Day off

Second sunday of November, leaves had already started falling. It's my day off, so here I am, sitting on my bean bag at the balcony on second floor where my library is.

I've been reading this story, Stay Awake, Agatha. I bought this back when I was still in the Philippines.

I started to think, what if I got in a 4 years deep sleep, or maybe, what If I'm already in a deep sleep, and this is all just a dream, what If, I'm still in the Philippines, at the hospital, lying on a uncomfortable bed. I looked at my wrist.

I thought of pinching it, and without any hesitations, I pinched it. "AaaAaAAaHhHHh!!!" Now I'm sure this ain't a dream, it hurts a lot.

I continued reading the book, An hour passed and I made it almost halfway of the story.

I looked at the stunning view from the balcony, Just- perfect.

I continued reading the story and then suddenly a pebble hits one of my flower pots. I just ignored it and continued reading, and again another pebble hits a flower pot, now I decided to look from below.

"Hi!" Timothy was there, waving at me with a big smile holding pebbles.

"What?!" I shouted from the balcony.

"Can I come in?" He asked, I rolled my eyes at him and went to the front door.

"What do you want?" I said after opening the door.

"I came to the cafe, but you weren't there, so I went here after." He said, "So- what are you gonna do today?"

"Nothing? Maybe reading?" I replied he.

"I have a list of everything you like, and everything I know that you will love to do" He said, smiling from ear to ear.

He went inside and so as I went back to the balcony, walking upstairs, passing near the three large stalls of books, and sitting at my chair.

I continued to read, I heard his footsteps from the stair, he coming here, I took a peek over my book, I can see the top of his head. I went back reading, He sat beside me.

"So? What do you want to do?" He asked peeking above the book. "How about movie marathon? Pot making? How about reading books?"

"I'm already reading" I answered, he moved back and sat just beside me, playing with his feet. "You can have some books over there" I pointed at the shelves.

He went to the shelves walking slowly, I looked at him picking a book. "Do you have- like romance?" He asked, I again then looked at him, "Like LGBT romance, without- sex."

I shake my head and continued reading. "Well- I have some mangas, yaoi, on top of the shelf in the right." I said. "But I'm sure, you won't like those."

"You don't have a good taste" he said, I looked at him dead in the eye, "you should have doraemon mangas in your library." He looked at me with a quirky eyebrows as always.

"I don't have money to buy some" I said then stood up from my seat to get a cup of water downstairs.

"Well- lucky for you, I have." He grabbed my hand before going down the stairs. He was about to open the front door dragging me. I pulled him after stopping in front of the door. "Why?" He asked.

I looked down at my hips, and so as him, he got eyes wide open when he saw me wearing an underwear only. "Oh, sorry, take your time, no rush"

He stood there and smiled at me. I rolled my eyes on him and went to my room. Slamming the door behind me. I looked and scanned my whole closet to find any pants, throwing the other clothes and some old small pants to my bed, searching for the right pants.

I notice a small box in the corner, it's my old shoe box, where I use to keep my secrets. I opened it and saw a bunch of old papers, some are dirty, and some are eaten by termites.

I saw a paper with a heart and some words in it, I read it.

Dear Tim,

         Happy Valentine's Day! I know we've been friends for 6 years... And... Ahmm. I can't really say it... It's just, I really really like you, like like-like you. I've been falling for you everyday you stupid flirt, your sweet words are music to my ears. This day I can finally say this to you.

I think... I love you.

                             Your Bestfriend, Theo.

"What are you reading?" He whispered to me at my back.

"Oh, it's for you, last Valentine's day at college, sorry, I didn't gave it to you, but here you go" I said the went to the bed and look for good pants that I threw there.

I looked at him while he reads it, he's smiling and blushing. "I also made one for you back then, I kept it in one shoe box just like this." He said. "in my next vacation, I'll give it to you"

"Nah, it's fine" I said, I'm already dressed after he finished talking. I stood up and went to my room's door. "Are you coming or not?" I said.

