May be it's not what I choose to be

Chat Log — 10:36 PM, between Mira and Arjun

Arjun: You disappeared all day.

Mira: I was there. Just… invisible.

Arjun: That’s not the same. You didn’t reply to any messages.

Mira: Because every word felt heavy. Even “hi.”

Arjun: Heavy? It’s just two letters.

Mira: Two letters can carry oceans when you’re drowning.

Arjun: You’re drowning again.

Mira: May be it’s not what I choose to be.

Arjun: What do you mean?

Mira: I didn’t choose this version of me. The one who hesitates, doubts, second‑guesses. It feels like someone else wrote my script.

Arjun: And you’re just acting it out?

Mira: Exactly.

Arjun: Then who’s the writer?

Mira: Society. Family. Expectations. The invisible hands that push you into molds.

Arjun: That’s too easy. You can’t blame everything on “them.”

Mira: I’m not blaming. I’m observing. May be it’s not what I can ignore.

Arjun: But you can resist.

Mira: Resistance takes strength. And may be it’s not what I could change.

Arjun: You’re giving up before the fight.

Mira: Or acknowledging the fight is unwinnable.

Arjun: That’s defeatist.

Mira: That’s realistic.

Arjun: Let me ask you something. If you could rewrite your script, what would it say?

Mira: It would start with silence. Then a line: “I am not what you think I am.”

Arjun: That’s powerful.

Mira: But may be it’s not sad as it meant to be.

Arjun: You twist even your rebellion into doubt.

Mira: Because doubt is my language.

Arjun: Then teach me to speak it.

Mira: Fine. Repeat after me: “May be it’s the only thing I can do.”

Arjun: May be it’s the only thing I can do.

Mira: Good. Now feel the weight.

Arjun: It feels like surrender.

Mira: Or survival.

Arjun: You know, sometimes I think you enjoy being trapped.

Mira: May be it’s not in my likings.

Arjun: Then why stay?

Mira: Because leaving requires certainty. And certainty terrifies me.

Arjun: You’re addicted to “maybe.”

Mira: Maybe.

Arjun: That’s not funny.

Mira: It’s not meant to be.

Arjun: Okay, let’s test something. Imagine tomorrow you wake up free. No job, no expectations, no masks. What do you do?

Mira: I’d sit by the window. Watch the sky change colors. Drink tea slowly.

Arjun: That’s it?

Mira: Yes. Because may be it’s not interesting to chase more.

Arjun: But isn’t that boring?

Mira: Boring is peace when chaos is your norm.

Arjun: You’re redefining peace as emptiness.

Mira: Or emptiness as peace.

Arjun: Do you ever think you’re overcomplicating things?

Mira: May be it’s all in my head.

Arjun: Exactly. You’re building labyrinths inside your mind.

Mira: And wandering them keeps me alive.

Arjun: But you never find the exit.

Mira: Maybe exits don’t exist.

Arjun: That’s tragic.

Mira: Or poetic.

Arjun: You know what frustrates me?

Mira: Tell me.

Arjun: You keep saying “may be,” but deep down you already know. You know what you love, what you hate, what you want. You just refuse to admit it.

Mira: Because admitting makes it real. And real means responsibility.

Arjun: Responsibility isn’t a curse.

Mira: It feels like one.

Arjun: Then you’ll stay in limbo forever.

Mira: May be that’s safer.

Arjun: Safer doesn’t mean happier.

Mira: Happiness is overrated.

Arjun: That’s a lie.

Mira: Or a defense.

Arjun: Let me be blunt. Do you want me in your life?

Mira: …

Arjun: Don’t dodge.

Mira: May be it’s not what I choose to be.

Arjun: That’s not an answer.

Mira: It’s the only one I have.

Arjun: You’re pushing me away.

Mira: I’m protecting you from my uncertainty.

Arjun: I don’t need protection. I need truth.

Mira: Truth is dangerous.

Arjun: Lies are worse.

Mira: Lies at least comfort.

Arjun: Comfort built on sand collapses.

Mira: Then let it collapse.

Arjun: You’re exhausting.

Mira: May be it’s not what I can ignore.

Arjun: Stop hiding behind that phrase.

Mira: I can’t. It’s my shield.

Arjun: Shields block connection.

Mira: And prevent wounds.

Arjun: But wounds heal. Isolation doesn’t.

Mira: You think I’m isolated?

Arjun: You’re surrounded by people but alone inside.

Mira: That’s accurate.

Arjun: Then let me in.

Mira: May be it’s not what I could change.

Arjun: You’re choosing the cage.

Mira: Or the cage chose me.

Arjun: You know what? I’m tired of “maybe.”

Mira: Then stop listening.

Arjun: I can’t. Because I care.

Mira: Care is dangerous too.

Arjun: Not caring is worse.

Mira: May be it’s not sad as it meant to be.

Arjun: You keep repeating that.

Mira: Because repetition makes it real.

Arjun: Or makes it meaningless.

Mira: Both.

Arjun: I’ll say this once. If you keep living in “maybe,” you’ll lose me.

Mira: May be losing you is what I fear most.

Arjun: Then prove it. Choose me.

Mira: May be it’s not what I choose to be.

Arjun: Then I don’t know how long I can wait.

Mira: I understand.

Chat ends — 12:04 AM. Mira stares at the silence, realizing her shield of “maybe” is cracking. She wonders if uncertainty is protection or prison, and whether she has the courage to step beyond it.

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