-Imaginary Illness- & -Paralyzed-

...“YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND MY PAIN..! YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS EVERYTHING YOU’VE PUT ME THROUGH!”...

That was the last thing I’d ever said to him.

I left shortly after. I was livid, tired, and I wanted nothing to do with him.

I’m like this because of him, the cutting, the constant thoughts of wanting to hurt myself, the constant need for him to be proud of me.

I’ve gone back to ‘visit’ his grave once since I got here.

I usually only ever go back to London to visit my mother’s grave, however.

When I think of him, I can only think of the strong reek of alcohol, the cuts, bruises.. the blood.. the pain.. suicide..

I’m yet to recover, how can I?

I live life behind a faked smile because it’s so hard to.. Express.. my true emotions.

———————————————————

My new brother, Jonathan is well — interesting. He’s quite protective despite coming off as such a soft person.

He’d be excruciatingly clingy if I told him I was being bothered at school.

And Lord Joestar — he treats me like family.. I just feel like I’m getting in the way of their relationship.

That father-son relationship I could never have because of the dark haze I was under most of my life, and right now, the haze still doesn’t seem to be letting up.

...I need to breathe.....

Why am I sad? I don’t have a reason to feel pressured. There’s so much weight on my shoulders.

...Why does it feel like I killed him? It was natural, he died of natural causes.. Dario.. I couldn’t breathe right in your presence.. the reek, the guilt, the pain…...

...I need to breathe…...

It feels like I’ve come under the effects of some illness, but no one can see what’s wrong with me..

“What’s wrong with me? Why do I have this incessant want — need to please people who’ve wronged me? The incessant need to be wanted…”

I’m sick, but no one can see it. It’s almost as if I have an imaginary Illness..

_______________Chapter 2______________

______________-Paralyzed-______________

I’m awakened to a knock on my door.

Mr. Joestar knocks and enters the room as my eyes adjust to the light outside. I notice the look on his face before anything else: sadness, guilt, sympathy..

“Yes Mr. Joestar..?” I see the paper in his hand and I can feel my breathing turn stagnant for a few seconds.

“Dio.. JoJo found this in the dining area. I apologise, but he did read it..”

He holds up the paper and I freeze. I can’t help the tears that fall down my face as I fail to look my adoptive father in the eye.

“S-sir I..” My eyes are screwed shut, I can’t dare to try to look at him in a state such as this.

“Dio..” JoJo is now leaning against my doorframe, arms crossed as he looks at me.

“JoJo..”

I get out of bed, blanket still wrapped around me as I walk over to him, his arms open for an embrace. Collapsing into him, I can feel his arms holding me as my knees weaken. He helps me sit on the floor not breaking the hug.

“J-JoJo..”

That’s all I can say. I can’t move. I can only stare into JoJo’s gaze, his dual colored eyes full of an emotion I can’t read..

“It’s okay, Dio.. Just breathe..”

I-I’m trying JoJo.. I’m trying so hard.. I want to breathe, but I can’t… Please JoJo.. Please help me…

“I-I’m sorry JoJo..”

“Dio, I’m here, just sit, I’ll grab you some tissues and a glass of water..”

JoJo and Mr. Joestar exit the room and I feel my body trying to relax. However that doesn’t last long as I hear rapid tapping against the hardwood grow louder by the second.

Upon seeing the source of the noise, I scoot myself back into a corner and pull the blanket over my head, my heart racing as I feel that damn dog jump on me, ripping a loud scream from my chest.

My world goes silent and time seems to halt. My ears ringing and hot tears running down my face faster than before. Arms locked in an upright position to cover my wide eyed fearful expression. I’m paralyzed.

“DANNY NO!”

JoJo’s voice snaps me back to reality. I feel my body trembling and I hold onto the blanket as if it were a lifeline.

“Father? Could you please remove Danny from the room while I tend to Dio”

The words are faint in my mind and I’m barely able to make them out.

_____________________________________

I feel myself being sat up like some doll as JoJo helps me prepare for school.

I can do somethings alone, but I’m barely helpful with my desperately shaking hands.

I have to but my shirt on by myself.. I struggle with it, but I can’t face him until it’s on.

I splash my face, fix my uniform, and straighten my hair before walking out of my bathroom and grabbing my backpack.

Desperately, I pat my face to try and clear the puffiness around my eyes hoping to hide evidence of my panic attack as JoJo makes his way back upstairs and into my room. I notice red splatters along his pants.

“Breakfast is ready, Dio..” JoJo speaks calmly and makes his way out of the room. I see something in his hand, but I shrug it off as a tie or something.

_____________________________________

As I make my way to the dining area, I can’t help but find myself wondering what was in JoJo’s hand.

It bared an extreme resemblance to Danny’s collar, but I could be wrong.

I just know that I’m tired..

I feel mentally paralyzed right now..

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