Lost or Lose

2am. It was two in the morning when Till called his manager over.

“Till you do know what time it is right now, right?”

“You did tell me to call you at any time.”

“I didn’t mean it like that— Did you even sleep?” The manager says, half asleep. Before hearing anything in the other line, “You seriously didn’t?”

“So?”

Till was interrupted before speaking again

“I think I have a lead on Ivan right now, I need you to confirm I’m taking this story.”

Till’s manager did not speak, remaining silent before humming and ending the call.

Till thinks that his manager is coming, since he mentioned Ivan’s name. Till’s manager knew what happened to Ivan because of Till, he would mention his name every time he had a chance.

Till’s goal here is to find Ivan and ask why he disappeared without a word. But before that— all he can think about is who this Ibanny person is.

Time passes, and Till’s manager arrives at his place. He notices Till still sitting on the couch, wearing a black hoodie, his gray hair messy, and his eyes tired.

“Till? You do know you have a photo shoot later at 9am, don’t you?”

Till eyes remained unfazed.

“You’re an hour late.”

“Till, it’s 3:40 am.”

“An hour and forty minutes. Look, I just wanna play for this play, alright?”

The manager grabbed the script from his hand and looked at the author's name.

“Does this remind you of someone in particular?”

Till didn’t answer right away. Very hesitant.

“I told you I think I have a lead on Ivan earlier.”

“You seriously think Ivan wrote this?”

“Not only that, It's a nice story, and to clarify, if I picked this, I would be the Main protagonist? Kinda sounds interesting, don’t you think?”

The manager sighs and rubs his eyes before looking at the story itself, in the middle, so he told Till to go to sleep. Till finally agreed.

“Take care of the paperwork, will ya?”

Till walks inside his room, locking the door behind him. As he walked forward and sat in his bed, he set an alarm for 7 a.m. since he has a photoshoot in 9 after that, he sent a message to someone or people.

He lies down, eyes dripping, and finally he closes them softly, and he cuddles with a pillow next time.

********

“Till\~”

Till’s eyes widened as he turned to see a teenager staring at him with ease. He had dark raven hair, wearing an old uniform Till used to wear, but his face was blank. Till looked at the surroundings, the rest of the group was there: Hyuna, Luka, Mizi, and finally Sua.

“Till, did you already eat? Here I cooked your favorite!”

Till returned his gaze to the teenager in front of him and towards the lunchbox. He then remembered that long ago, he didn’t eat the food Ivan cooked for him, sometimes he just let some other student eat it, but now he remembers, he felt bad. He never accepted Ivan’s love at first.

“Thank you, I’ll eat it now,” Till says with a smile on his face.

The teenager tilted his head in confusion but then went back to talking.

Till hasn't realized it yet, but as he started to look more closer to the people, they all have faces except for the teenager in front of him. Could he be Ivan…?

But… why? Why? Why is Ivan the one with a blank face? Could it be?

Till is slowly forgetting Ivan’s face.

Till then opens his eyes, he realizes his alarm has been ringing for the past 10 minutes, he looks around the room, but as he does, tears are flowing down his face.

He just sat there in bed, staring at the floor, and thinking about the dream. He didn’t accept the truth, “No way, I don’t remember him.” He mumbles, his voice shaking, “His face… He had… His eyes… His.” Till stopped talking, and more tears poured down his face.

It would be bad if he came to shoot with red puffy eyes, but he can’t stop the tears. He just wished he had pictures of Ivan. If only he weren't arrogant and wasted their time. He wished he had more time.

Till took a deep breath before standing up and started to get ready for the shoot.

As he got ready, he opened his phone, and notifications popped up on his screen. He opened it to see who it was.

—————————————————. 💭 ———————————

Till: Sent 4 hours ago.

Do you guys know who Ibanny is?

Mizi: Sent 1 hour ago

Hmm, not exactly? But my co-workers talk about him a lot!

Hyuna: Sent 4 minutes ago.

Same, but why till? Do you think this could be Ivan?

Replied: Do you guys know who Ibanny is?

Luka: Sent 1 minute ago

Ibanny is a famous writer, no? They are known for their work and anonymous stories.

Replied: Same, but why till? Do you think this could be Ivan?

Till: Sent just now

Yes, I think so. I don’t have proof yet, tho… But I’m sure it's him.

