WHEN I LOVED YOU QUIETLY

THE BOY I CAN'T REACH

The classroom buzzed with the usual morning chatter, but for Ren, the world always grew quiet the moment Haru walked in. It wasn’t something he did on purpose—it just happened. The brightness around Haru seemed to mute everything else, like sunlight cutting through fog.

Haru entered the room laughing with his friends, his light brown hair glowing faintly under the morning light. Ren pretended to focus on his notebook, but his eyes moved on their own, drawn toward Haru like a secret habit he couldn’t stop.

A shadow fell across his desk.

“Ren! You forgot your notebook again.” Haru dropped the spiral-bound book onto the desk with a grin. “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached.”

Ren’s heart jumped. “Ah—thank you. Sorry.”

“You say sorry too much,” Haru laughed, taking the seat beside him even though it wasn’t his assigned one. “Seriously, you’d be hopeless without me.”

Ren looked down, the faintest blush tinting his cheeks. If only being close didn’t hurt so much.

He forced a small smile. “I… I guess so.”

Haru leaned over, elbows on the table, watching Ren’s expression with casual warmth. “You didn’t study again, did you?”

Ren shook his head. Actually, he had studied a lot—but he couldn’t exactly say, “I was too distracted thinking about you.”

Before Haru could scold him playfully again, the bell rang, and their teacher walked in. Haru reluctantly returned to his seat, but he turned back at least three times as if checking on Ren just because he could.

Ren knew Haru didn’t mean anything by it. That was the problem. Haru’s kindness wasn’t special—it was simply who he was. Friendly, warm, and easy to love. Ren had learned that a long time ago… and he’d also learned that loving Haru was something he needed to keep buried deep inside.

During break time, Haru cornered him again.

“Hey! Walk with me to the vending machines.”

Ren blinked. “Me? Why?”

“Because you’re my friend,” Haru said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Ren followed him out into the hallway, trying not to stare at how carefree Haru looked as he stretched his arms behind his head. His white uniform shirt lifted slightly, showing a sliver of his waist, and Ren instantly looked away.

They reached the vending machines. Haru tapped the glass. “Which drink do you want?”

“I’m fine,” Ren muttered.

“You say that every time.” Haru pressed a button anyway. A can clattered down—Ren’s favorite flavor. Haru held it out with a knowing smile. “Here.”

Ren hesitated. “You didn’t have to…”

Haru stepped closer, gently pushing the can into Ren’s hand. “Ren. You don’t need a reason to accept something from a friend.”

Ren’s throat tightened. That’s exactly why it hurts, he thought.

Haru didn’t notice the silent ache. He just laughed lightly, bumping Ren’s shoulder with his own.

“You’re weird, but I like hanging out with you.”

Ren froze. Haru walked ahead, turning back with a cheerful grin.

“Come on! Don’t fall behind!”

Ren followed slowly, gripping the cold can in his hand.

If only you knew, he thought.