THREE

On my wedding day, my hands feel raw. Red and sore from all the work I had to do around the house. Dustin' wasn't too hard, but then there was sweepin' the floors and scrubbin' the walls and windows and moppin' and more scrubbin'.

Still, I had to organise the store room and the pantry, tidy the kitchen, and the dinin' room. He's got a room downstairs off the dinin' room that is for his dogs when it's cold outside and when the weather gets too bad. The parlour was by far the dustiest. I couldn't stop sneezin'.

Upstairs there are three bedrooms and a two level attic. I slept in one of the bedrooms and not the master. Marshall said he was waiting for our weddin' night to share a room with me. Wantin' to keep me innocent or some hogwash like that. I found myself too tired by dinner to listen much when he tries to talk to me. All I really remember is him frequently askin' me if I ever been with another man. If I have ever been in a relationship. I don't know how many times I gotta say 'no'.

What I found out though was that the people I met on the first day were his cousins. Norean and Coop. They don't live here. They just work here. Instead they live in a little townhouse in town.

"You ready, girl?" Norean fixes up my hair and puts on my veil.

I'm covered from head to toe in white. "Ready as I'll ever be." I reply, tryin' not to sigh. "Is it time yet?" because I wanna get it over with.

"My cousin loves you, you know?" she muses in my ear. "He always watchin' you and lookin' out for your family now. He thinks you are just so pretty and thinks that innocent sweetness that you've got is the best thing in the world. A good trait to have."

"Why?" I find myself wonderin'.

She shrugs. "I don't know. Reckon he just does. Ain't gotta be a reason for why somebody prefers somebody."

She finishes up with what she's doin' and guides me downstairs behind her. She wears a cornflower coloured dress, my only bridesmaid since I don't have any girl friends and my sisters are young.

Now that I think about it, today will be the first day in a while that I see my mama or any of my family. I've been held up in Marshall's farmhouse for the whole week.

Gaven is nowhere to be found either.

In the back of mind, I guess I hoped that he wasn't mad. But, he is and I know it.

"Here's come the bride." I can hear an elderly woman in the back whisper gleefully.

People from the town that I've never associated with before are here. Friends of Marshall's or just people who invited themselves since weddin's ain't all that common anymore. Most young folk leave town and only come back to raise their kids.

I walk down the aisle and go to Marshall. He stands there lookin' handsome indeed, but big in size. Castin' a shadow on the small part of aisle in front of him.

Nevertheless, he seems happy to see me.

The weddin' goes on and Marshall and I exchange vows. He tells me that he loves me and will take care of me just as good as my daddy did. Even though that is doubtful, I reply by tellin' him that I'll work to be the perfect wife and perform my duties as such. I cain't tell him I love him. That would be a lie.

Instead, I tell him that I appreciate everything he's done for me.

The ceremony ends with us sayin', 'I do' and him kissin' me all gentle like.

We walk down the aisle and I smile at everybody that wishes us luck and blessin's. Nobody in town seemin' to have any objections. Even though our age difference is so high. Maybe because the mayor married his wife when she was around my age and he was eleven years older. They've been married twenty years and they still look at each other the same.

"Smile, sugar," Marshall pokes me right above the lip. "You just became Mrs. Leo Marshall, Gracie Belle."

I do smile. I smile with all my heart. I know exactly why, I'm thinkin' about my mama and my sisters and grandmama. Grinnin' and wavin' at my wedding. I'm happy they're happy and taken care of now.

"Why do you love me, Marshall?" I ask him quietly. He's got one arm around and over my shoulders his free hand on the wheel.

He quickly swipes his nose with his thumb. "We're married now, you ain't gotta call me 'Marshall'," he tells me with his eyes on the road. "It's strange, ain't it."

"Alright," my palms get sweaty. "Well, Leo, why do you love me?"

He goes around it again. "Call me 'Lee', Gracie."

I get real frustrated, real fast. "Lee, why do you love me!" I raise my voice for the first time in a real long time. "It is just a simple question, answer me!"

He takes his arm from behind me and holds the wheel so he can stop on a dime. "Don't yell at me." he says quietly at first. "Don't you ever yell at me!" he demands and I back away as far into the door as possible.

Marshall sounds mad enough to hit me and no matter how much I back up, I'm still in arms reach of him.

"I'm sorry." I shudder at the look in his eyes. Bloodshot at the edges. As heated as summer. "It won't happen again." I start to twirl my necklace in my fingers.

He sniffs and starts drivin' again. "Better not."

