The user

If love was an object, I abused it.

I used to call him babe. He was my everything: my end and my beginning.

I used to tell my friends how he loves me. How he was different and how miss him when he's gone.

I used to laugh, remembering our time whether we were loud or silent.

I used to cry when he wasn't near. It was anxious to have him far from my heart.

I used to sleep with him as my last thought.

I used to pray for him to get better because I think his bike hates him.

I used to wonder if he'd gotten better or not.

I used to wait everyday just to have a minute to talk to him.

I used to get jealous of everyone because I thought they would take him away.

I used to get hurt when we would argue.

I used to get butterflies when he noticed the small things about me which nobody ever paid attention to.

I used to feel happy when he was mine.

I used to buy him gifts because it's my love language.

I used to get on his nerves because it was funny how he would give the same attitude back.

I used to think he was happy too.

I used to think he could handle me, so I stayed the same.

I used to think that he loved me more.

I used to think it was never going to end.

I used to think overthinking was ok with him.

I used to fail to keep healthy when we fought.

I used to like when he would kiss me hard on the lips.

I used to love the 3 kisses rule on the cheeks.

I used to hug tight because I had never hugged someone for this long before.

I used to ignore when he talked to other girls because he Said they were only friends.

I used to do all that because I loved you.

I used to be a mess,, but he would always make it right.

I used to heal faster because he made it hurt less.

I used to stop skipping meals because he was always supervising.

I used to get better because I thought he loved me back.

I used to feel safe because he waited one year to be with me.

I used to be ok.

I used to be alright.

I used to be alive inside.

I used to be louder.

I used to live for him.

I used to do a lot.

He says all I did was use him...

Yes I used to love him.

Maybe one day I'll stop using him but if loving as someone is synonym to using someone, then I don't think he will ever stop being used by me.

I know we are helpless, but I didn't know being helpless meant giving up on each other.

I forgot about ever having you back but if you see this, just know that I'm sorry for using you. I'm sorry for loving you. I also have a question... Why love me if at the end when you leave, you're cold as ice and as dry as a desert?

what did I do wrong?

Maybe you really didn't like the fact that I used you but it's never gonna change because if using means loving then I'm never going to stop loving you.

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