3

I was always very timid. and I have always suffered because of this. no one was ever nice to me. the more you bear, the harder they get. subrata texted me. I wasn't replying at first. he made me reply. he kept constantly. I didn't say anything bad. and he stopped talking to me. I have always been very patient. I never got anything good out of it. men took advantage of this. they were always very harsh with me. he is not texting anymore. I don't know what I should do. why did he even text me the first time? if subir was living in Birnagar, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. but I really don't want to leave everything and go. I can't tell him this. he himself lives far away. what should I do? why did those guys propose me? I can't get them out of my mind. subir is nice. but I will literally have to leave everything. my hometown, parents, relatives, friends, nostalgia. everything. god. you really gave me what I wanted after such a long time. but you gave it in such a way that I can't take it. his dark skin tone. body of a soldier. haircut. he is even younger to me. I am really very sexually attracted to him. very very much. but he says he loves me, wants to marry me. I really don't want to make it exclusive yet. maybe I don't love him. But if I leave, he will hate me. this is the first time I have found someone like this. he is nice to me, loyal to me. but if I make it official, all the guys, sayan, rajib, maybe subrata, they will leave. they will say I have betrayed them. and then if something goes wrong with subir, I have no where to return. those guys will tell everyone. my image will be ruined. I wish subir was from Birnagar. other guys would know without me having to tell them. why did i send friend requests. every request I sent, I brought a problem for myself. I tried to befriend Suman. sayan came. I sent friend request to palash. subir came. I wish I had never sent a request to palash. god. I am so embarrassed. I feel so guilty. I always try to avoid attention. I wanted only one guy in my life. only guy friend, only bestfriend, only lover, only husband, only everything. I don't know why it keeps going the other way. there will be only one guy and I will have to reject the others. I am waiting for some divine intervention. am I crazy? why is it so messed up? god please help me get rid of this confusion. if something extreme happens, then you intervene, it's meaningless. I don't want to regret. please help me. he is obviously interested in me. now if I share sad post, it's a disrespect to him. all I think this is what attracts the players. A vulnerable girl.

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