Till replied without hesitation, if he believes that this Ibanny person is Ivan, then he should of course tell the gang about it.

Till's eyes narrowed at his delivered text, patiently waiting for someone to reply or see his message, and he caressed his gray, messy hair. A second later, Hyuna replied, and others followed.

————————————. 💭 ————————————

Hyuna:

There is a possibility that Ibanny could be, not sure tho

Mizi:

How’d you find out about that person, Till? Is Ibanny the one writing your next project?

Luka:

Remind me why we are looking for Ivan again? It's been 7 years.

That’s right. It has been exactly 7 years, 23 days, and 12 hours since Ivan disappeared. Not that Till was counting or gonna say that out loud, a text soon came in the GC. He looked at the name, ‘Sua.’ he clicked on the notification.

He always wondered why, when every time Till mentions Ivan in their gc, Sua would just not talk and just leave everyone on seen until we talk about something else, the others seem to also notice it but haven’t brought it up till now.

Replied: Remind me why we are looking for Ivan again? It's been 7 years.

Sua:

Even though Ivan is a weirdo and a creep, he still needs to be found.

Mizi:

BABY, YOU’RE AWAKE! GOOD MORNING(˶>⩊<˶)

Sua:

GOOD MORNING, MY BELOVED𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯

Replied: Even though Ivan is a weirdo and a creep, he still needs to be found.

Luka:

Where did this come from? You’re usually quiet when we talk about Ivan. Am I guessing you know something now?

Sua:

No, I don’t.

Luka:

Guessing you do.

Sua:

No.

Till stares at the messages on his phone. Weirdly, Sua wouldn't say such things about Ivan, she would just remain silent. But he didn’t mind it much and finally said something before turning off his phone.

Till:

I’ll just call the office about this writer. I need to get ready for a photoshoot, so gtg, bye.

Till then, proceed to go back to what he was doing in real life and get ready.

He wasn’t exactly a great dresser, himself. So before going to the set, the stylist would give him an outfit for what to wear when going to the set. He looks at the paper bag, grabs the outfit, and takes a look at it. He heard the theme was gonna be an angelic type of photoshoot to feature his new movie coming out. This isn’t Till’s style of clothing, but if it has to be worn, then there is no choice.

He then puts the outfit back into the paper bag and changes into his suit before finally going out. His manager was waiting for him outside, and when he noticed Till, he went to the driver’s seat and waited for Till to go inside.

*****

At the photoshoot, Till changed into his outfit, it was a long sleeved blouse with ruffled ends, the sleeves were long and full of ruffled layers, as he was wearing white pants to match the blouse, over the blouse was a white corset-type fit for Till’s body. As he finished dressing up, he then met up with the stylist, and they put on makeup for him.

After putting on the makeup, he then proceeded to go to the set, and he then met the rest of the actors who were playing with him in the last movie he made. A few minutes passed, and the photographer yelled out, “Till you’re next!”

A few hours passed, and Till was finally done with the photoshoot. Back in the car, it was silent, but Till was hungry, he hadn’t eaten anything since this morning.

“Are there any restaurants nearby?” Till asked the manager who was steering the wheel. Till then groans before speaking “I’m hungry.”

“There should be a restaurant nearby here, but It’s not your type of place, is that alright?”

“I don’t care, I just wanna eat.”

Till’s manager nods his head before turning to the side of the road and then taking a turn. A few minutes later, they arrived at a restaurant full of people, but like what Till’s manager said, this place wasn’t like those rich, fancy restaurants.

“You should wear a cap and a mask when you go inside to avoid fans or people who recognize you.” His manager says, before saying another thing, “I know the owner here, so I’ll tell them to bring in a private room to eat. I’ll be in the main room talking with people if you need something, just text me.”

“Alright,” Till replied while putting on a Black Baseball Cap, matching with a black mask. He then wears a hoodie to hide his suit before stepping out of the car and walking inside. The inside was crowded full of people, this restaurant was like those street food restaurants, but inside. It wasn't neat, it wasn't fancy, but it just makes you feel comfortable.

The manager asked the owner if he could bring Till to a more private room in the restaurant, and the owner nodded his head and took him to a room.

As he walks past people, he hears one of them mentioning the name Ibanny. He stops in his tracks and tries to make sense of their conversation.

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