1 Kate

I'm sitting across the table from my best friend. She's wrapped in her boyfriends arms. Lily invited me but forgot to tell me Jo was gonna be here and now I'm stuck at an awkward lunch.

"So how's everything been," Lily asks. "Have you met any guys."

I fake a smile. "Everything has been great and no haven't met any guys yet."

Lily nods. Jo smirks, "How bout any girls."

I glare at him. He knows I'm gay and tries to use it against me all the time. I don't know what lily see's in him. Our food finally shows up and I am thankful for the distraction. I dig into my burger.

"You know Kate's not gay right." Lily tells Jo.

"Sure." Jo replies.

I sit and listen to their banter hoping that they will finish there food.

Finally Lily offers me piece of mind. "Well we'll be off."

I smile and nod, "yup see you guys at school tomorrow."

I start to head out when Lily comes up behind me. "You okay?" She asks.

"Yea why wouldn't I be."

"You were just quiet tonight and were in a bad mood."

"Oh. I'm just having a rough time with school." I lied.

I hated lying to her but I can't tell her I'm jealous. I can't tell her I love her. I turned to look at her blushing. What's going through her head. "You alright?" I ask.

"Yea. I was just thinking why does Jo always joke about you having a girlfriend."

I stop and turn towards Lily. "I'm gay." I said.

"What?" She shrieked.

I sat there waiting for her to calm down. I figured this would happen but I was sick of lying and I was just going to see if she accepts me for who I am.

"Why didn't you tell me? How long have you known?" Questions started bursting out of her mouth.

"I've known since freshman year and I didn't know how you'd react if I'd told you."

"How did Jo know?" Lily asked I had been waiting for that one.

"He caught me kissing a girl at a party."

"Oh."

"I better head home before it gets to late." I said trying to leave the situation.

"Yea me too."

I got in my car and headed towards my house. I didn't know how this would end. I didn't know if she would ignore me at school tomorrow or if she would act normal it was scary. I drove home on auto pilot. I went up stairs to my bedroom and sat on my bed. I looked around at my walls looking at all the photos of Lily and I. I wanted to cry she would find out sooner or later that I love her and then she'll leave me like everyone else.

When I came out to my parents they told me I could live with them but they would have nothing to do with me that they would provide what I needed but once I graduated high school I needed to be out of the house. So the only person in my family that talks to me is my sister. I have one friend that I trust but I'll probably lose her to.

I feel the tears run down my cheeks I'm crying and I hadn't even realized it. I'm lonely and I'm just waiting for everyone to leave me. I know I will never be loved and that I am worthless. So I just wait for the end.

I get up to turn off the lights I don't bother changing. I lay in bed thinking and hoping someone would love me anyone.

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