chapter 1

The anger hurriedly rushed to Jungkook’s face as he listened to the two men giggling in the room next door. He desperately took his pillow and tried covering his ears in an attempt to forget about those two and sleep, but he could still hear the laughs and slight moans very clearly.

He could only wish he was deaf.

The young man sat on the bed he was laying on, and looked at the white wall separating him from the two lovers in the other room. Jungkook took a long, deep breath and stopped to think about the strong rage that was taking over him.

Since when did he have a problem with Taehyung bringing guys over to their apartment? He had always accepted his roommate and supported him since he came out to him, but all of a sudden he had started getting inexplicably mad and sick to his stomach when Taehyung brought his boyfriends to the apartment, wanting them out the second they arrived and feeling angry at the sight of Taehyung showing them affection.

He couldn’t understand. He was really good friends with him, and he had never had any problems with gay or lgbt people, and he felt like actual crap for not liking the fact that Taehyung was living his life happily as himself, not having to hide whom he wanted to love.

Of course he hadn’t said anything to Taehyung, and he wasn’t planning to. He was just hoping that the rejection he started to have for him would just go away. He knew and believed firmly that there was nothing wrong or unnatural about Taehyung, but he couldn’t help feeling disgusted everytime he was romantically involved with any man.

He checked his phone.

2:14 a.m.

He had a class very early in the morning, so he decided he needed to push his awful thoughts aside and have some sleep. He grabbed his broken earphones from his night stand and listened to his favorite music until he slowly drifted into Morpheus’ embrace.

“Hey! Hey, Namjoon!” Jungkook yelled from the end of the hallway in the arts’ building.

The tall, purple haired literature student turned around, almost hitting a girl with his bag in the process.

Jungkook walked quickly towards him, and they continued to pace towards the university’s cafeteria together.

“Hi, Jungkook, what’s up?” said Namjoon while looking at the younger man.

“Well, since you’re like, wise and all, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh, I’m the opposite of wise but, sure! I’m all ears.”

“Well, do you know my roommate Taehyung, Jimin’s friend?” Namjoon nodded, and Jungkook continued. “Uh, he’s gay, and sometimes he brings guys over to our apartment. I never had any problems with that… until recently.”

“Maybe you’re just jealous that he has guys over and you don’t?”

“I’m straight, Nam.”

“Oh, shit, my bad” the older seemed to think about the situation for a minute. Then he continued. “I know you pretty well, and you couldn’t be a homophobe, you’ve always accepted me and Jimin completely, so my guess would be that you just want to find a girl who loves you and who you can have over at your apartment just like Taehyung has guys over.”

“Well, now that you mention it...” said Jungkook, thoughtful.

“Mention what?”

“I have no issues with you or Jimin liking boys or kissing boys or whatever, the only one i don’t feel comfortable with when he has boyfriends is Taehyung... isn’t that weird?”

“Maybe it has to do with us not living with you. You see Taehyung all the time, you live under the same roof and you’re there basically every time he has a guy home. You can’t know when Jimin or I have boys over or go out with them. You wouldn't even know we had boyfriends if we didn't tell you.”

“It… makes sense, but it doesn’t feel like that. Do you think maybe I have a problem with Taehyung? Like, not with him being gay, but with him as a person.” he wondered.

“I honestly have no idea. Only you can know that. You have to dig deep into your thoughts to really realize how you feel about him. It’s sort of a tricky thing in my opinion.” Namjoon answered as he took a book out of his bag.

“True… Ugh, it’s eating me alive, I feel horrible for not liking his happiness.” Admitting so took away all ease left in him.

“Like I said, I really don’t think a person as good as you could have a problem with his happiness, I just think you want to have the same thing he has with his lovers. Or you could be in love with him. But you’re straight, so, that’s not really an option.”

“Right, I’m… straight…”

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