Prologue

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If I think about my life I haven't done anything extraordinary. If you saw my life you would call it boring. But now my life is over, I'm dying m. I haven't even lived a full life yet and I'm dying. I just turned eighteen yesterday, you would think I'm in school but I dropped out.

My life is filled with misfortune. I'm also an orphan. My parents never wanted me. I was raised in an a church. That was my hell, I got beaten half the time and I was hungry. I got kicked out eventually and took a boy with me named Rome. If you thought my life was bad his was worse. I thought he deserved better so I took him with me.

I work five different jobs. I work at McDonald's, Fun world, Starbucks, Maid cafe, and a bartender. I got an apartment, it was cheap because the person before me died and no one wants a place where someone else died in. I didn't think it was a problem, my life was difficult. I enrolled Rome into school he was 14. He was smart, the smartest person I knew and he deserved to have a chance to hav a pretty decent life.

I hope he has a wonderful life, I hate to leave him. I'm drowning into an abyss. The bottom of a river dark. I find that darkness to be comforting. I know no one is saving me, because my life isn't interesting. I wish, I could restart. If someone was pushed in the water they would panic and scream but, I'm not struggling at all because I don't have a reason to live. I wish I had one but I don't but, I don't want to die. I wanted to see something amazing but I'll never get the chance. I can hold my breath for six minutes. I've never realized how beautiful water is. This beautiful thing is taking my life from me. I feel weightless as if my body is no longer hear. I'm starting to run out of breath. I wonder where I'll go. I never believed in god because of my life because, if he really did exist why is my life like this. The devil I don't believe in him either because this place is hell. You die, you feel the pain of your body literally dying doesn't that sound like hell and people have demons inside them they try to hide it but eventually, they let their true selves show.

If I had a guardian angel there doing one hell of job because I'm dying now, you can take a vacation. I don't know if I should be mad, sad, angry, maybe even disappointed at the fact I'm dying. I never liked anyone or really got the chance to I got bullied a lot for everything. My hair, my eye color, my height I couldn't change anything.

I was pushed into this river. By somebody I I don't even now maybe, some kids thought it would be funny and they realized that I'm not coming up and scared. At least they'll live in interesting life, I know I should hate them but I really don't and I never knew them to hate them. Gosh! I hope Rome can have a good life graduate, go to college become a doctor or whatever the hell he wants to do, get married have kids or not. I just want him to be happy.

When I used to live at the orphanage he was called "Satan's child" because he had dark eyes and light hair. His eyes looked so innocent and pure but he was beaten everyday. No one liked me they said that I was impure because of my face I've been called pretty but not for a good reason. When I was seven I told mother (the nun) that the priest was touching me in weird places and then the she said 'you're impure you're a nasty vile little thing'. I was beaten because of that , I have the scars to prove it. The mother found out she didn't do anything about it and, it got worse every day. I hated myself and started to believe that I was impure.

A new kid arrived at are orphanage. He was the prettiest I've seen besides Rome. The boys name was Killian. He was 14 and I was 10. When he first saw me I think he was mesmerized. ' you're pretty ' he said. I never thoughtvibwpuld hear those words from anyone. I actually thought he was being genuine.

We talked and talked, eventually rumours grew. We had young nuns and they were caught sleeping with a kid. A lot of the kids thought it was Killian, I disagreed. I wanted to believe he was kind. Until he came into my room at night and started touching me like the priest, I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know what was happening at the time but now that I'm older I know that I was molested.

We got into an argument and he told Mother that I was trying to seduce him. I was beaten and I wasn't feed for that. She said ' I always knew you were the impure one not the priest you are the devils child". I didn't trust anyone except for Rome.

six years later I was sixteen. Killian was 20 an adult he wanted to adopt me. I didn't want to be adopted by him. Mother let me spend the day with him, she knew what was going to happen. ' You grew up nice ' He said looking me up and down and I was disgusted by the way he looked at me. He had beautiful face but it couldn't make up for the terrible person he was. His hands moved down my lower backside. I started to shiver. We made it back to his apartment 'This is where you'll live' he said sinisterly.

He started pushing me against the wall and kissed me. I said stop plenty of times he didn't. I grabbed a knife and stabbed his shoulder. "Gahh.. You little bitch I was trying to get you out that hell hole" he panicked.

The blood on my hands made me realize that I was impure. I ran back to the orphanage Killian told Mother and I was beaten basically to death but, I didn't die. I survived I left and took Rome with me. Now I'm drowning so, this is what the end looks like. I wonder if my parents ever knew would they cry, mourn. I won't even have a funeral no one will even find me. Maybe Rome will but they won't find out what happened to me.

I'm running out of breath and time. If there was a way to restart I would.

"You can restart" A voice said. I thought this was a figment of my imagination.

"You can restart" The voice said.

This time I knew I was real.

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