Prologue

You know none of us know when we are falling in love. We do not even see it coming. But time, time lets you develop all these forbidden feelings.

The worst pain is falling for someone who warned you not to fall for them a long time ago.

And still you end up being madly in love with them. You try to say its not love. Its obsession, possession , infatuation, anything but love. Then, these feelings that you pushed down starts heating up your chest and you know that the only way to finally feel free is to let them know that you love them.

You know what they will say "I told you not to fall for me. I cannot be with you."

Yeah, these words hurt. But its even worse when they say

"I haven't healed yet. I have not moved on yet. You cannot replace that one person. Ever"

I am so confused and lost here. I will not blame myself for this. You were the most amazing person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. You gave me strength. You gave me the power to feel vulnerable. Now I cant be with you? Because I have the most purest feelings for you?

I know that this world is cruel and my small head and tiny perspective won't help me understand this. I do not care anymore. I can read, dance, paint , talk with others, sing songs , study or do whatever. You will always be there in my head and heart. You face and your smile. I know that your eyes twinkle when you look at me. What are you so afraid of ? Another heartbreak? I cannot promise you forever but I will be here for you. You have to heal yourself and let me be the bandage to help heal those wounds.

And now all I feel is this longing for you. Someone that can never be mine. Its not like you wish that you will never be mine but you just can't. That's what you said to me , right?

I was down on my knees for you

Never felt this way for any man

I swallowed my pride for you

My ego dissolved in your heart

Your acidic heart

I want to help you heal

I want you to help me heal

Let us make bandages

Apply our love as medicine

And let this love heal the poison

We have injected inside each other

I endured the slow passage of time for you

You were worth all the wait

With every passing second I craved for your presence

And when I finally felt you

It felt like the world made sense to me

this complex, chaotic , cruel world

seemed like home to me

I am happy to be alive

Just so that I could feel and welcome your

warm embrace that melts my walls

You are a feather wrapped in layers of toxic waste

It is hard to cure you, my love.

But I am trying

for you

because to me, you are worth it all.

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