My Diary
I am very disappointed. I have always been very enthusiastic about love. Furthermore I was so confident that my prince charming would come one day. I kept rejecting guys. I used to do everything I was told to do. They said that if I be a good girl, I will be highly rewarded. And I did. I studied really hard, I stopped talking to guys, I was very particular about my clothes that I won't wear anything revealing. But I didn't get a boyfriend. Rather people started seeing me as a boring person. I gradually lost all my friends. My studies kept getting worse. Even now. I always wanted to date an army officer. I had really high expectations. But I kept getting rejected, deceived, ghosted. As if it's very easy to misbehave with me. As if they know that I am too polite and won't make a scene. Guys are the worse. I really hope that someday all men will vanish from this world. No pain, nothing. Just vanish. I really spent all my life trying the apple of eye for men. I am too desperate. In the end, I only get treated like trash. I could never do the things I wanted. I wanted to be a good girl. I was told a good girl will get a good husband. My father pushed me to be conservative because according to him, it's unsafe for a girl to roam around freely, to mix with guys and also a question mark comes on her character. He used to get very angry even if he saw me talking to a guy when I was in high school. But all my friends got in a relationship since high school. Some broke up, but they found a new one as well. They also have jobs. They used to move around freely. People used to talk bad about them. But who remembers. Now they are well settled with their respective partners. And here Furthermore, I am. Lonely. Father passed away. It's quite ironical. You didn't let me date when I was of age. Now I can't find a guy. Most eligible guys are already in a relationship. The single ones are single for a reason. I keep getting played by them. There's no option left for me. I am 25. I feel so shame. I feel jealous. What has my life come to? I feel jealous when I see girls marrying their high school boyfriends. I don't even have a boyfriend. I really feel bad. I wanted a high fi boyfriend. Such that would burn everyone's eyes. But now I can't even find a good guy. That day a girl was flexing about her high school boyfriend who is an army officer now. So jealous. She is so lucky. Why can't I find such a guy. I give chances to really average guys and still get duped. They ghost me. Reject me. Sometimes start courting my friend.
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