Not even an hour I been married and already, I wanna run away. Earle didn't even yell at me that fiercely. That land is really my grandmama's and he don't wanna incur her wrath too much so he watches hisself. But, Marshall... he ain't got the fear in him.

"Come on." he opens his door and waves to me.

I get out of the truck and pick up my dress to walk to the house, but Marshall comes around and picks me up. Bridal style is how I always liked to be carried over the rough parts of the tracks and hills by Gaven. Now Marshall holds me like this to bring me over the threshold of the house I already been livin' in for a week.

"I could've walked." I mutter, not really sure what tone I should speak in now.

"This is what husbands do." he tells me. "I'm gonna carry you," he reaches for the door. "All the way to the bedroom."

A dry feelin' rises in my throat, I don't have any word to say in response to that.

The sense that somebody is watchin' me catches me and I hold on to Marshall's shoulder to lift myself a bit so I can see over it. My eyes land on the bush up the driveway and I could swear I see somethin', but the door closes.

Marshall takes me up the stairs and right into the master bedroom. Putting me down on the bed before goin' to take off his tie.

I shudder at the thought of what comes next, but I play along. "Do ya... Do ya want me to take this off?" I pull at the neck of my dress.

He nods at me. "Slowly." he turns to me completely and stares. "Go ahead."

I take off my dress as easily as I can without rippin' it.

When I have it all the way off, and my hair down, I just sit here on the bed with my hands in my lap. Waitin' for him to do somethin', anything, so I can feel somethin' else other than this mind numbin' nervousness.

The first move he makes after strippin' down is goin' to close the flower patterned curtains on the windows. Then he comes over towards me.

I try to distract myself by lookin' at his features. Hair is all on his chest and his head hair is out of order now. He is strong like a farmer and broad like a grown man. He smells like Olive oil and aftershave. Not a bad smell, but it kinda burns my nose.

Marshall has got really pretty brown eyes though. Though I don't think he'd take too kindly to bein' called pretty in any way shape or form.

Kisses are pressed all along my body, he takes his time as if he's got all the time in the world. Until a certain point. Then he starts to rush as if he cain't contain himself no more.

I don't say anything, I try to bite the inside of my upper lip so I don't make a sound, I keep my body limp so he can move me the way he wants.

When he tells me to do somethin' I do, when he tells me to make a sound, I do it.

When he puts himself inside of me, I don't feel no pain. Not too much of it anyway. More than feelin' that kind of pain, I feel a twinge in my heart again. It's strange to think, but I want to see Gaven.

I want him to give me a hug and tell me it's alright like he did when we were kids and my daddy died. I want him to tell me that I'm doin' the right thing by marryin' Marshall so I can have my family taken care of. Inside I know he won't ever say that, though. Cause he don't believe that, not one bit.

Marshall finishes sooner than I thought, books made me think it last for hours if not a whole night. When he is done, it feels like hours have passed but I can see on the ticker that it's only been about twenty minutes. Give or take.

"What do you want me to do now?" I sit up, slow. Clutchin' my ******. I've never been this ***** in front of anybody before. Not since I hit puberty and started maturin'.

Marshall breathes in through his nose like he frequently does. "Make dinner." he answers like it's obvious.

"Alright." I scoot on off the bed and get to my feet. I go to the room I was stayin' in at first. I still got all my clothes in here so I come in here to change. I wanna take a shower first, more than anything, but I'll get dinner done, eat, and then make myself feel clean again after. "Mar... Lee, I gotta go into town." I tell him after I get dressed and start to do my hair. "Can I have some money to get what I need to make dinner?"

He goes to his drawer and pulls out his wallet. "Here." he sifts through all the bills and hands me forty dollars. "Gimme my change when you get back."

I nod. "Alright."

I grab my basket on the way out so I ain't gotta buy bags at the market and head out. I don't want Marshall to drive me and I don't want to be bothered, so I make up my mind to walk.

The whole way while I'm in front of the house, I feel eyes on me. Comin' from above in the house.

I am about to turn around to wave at Marshall because I know he's watchin' me, but then I notice somethin' outta the corner of my eye.

Footprints right in front of the bush and tree at the end of the driveway. They're fresh. But I cain't think of a soul that would stand here. Until a face pops up in my mind. I shake it off, thinkin' I'm crazy. Then I turn to the house. I was right. Marshall was watchin' me... He's still watchin' me. With a sour expression on his face.

I ignore it. And head to the market. Thankful for some time to myself.

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