I’m a fucking bitch

Well whatever

Not like anyone’s going to see this

Why am I avoiding writing about it?

It’s literally fucking nothing

Yet I still can’t bring myself too

What is this? Fucking trauma

Trauma from just being appropriately punished for what I did wrong?

Damn I really am hopeless

Stop fucking around

Just type it

Is it so hard for you to accept that?

Did I finally get a reality check?

Can’t accept my problems?

Well I’d gladly change every little detail about myself

I want to

Can I start over?

Fucking delusional too

Tell me what isn’t wrong with me

Haha

I’m so fucking pathetic

I’m so fucking tired

So damn tired

Let’s lay it out

I didn’t bring my register

She told me well in my sensitive ass heart scolded me saying where my register was

I say I’ll do it in the page and stick it

She says that’s not for me to decide

And she very clearly said to bring our registers

She tells me to get up from my seat and get out

Obviously I freeze for a bit

Then she’s likee just get out

I get up taking my register page so I could do the work thinking I’ll just stand outside the classroom

She tells me to leave it

To get out and go to the admin office

Get them to call my mother

And tell her to bring the fucking register to school

Now as shitty of a student I’ve been

Never has a teacher had to call my mother

Fucking hell

With my tears right now

I could probably solve any water shortage in the world

Why am I acting like this

There isn’t even anyone here to seek attention from

Why am I curling up

Breathing unevenly

Crying so fucking real

Like this shit actually hurt me

So feeling like I was fucking wasting the time of my classmates

I want out to the admin office

Bro they were talking with someone

I walked around so fucking uncomfortably

I did this weird fucking thing I read somewhere

To breathe in for 4secs and exhale for 8secs

Bro I couldn’t even do that properly

I finally mustered up the tiniest bit of courage

I’m a fucking coward I know

I barely started out saying that I had forgotten my

register

When he told me to talk to the other person in the

office and went off

I felt like a fucking idiot

Well I was

He’s like a main administrator

Why would he listen to this shit

So anyways after trying and failing that weird inhale exhale thingy

I finally said to the guy excuse me

And told him that I’d forgotten my history register and that the teacher had told me to go to the admin office and tell them to call my mother

He asked the teachers name

The way I fucking buffered

I couldn’t even tell him the name of my fucking teaher

Who had been teaching me for months

Well to be fair I sounded like I was on the verge of crying

Wtf does that even mean?

To be fair? lol go die

And I very much sounding like a fucking about to cry bitch told him my number

And he told me he’d call her and to go back to class

That’s what I did

I went to class

She said did you do the call or something like that and will she be bringing it

lol my memory of this is a bit hazy

I said that she wouldn’t be able to come she’s too busy

And she went in the most scoffish like she could

believe it loudly - did she say that?

And I went no I just know she’s busy

I guess then or before she was asked if the call

happened

And I told her that they would call her and they’d said I should go to class first

And she was so like scoffish and went- they? How many were there?

Obviously in a fucking broken voice I said just one

She told me to stand inside the classroom

Lean against the door or dance or whatever

Because I had nothing to do in the class anyways

I stood there and bro the feeling of shit was high

I thought that it was deserved which it most definitely was

I mean I hadn’t brought it she has full right to punish me

That was barely a punishment anyways

And also because the whole day I had been wayyy too happy

Excited just too much good

Bro I actually thought that yeah it was too good that’s why

So I just stood there

And with the shit I was feeling

I started ripping off the skin of my finger’s with my other finger’s nails

One layer was completely gone

And taking the easy way out

Instead of continuing

I just pressed my finger on the wound

I dunno what maybe the salts in my sweat or

something

But that stung like hell

When there were a few minutes of class left she just very uncaringly said I could go sit back down

Do I did without a word obviously

God forbid I said some stupid shit again and she said something back

Like genuinely I made up a fully realistic scenario that if I did say to her that like no need when she asked me to sit down she’s look at me with that offended look and say something like you want to keep standing?

Well thankfully we don’t know what happens next

because the bell rang and class over

Yay I guess

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