three

Amber sat on the bed and ripped open the brown envelope, three more packets fell out, each had a number written on it and each had a different pastel coloured shade of green pink and blue, the green one was labelled :1:

...----------------...

...Dumbass!!! it's me, I see... so you are back! took you looong enough, You liar u said you'd be back in a year ir two anyway....

...Anyway you won't find me here anymore, I won't be staying in the house either, hah ^^...

...don't get scared If you hear noises at night, cause I promise it's not a ghost, and even if there is one I'll protect you TwT...

...where am I then? well now that's a good question haha, as I said I'll protect you from the ghosts form the Attic at night right? well, who would've thought it would be so fucking hard to write a death note to a loved one?...

...----------------...

Amber's heart beat droped, the **** was Nathan saying, a death note? her heart sank and she got chills, cold sweat left her body she quickly continued reading.

...----------------...

...yea...this is a death note,...

...I'm sorry, I had a lot to tell you actually, so I'll be making three letters, the next two are long, don't be sad Amb, I was the one who was weak, you were always perfect, flawless the thing was that I was filled with flaws, so I lost the will to live as soon as you left....

...I'm not blaming this on you, **** NO*!...

...hurting you would be like hurting myself, that day I thought to myself that, if I had asked you to wait would you have waited for me and not left the city? ...

...There are many IF's but I have no time fo reflect on my past deeds anymore. ...

... ****it's just that when you left I tried! I tried moving on and making life better, I even got a job, I tried getting myife back on track but****... ****I just COULDN'T anymore****. ...

...*I*f you dare blame this on yourself I swear to the gods of wherever I am!...

- Nathan :)

...----------------...

That's how the letter ended, her hands were shivering, this whole thing just felt off, "Nathan..." she called out, tears forming in her eyes.

"You're just joking aren't you? Nathan!" she called out louder

"Nathan, are you here, are you hiding somewhere? this is not funny anymore, I just returned."

*Thudd! ! !

There was a sound in the attic, she always hated the attic, since they moved in to this apartment, she felt a presence of someone in there, but whenever she used to send Nathan on top, he would say that 'it was completely empty and no one was in there.'

She had no guts to go on top, but she had to check on top... it wasn't that late so there was plenty of light coming in the house, she pulled down the ladder as she took a step on top, her heart beat grew faster

Tap*

She set foot on top, surprisingly the attic was... clean.

whoever took care of the house does a good job in and out,

bang**

Something behind her fell, she was hesitating whether to turn her head behind or not, but her curiosity was overwhelming so she turned, an old lamp was on the floor, It was in the box, she approached it and picked it off the ground keeping it where it originally might've been, this was the first time she came on top, ever. The place was cleaner and brighter than she had expected there was no foul smell, besides a stinging smell that she couldn't quite point out to.

"Nathan ... "

As she was turning around her eyes suddenly spotted a bright red glow of light from behind the boxes, she was taken aback by the anonymous faint red light, it seemed as though it blinked... so she let her guard up, she stared at it continuously, it started back at her. she stayed halted in her position, as it approached her she realised it was a rat, a white rat to be precise.

"a white rat huh, were you always the unknown ghost that Nathan..."

As she came back to reality, her eyes started getting wet as tears formed in her eyes... she went near the attic window where the light was getting scattered as she was still uncomfortable, and not feeling safe in the attic.

"Nathan." she whispered and finally warm tear drops fell from her eyes, she was so confused she did not understand why? how? and for what reason he died, she doesn't even know how he died, or if the letter carry any truth.

"If this is a game, please stop it, how can you be so selfish..." she murmured to herself.

She felt a presence again in the attic it was faint, so she knew it was just her hallucination. she plopped on the ground and sobbed softly,

why she accepted that Nathan died?

It was because, she knew that he had gone through a lot, she knew many people were after, but she was surprised that he was actually no more, it was so unrealistic, it was so painful, the thought of him never being there by her side, it was scary. She never thought he would ever leave her.

If I stayed would you still be alive, if I had stayed would you have not killed yourself? was it suicide? it wasn't mentioned on the note, she had to read the next two letters to get and understand the situation at hand. She wanted to get up and go back down to her room, but all her energy was drained she was thinking about the past, the happy memories came by her in a flash, all the times Nathan made her smile, the times he comforted her and the last ever memory together near the airport.

'I felt your anxiety Nath I knew it sob*

I just didn't know how to deal with that, and you understood me so you never said anything about it.

If I knew you were suicidal...

Sobs* if only I knew that...

Amber thought to herself... holding herself accountable when though she did not completely understand the situation...

Her sobs were faint but painful as her throat hurt with every cry. She wanted to scream, at last she thought

She was actually lonely, no one else by her side. Just her thoughts and herself, maybe this is how a person would slowly go crazy, her thoughts were going off to disturbing places and her brain was getting heavy, eventually she gets tired and worn out, falling asleep on the cold attic floor.

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