Walking down this quiet street with Tim whistling the tune of random songs. Listening to it makes it more like a very relaxing day, the clouds were coving half of the sun. "Today's really relaxing, don't you think?" I said facing him, walking backwards.

He nods, then I looked at the glass window of the flower shop. "That's one beautiful bouquet of red flowers." I said looking at it.

The clouds went away, and the sun shines to the window, making me see the reflection of Tim, staring at me.

I looked at him eyes widely open, he smiled at me as I look in his eyes, it was shining, I looked away, back to the streets all flustered, blushing and suppressing a smile.

I continued walking till we reach the bookstore. I was still blushing and thinking about random things about Tim that I didn't noticed that I already passed the bookstore. "Hey! Where are you going?" Tim said.

I looked at him then to the bookstore. He grabbed my hand and went inside, his hand was soft and it feels great holding his hand, I want to hold this forever, what am I even thinking?! Argh! I hate myself.

"Get anything you want." He said, then went to the manga section then I went to the novels section. I looked for some LGBT stories but I clearly can't find one, now that I'm kneeling on the floor to see stories from below the shelf.

I went to the counter to ask the cashier who's a chubby guy younger than me, "do you have ahm—" I was shy and can't even say it. Well here goes nothing.

"Do you have LGBTQ stories?" I said looking downwards.

He grabbed his bisexual pride pin from one of his drawers. "Don't be shy, I'm also a member, there are lot of people asking that question" he said holding the pin, then put it in his shirt, "Yes, we have lots of stories just over the manga section, second shelf at the left side." He said, smiling, he's nice though.

I thanked him, nicely, then went to the section. "Have you find anything?" Tim asked.

"He said, it's just at this shelf"

I cannot pick any of these stories, the cover, they all look so— eye catching. I was staring at the books and didn't noticed that Tim went beside me. "Are you going to pick anything?" He said, "try reading the summary at the back to have some idea about the story" he added.

I looked at him with my left eyebrow high as Burj khalifa. "I know how that works, I'm not stupid" I said, looking at him then back to the books.

He suddenly hugged me from behind as what he always does, I can feel the curves of his body or just his shirt, while I grabbed one random book, pretending to read the summary without noticing it's upside down while thinking Tim was kinda hot— I-i mean nut, he's nuts, yeah.

He grabbed it in my hand and turned it right side up. "I know what I'm doing, Luna Lovegood taught me how to read a book upside down."

I went to the counter to pay for the book that I just grabbed and read the summary upside down, without knowing the title and the author of the book.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked.

I nodded at him. "O-ok?" The cashier guy was obviously holding his laugh while Tim was looking kinda embarrassed. He paid for it and for the three Doraemon mangas and one sudoku.

I wondered why they're like that, maybe it's because of this book? I look at both of them, first at Tim then to the cashier guy, I also looked at his name tag, "Charles" I whisper reading his name.

My eyes can't believe what I'm seeing, 50 tips for first time gay sex. ARGHHHHHHHH! Who the bloody hell wants this kind of book? I was embarrassed and all I want is to get the refund even though it's not mine. I really need to read the title first before buying random books.

"Sorry, sir, NO REFUND is our motto here in the bookstore." Charles spoke, then I glared at him, sending a warning. I don't know why I did that even though it's actually my fault not reading the title.

"Ahm, It's time to go home" Tim grabbed me in the hand and exiting the store. Harold entered the store as before Tim and I exits.

"Oh— Theo?" He said making me stop at the door. "Ahm? He's your boyfriend?" He asked, my face started to become red as a tomato.

"Ahm— no, he's not" I answered looking at his feet.

"Ahmm, not yet" Tim added, I pinched his arm while looking down.

"Oh— okay, bye" he said then proceeds.

It was awkward and also I love how Tim holds my hand.

I wish he'll hold me like this forever. ARGH! what am I saying?!

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