-Pain-, -Ayala-, & -KMS-

\-CHAPTER SEVEN\-

\-Pain\-

I’m a bit better now.

For the most part, I’ve stopped self harming; plus, I’m yet to relapse!

But that doesn’t mean my depression is subsided or that I’m happy.

I’m just yet to fold under the pressure and harm myself… yet..

On top of that, I’ve started eating again— though a bit less than average, however.

——

It’s been a month since JoJo kissed me, and since then, he’s been different.

He insists on sleeping on my floor after I have nightmares.

He’s also eerily calm about Danny’s disappearance.

He remains close to me and has even gotten his class schedule adjusted to match mine.

It seems like no matter what— at home or at school, he’s always there.

He reminds me to take my medication when I wake up.

Occasionally, however, he looms over me, watching my every move.

Though often from a distance, I can feel he gaze boring into my figure.

I know it’s him.

He has a very specific demeanour to him.

Stern yet oddly prideful.

I can’t read him as easily as other boys my age.

We’ve known each other for about two and a half— almost three months at this point, yet I know nothing about him except the fact that he’s mildly popular.

Boys and girls alike seem to have crushes on him, but there seems to only be two he’s taken any sort of interest in: a boy our age named Robert Speedwagon, and a girl of the same age named Erina Pendleton.

JoJo seems to show no romantic interest in either of them however, tending to carefully distance them from us however he sees fit, I don’t think he trusts them just yet.

I’m sure he’ll get comfortable around them soon though— no harm in making friends!

——

“Time to wake up, Dio. Your food and medicine are ready for you in the dining area.”

JoJo’s face is the first thing I see upon opening my eyes.

His bright smile as he peers over me is a bit unnerving, however.

I get out of bed and get dressed before simply tying my hair back.

——

I make my way downstairs and to the dining area as I adjust my clothes, deciding that a casual outfit with jeans, a t-shirt, and a long sleeve shirt underneath were optimal for the mid-spring season of early April.

One more day until my 15th birthday.

One more day until I make my decision final.

This’ll be my fourth and last birthday without my mom.

I have it all figured out, down to the method.

I completely skip out on breakfast, leaving the house as soon as I’m ready.

We don’t have school today, but I figure I should at least talk to Erina and Robert before I go through with my plan.

As a goodbye..

——

Erina, Robert, and I all meet at the park. We discuss friends, family, school. I mention a really nice teacher— Mister Zeppeli, a history teacher at our school.

He’s very calm, has never yelled, and he’s quite passionate about his teachings.

I appreciate that in a teacher.

“Hey, Robert, Erina.. I appreciate you guys’ friendship. It’s been kinda hard to be around people that don’t tend to understand, y’know?”

They look at me, seemingly worried as Robert speaks.

“Dio, where’s this all coming from? It’s in your basic human right to be cared about. Someone as sweet as you deserves nothing but the most love and respect, and that’s what we’re here for— to support you.”

I sigh, “That’s.. understandable.. But not so easy to relate to..”

I breathe and continue, “Since my mom passed, I’d been hit, yelled at, and sexually assaulted almost every day by my father..”

I advert my gaze, ”That went on for almost four years until he died in February of this year. I’d began to feel dependent on him as if his abusive behaviors were a prescription drug..”

I wipe tears from my eyes, “H-He was the last one I had left after my mom’s heart attack. Unlike JoJo, or anyone else really, I never experienced happiness when my father was alive. I can’t even experience it now because of my past. I guess I just don’t deserve to be happy, huh?”

I feel a hand on my face, a familiar one at that.

“Dio, what are you doing here so early in the day? You didn’t eat or take your medicine..!”

Jonathan..

Jonathan..

“I just needed some fresh air and someone to vent to, JoJo.. I’m sorry. A lot has been going on and I just needed to get it off my chest.."

JoJo simply smiled and nodded befor turning to Erina and Robert, “Keep him safe while he’s out here..”

He promptly proceeded to take his leave.

\-CHAPTER EIGHT\-

\-Ayala\-

There’s a name that tends to linger in my thoughts: ‘Ayala’. To me, it has a meaning.

To me, it means empty, cruel, and unforgiving. It’s an inflicted emotion. An emotion you’re forced to feel.

\-CHAPTER NINE\-

\-KMS\-

April 10, 1992: ‘happy’ birthday to me.

I watch as the bathtub fills up with water.

“Dio! Breakfast is ready!” JoJo calls out for me, but I don’t respond.

——

I take my place in the tub and roll my sleeve up, grabbing the blade I prepped in advance.

Tensing my arm, I press the blade into my vein, striking across.

I feel nothing. An ‘ayalic’ feeling, I guess.

Broken, empty, something I've felt my entire life.

The feeling of being stuck and helpless.

That dark haze lifts as I fade in and out of conciousness.

My body feels heavier..

My arm is too heavy, so I let it fall into the already changing water as I slip from consciousness.

"I'll see you in hell, Dad."

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