The Only Child

See, I'll be honest with you. Being a only child isn't so bad also in the other hand. it Isn't SO Good.. sometimes you feel like, all the attention is up to u! and that's good.. but also at some certain times.. you are expected to be "360" at ones. And That is when you feel miserable.

I felt the same.. why not.. I'm only a human being.. how am I suppose to do everything at ones.. it is real that you can expect me to.. but not everyone's good at everything right..

yea.. this are the lines.. I'm tired of explaining to my parents. being the only child my mother's side.. I was their center of attention in a family reunion also an center of jealousy frm my cousins. yeah, my cousins hate me with all they have.. Hate isn't enough sometimes.. so they plan tricks to prove that I'm stupid and clumsy.

Yet they fail everytime.. it's not like they hate me.. and I love them and accept they are ideal cousins I ever had.. I hate them as well, why? oh because they hate me.

so this way the hate continues.

I'm a only child, I don't know the struggle or feeling of having siblings.. some say it's fun, while others say it's worse. but I say..when you have siblings the pressure of being the "360" is less.. like if you are the older you are supposed to be the "second parent" of your sibling which explains that weather you be the good one then your sibling gets compared with you.. BUT IF THE OPPOSITE HAPPENS.. and your sibling is better than you!.. TRUST ME! YOUR LIFE IS RUINED!. you get so compared with them that their will be time when you will feel so miserable and unworthy that you will think that you are not important anymore and you need to give up on everything. which leads to suic**el thoughts. **( I recommend professional help for situations like that. mental health issues need to be specialized under professional help)***

well these are the answers I got from my friends who have siblings or I saw such stuff in my cousins. to be honest, I don't think I need these kind of stuff or troubles at my daily life as the 24 hours I spent are already much troublesom.

my parents have higher expectations with me. from an early age I was engaged in several actives such as Art, music, culture and education is their of course. now what I mean by "culture"? culture means.. learning different educational stuff as an thing. such as - having the knowledge about what's going on around the world, famous personalities and their deeds and so much more. growing up with all these added to my unwanted list.. I created bases upon art, music and the mythology stuff.. I created special interest upon the "Greek and Indian mythology" I loved their stories and mythic talks. but I barely had anyone to talk to.. mum was always tired by the household work and dad came home from work tired as well.. and I didn't had enough friends.. barely a few of them.. so I spented most of my times alone and in silence because I had nobody..

as I grew up.. as a teenager I felt the waves of loneliness and soon I felt depressed about myself as I was lonely and had noone to talked to Or listen too. now I felt like I am leftover among my friends and soon I started to ignore them as well.. and was left with very few.. and I was laughing and smiling and talking with some of those that I really felt good.. but it was only for some hours.. after that again.. all alone..

I saw the colours when the lights were on and fell asleep into the colourless nights.

I fell deeper into the social media feeds watching the rich and the famous. I lost myself. their was times when these entertained me no more and that's when I was again surrounded by the loneliness.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***