A messenger from God is it a gift or a curse ?

Hi good readers around the world ... 

My mother always told me that I have a special gift since I was little girl because a grandfather from my father has a supra natural gift such as heal the sick people , help people who want to get promoted in the office , help people who want to get pregnant and have children , help people to get life partner immediately etc . Some  people also said same things as my mother said about me . Of course when I was still young , I really don't know anything about this . But since I had some vision by dreamed before things happen in real and finally it s happen , I start to ask to my self : is it true what people talk about me that I really have a gift ?

Before things happen in real and finally it s happen such as before I got divorced , I had a dream a woman from my ex husband relative gave me letter of divorce . It 's a bit strange for me . I never thought I will got divorced lol . But it's happened . A mother from my ex husband didn't like me since the beginning because of many things ( I like to work rather then stay at home with them , I still had many contacts of my links of works and clients which is she and my sister in law said : don't let Berlian more shine then my brother in career. Etc etc etc ) . They had lawyer and I had lawyer too for my side . What made me couldn't say anything is when I had a dream , my lawyer wear white shirt  , sit on the right side and suddenly my mother in law entered to the court without permission with his mother wear blue clothe it's really happened in reality . All . My lawyer sit on the right side , wear white shirt and suddenly my mother in law entered to the court room with blue clothe . Finally he choosed his family . I think it's much better like that then stay with me . His parents not allow him to work because they are very rich family in my city .

It s continue again with another visions visions visions for my country Indonesia and other country. Started from bomb at JW Marriot Jakarta ( someone put a bomb between flowers at lobby hotel ) , Bomb Bali in 2002 ( I had vision about this on April 2002 and it's happened on Oct 2002 ) , mud Lapindo in East Java ( Sidoarjo ) , etc . 

At the beginning , I don't feel proud to have all this visions . It's scare me and other people around me  think I am a crazy woman , I got cursed from generation to generation and 1000 hurt words to me . By the time , I can understand now that God not choose everybody to be a messenger of Him . I should accept my self . I should get used to be alone . No family around me . No ex husband . No ex boyfriend . No best friend . No friend . Because some people who has a supra natural explained me , not everybody can be around me . For people who has no same energy as me and no have pure heart with me , they will go by them self for many reasons . We came to this world alone we will die alone to enter into the grave , so I will keep continue the journey of my life with this gift from God 

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