Chapter 3

Just like that the marriage I had been looking forward to.. ended. It was the only hope of seeing him after nearly 3 years.

After school we seldom met. We didn't have much opportunity to. I thought since our houses are nearby and are good family friends we would meet often. But after school we both got into college in far away places and couldn't get a glance at each other. On the rare occasions, where could meet each other- either I won't be able to make it or he won't be. It was like fate was not on my side.

After school I thought I would forget him. I thought he was just like any other friend I had and I would get over him. But no I hadn't. I realised that I have been lying to myself in my first year of college.

In college I had a pretty big friend circle and it was a girls only gang. We used to play all sort of games and would fool around once in a while since we can't get the pressure of the med school to affect our lives.

*****

Once I played truth and dare with them. There were six of us including my roommates Druvika and Mahima. There was only a single rule in our games- never lie to each other. We can opt to not answer but at the risk of being treated as if you trust them. It may seem toxic, but it's just how we are including myself. Girl friendships are always twisted.

The game started and initially it was all questions like

' Your celebrity crush?'

' Favourite boy on campus?'

' When was your first kiss?'

But when it was my turn, things got a bit deeper.

" Who was your first love ? " The question seemed easy to answer.

" Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have my first love yet!" I answered confidently.

There were disapproving sounds from many of them but some believed it since I have a bit of female focussed thoughts.

" No, honestly I don't." I insisted.

They were going to move over, then one of my friends Diya said " What about Ishaan? " My lips tightened and my body froze a bit.

She knew Ishaan through some mutual friends and is from our same place. She has heard about our petty fights and ego clashes. But, I don't know what made her think that I had a crush on him.

" Ishaan, seriously! He is the last boy I would fall for. What is wrong with you?" I smiled. I didn't know I had feelings for him.

" Are you sure. Cause your pitch rises whenever you lie. Remember that time when you lied to the professor that we were late to class as there was a huge line in the mess. " Another one of my friends said leaving me completely defenseless.

" No guys, believe me! " I tried to plead.

" Okay, we trust you. " Mahima said.

That night when I put off the light to sleep Druvika asked.

" Are you sure you don't love Ishaan? "

" Why are you asking again? I told you I don't." I was done with that question. Why would I love a boy, who would rather pick a fight with me than talk to me?

" Okay, but hear me out. You told me he is tall, has brown eyes, is more on the lean side, has a warm smile, and a nice personality even though you don't talk much. " Druvi said. Mahima raised her head wondering where the conversation was going.

" Mm" I nodded, not at all ready to hear the next part.

" Look the boy you said was your type - what was his name again , Madhav right ?"

" Yeah !"

" I get it he kind of looks like Ishaan. You said you liked his looks but when he approached you, you didn't even talk to him. You just flat-out rejected him, even though you could have stayed as friends. " Mahima said, her face happy to connect all the dots. But the dots in my mind are all jumbled not clear enough to sort out.

" No, you got it wrong. I didn't like his personality and that is why I rejected him"

" You didn't even know him much, he told you to give him a chance at least as friends, but you were adamant on keeping him away. I almost thought you hated boys back then." Druvi said in a rush.

" Well I don't know why, but I didn't want to be friends with him "

" Like you already have someone in your mind " Mahima added.

" No I don't have anyone in my mind." My voice was starting to rise.

" Okay so calm down. It's okay if you don't want to tell us but don't lie to yourself." Mahima said pulling her bedsheet over her head.

" I will tell you a simple trick if you want to know if you like him or not. I don't know if it works but let's try. " Dhruvi said.

" Okay. " I can't deny them ever cause they are literally my mental support in college. They were the ones who got me out of my homesickness. Moreover, I also wanted to know what this lingering feeling between us was!

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