.

And then...

I saw her.

Thin.

Gaunt.

Fragile.

But alive.

My Luna.

I didn't say anything.

There were no words that could fix that.

I untied her carefully.

She barely reacted.

She was exhausted.

I picked her up.

And carried her out.

The ride back was silent.

But inside me...

It was chaos.

When I arrived at the mansion, everyone was already waiting.

Paolo.

Pietro.

Her parents.

Desperation stamped on every face.

I stepped out of the car with her in my arms.

And walked in.

Without saying a word.

Climbed the stairs.

Entered her room.

Laid her on the bed.

Looked at her.

With everything I could never show.

And left.

Because if I'd stayed one more second...

I would've broken.

After that day, Paolo made a decision.

I became her shadow.

Constant protection.

Invisible.

Present everywhere.

But she was no longer the same.

Silent.

Sad.

Distant.

The girl who used to run through the gardens... had vanished.

And that destroyed me more than any enemy.

Then came the news.

Brazil.

Exchange program.

She wanted to leave.

Part of me wanted to stop her.

But another part...

Knew she needed it.

Paolo authorized it.

With one condition.

"You go with her."

I didn't argue.

I took a reduced team. Five men. The best.

Invisible.

And so four years passed.

Four years watching from a distance.

Protecting without being seen.

She had a luxury apartment.

But she hardly stayed there.

She preferred the simple house where her friends lived.

Maria Cecilia.

Ana Paula.

At first, I observed.

Assessed.

Suspected.

But it quickly became clear.

They were important to Luna.

And that made them vulnerable.

I assigned two men to watch over them.

Discreetly.

Without their knowledge.

Because protecting Luna meant protecting what she loved.

And then...

Graduation.

I stayed at a distance.

Watching.

She arrived...

And everything stopped.

Beautiful.

Strong.

Alive again.

Different from that broken girl I'd carried in my arms years ago.

She received her diploma from her own brother's hands.

And I remained in the shadows.

As always.

Until I decided to approach.

I asked permission from the Don.

He granted it.

I gave her the gift.

A chain.

A heart.

Engraved with three letters: F.F.F.

Strength.

Focus.

Faith.

But that was only the surface.

The pendant was a locket.

A secret.

That would only open the right way.

And inside...

There was something I'd never had the courage to say.

A declaration.

Engraved.

Eternal.

Maybe someday she'd discover it.

Maybe not.

But it was the most I could offer without crossing the line I could never cross.

She asked for a hug.

I looked at Paolo.

He allowed it.

When I held her...

Everything inside me reacted.

Her scent.

The warmth.

The closeness.

I wanted to stay.

But I didn't.

I never stay.

I excused myself.

Was about to leave.

But Paolo spoke:

"Stay."

I obeyed.

Sat at the table.

And accepted my fate that night.

Watch.

Feel.

And not act.

That was when something unexpected happened.

I saw it.

Paolo's gaze.

Directed at Maria Cecilia.

Different.

Attentive.

Interested.

I know Paolo better than anyone.

That wasn't ordinary.

And then...

Pietro.

The way he looked at Ana Paula.

Curious.

Amused.

Engaged.

I leaned back in my chair, analyzing.

In silence.

Perhaps...

That night wasn't just about a graduation.

Perhaps...

It was the beginning of something bigger.

Because if there was one thing I knew with absolute certainty...

It was that men like Paolo Salvatore and Pietro Salvatore didn't look twice at anyone without reason.

And when they did...

Nothing stayed the same.

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