Prologue

Is it a crime for a 30 year old bachelor woman to live a happy life without love. Its not like i haven't tried these ways...its just that it always have to end up in a one side love story and not the typical love story that is in novels,dramas and all. And as if that wasn't enough..the worst is that i always end up hurting myself in every one sided love that ive ever had and the worsest sistuation is that I've to act like i wasn't hurt at all,does it even need to be asked,who won't be hurt in a one sided love unless its fake.Well it might not be an actual love,but who cares,it still hurts too ..ive always dream of having a first kiss,first love ..all the romantic proposses while i was young but it only end up in the hand of others. Well..if one asked me just how much of a one sided love that ive bravely encountered..honestly i might not be able to answer the exact amount,cos if all those one sided is mutual i will have a relationship with every increase in academic level.Its not like i will be some play girl who gets into relationship just for the purpose of pleasure...its just that,thats how much of a one side love that I've encountered,i can't help it you know,when i find that the one i liked like another and that they're together,i just wanna diverged myself from those feelings and pain and thats how i can do it,only by changing or focusing it to another one,another person.I still remembered that one special person who ignited all those feelings of mine for the very first time...i am not sure if thats what they called love is but at that moment every cell in my body was like they came back to life from death,i don't know how,i can't even describe that feeling but i am sure that i loved every moment of that time.But that too end up in vain,and also the worst among all the other crushes that ive had,cos i wasn't even able to have a simple nor single conversation with him.I just have a few glances with him however i was still satisfied with that and thats how it came to be my first crush along with my first one sided love came to end. Life is not fair at all,i even wanna have babies,and lots at that,to be precise i wanna have a triplets,a twins after that and last but not least a single child,i have dreams too its not like i can't. Well,as for the me in 30 yrs,who cares about all those bullshit...i can live happily ever too without that thing called love.

And that's what i think untill....

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