Chapter 4

"Well there are four things. Firstly- when you thing of him what is the first thing you remember or what is the overall vibe - is it something positive or negative" Druvi said dramatically.

" Come on that's too vague" Mahima teased her.

" Nia, trust me and answer it. " She looked at me.

" I think it's positive. It's not like he had done anything to hurt me." I said

" Mm. Next - Do you think about him often, even when you are busy? "

" No.. Why should I think about him?" I said, my tone intense.

" Okay the next thing.." Druvi continued but was interrupted by Mahima " No, wait. You do think about him! Remember when I told you about the boots I liked and you said Ishaan has a similar one. And when we were on our trip and saw one of your classmates, you couldn't stop asking him about Ishaan."

" Yeah when you knew he won't be there for some family function. You were sad. " Druvi talked excitedly "Moreover you would always talk about him whenever the topic is 'boys' - Ishaan would be like this, he would do that and how you hate him. It was suspicious like why would you hate him just because he won't initiate a conversation with you?." Druvi added.

" Yeah it's suspicious - so the answer is yes!" Mahima said with a thumbs up mocking me and reality hit me like a storm.

Yeah why did I hate him? Just because he won't initiate a conversation with me?, and why the hell do I hesitate to start a conversation with him. It's almost like I want him to talk to me. I want him to notice me.

No I don't like where this is going.

" So the next thing - If you could do something just to meet him, would you do it? I mean, you know he's going to be there, and that kind of motivates you to go. "

" I don't get it exactly! Well..., I don't think I want to see him or anything but I do get kind of excited to go to places where he will be. Isn't it because I haven't seen him in a while. "

" No, Nia...I think you do have some feelings for him. So it's a yes again. Now it's the last and most important question. If the answer is yes then it is one hundred percentage sure that you love him. "

" Stop being dramatic and just ask." I said with a smile, hiding my panic.

" Well. Close your eyes."

" Why? "

" Just close them!" I closed my eyes.

" Think about him, he is wearing a white shirt and blue jeans and is standing close to a girl. The girl is not you okay." Her jiggle reached my ears.

"She looks really pretty- silky hair, a fabulous dress, and suddenly he took her hand and leaned close to her. She is his girlfriend! Think something like that for a minute. I have set the plot so let your creative mind do the rest. Okay! You can imagine something intense also." She added. The room went silent.

I could see him wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. They know I like this style, so they did it intentionally. Yeah he is standing there with someone. Someone.... who will it be? Then a face came into my mind - Sasha, she was a girl from our school. Ishaan used to date her. She is standing next to him, their hands locked, he leaned into her and whispered something into her ear. She smiled and gave a little nudge to him. His lips curled into a warm smile, a smile that I would rarely get! He moved closer, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

No! stop it!

I feel breathless and sharp pain in my chest, light a tightening. Is it just another episode of my asthma? Did I got a dust exposure today? No! Then why? Why I am feeling breathless and why am I irritated, almost like I am sad.

" Anika, how are you? " The voice pierced through my thoughts. It was a bit of a formal enquiry.

" Me? I am fine, why? What's wrong? I don't feel anything! I am sure I don't like him." I said my voice betraying my shaken feelings.

" Nia.., you don't look well. " Mahima said causiously.

" No I am fine ! " I shouted.

Dhruvi moved close to me and hugged me. I tried to push her away, but something hot rolled down my cheeks and I could no longer bear it in. The feelings I had buried deep within me - one I didn't even know existed - had already taken root in my heart.

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