chapter 4

I woke up late next day, and I knew something was wrong. You never let me sleep in this long, even when you had the flu you refused to let me sleep past 10, and it were then 1pm. I knew something was up, a cold feeling has said in my stomach. I didn’t even bother putting on more cloth before running to your room ripping open the door, I knew what had happened the second I saw you. Lying the in your bed, hand folded over your stomach over your throw over still wearing all your cloth.

I gribbed at your desperate, trying to find a breath, a heartbeat, pulse?! Anything! You couldn’t leave me like this! I had told you it would be okay! We would figure it out! It was to late, I can’t really remember much that happened after. Namjoon says it’s cause my brain is trying to protect me from the memories. I managed to call the ambulance, but they had confirmed you had been dead for hours. You had killed yourself, overdosed on sleeping medication, they said it might had been an accident, but I know better. We had all let your build up this dream, your entire world point was centered around it, you didn’t know how to go on without it, cause we never even gave you the chance.

That night, I lost my best friend, I lost my soulmate… and I lost a piece of myself. I have to admit I thought of following you, I might have done it hadn’t it been for our friends. I am good friends with both Jungkook and Taehyung now, you would have liked them. They named their first daughter after you, I said they didn’t have to, but they insisted. They wanted to honor your memory.

It’s over 15 years since you died now, I never found somebody to replace you in my life. I haven’t even tried, but its okay. I have good friends here, and I like baby sitting all their children. You would have loved them, they are amazing. I still miss you so much, my lie has finally come true tho, my soul mate mark is white now, but I am not ashamed anymore. When the kids ask why it's white I tell them the story about how a little girl grew up with a dream that turned into a nightmare, I tell them about you. We never tried to hide you from them, and even as I am writing this I am looking after Hoseok’s youngest.

They have all heard of aunty y/n, I promise I will never let anybody go through the nightmare you did. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.

I don’t really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one I know you will smack me for even consider following you there. So to 15 years without you, and many many mores to come. I still love you, I will always love you.

Love

Your Jimin

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