chapter 1

I never understand the concept of let go someone because you love them. Isn't it

weird  if you love someone why would you

let them go at first place , instead you would want them to stuck by your side

forever right?! until I met him...letting someone go is not something you can

describe in words. It doesn't matter how much I love him or he love me, what

matters is even if we love each other we can't be together because of some

reason. I let go of him because I cant see him getting hurt , I let go of him

because I love him and I don't want him to wait for me more.

This is my story, a story of a life long love which I wasn't even sure about at first.

Which happen coincidently like a fairy tale which consists of haters and

supporters.

In this world of people filled with so many desires , he( named bill) was the one who

make me feel that he doesn't feel anything towards me. So I never considered

him to be someone whom I can like even in future. I don't know why at that time

where ever I see , I only saw couples loving each other, making promises to be

together for a long long time. I constantly make friends and at some point they

start loving me and end up proposing me and always spoiled the bond between us.

He was the only one who survived 8 months with me. finally that day come when he

realized that he can't hide his feelings anymore. He was worried if he'll

spoiled the friendship between us. What if I'll be disappointed in him after

knowing what he feels for me.

Truthfully he never had given me a single hint that he liked me. he decided to propose me

on valentine's day. You know somewhere I always knew that he like me because

whenever i talk to him about my boyfriend(EX) , he always look so disappointed

and grumpy , but I never considered it as a hint.

About my boyfriend from 5 years ago:

He was my junior , I will not lie he was quite good looking. On the very second day of

our relationship. He called me to come and meet him at the corridor. When i

reached there he suddenly pushed me to the wall and started kissing me. i was

trying to stop him but i couldn't .even if we were in a relationship , i

couldn't get used to what he did because when he was kissing me i couldn't feel

the love but lots of lust. When i went back home , i rubbed my lips with the

hard soap to get rid of that feeling of kissing him. After thinking for four

days i decided to broke up with him. I was disappointed in myself for making

such a reckless choice.

Still to this day , i wasn't able to tell bill about this incident . Because whenever i

think about it , it make me feel so disgust in myself that i couldn't even

handle it.

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