Prologue

I keep in mind my dad's words.

Stay put, no need to show yourself and embarrass all of us.

He is an omega, he gave birth to me, but he never loved me like he did with my siblings.

I am the oldest one, the most mature, the kind and understanding, I can give my younger siblings my portion of candy, I can let them sleep in my bed, when they have friends over, I can do their chores.

My father's unknown, my dad had a one night stand with a man he didn't know, a decision he regrets till this day, but he decided to keep me, I wonder why.

Later, he married another man, they met each other in a small café in our neighborhood and instantly fell in love.

The man didn't care that I was in the picture, he smiled at me and treated me fairly well, but I could tell he wasn't my father.

I wasn't his blood, we never really got close. He was always polite to me, always tried to treat me the same as his children, but he couldn't.

My dad was smitten, when the babies, my siblings, were born, twins.

After that, I got no attention at all. I was taught to suck it up. Never let them know your feelings, if you're in pain, if you need anything, if you feel nauseous, nothing, just stay quiet.

I learnt how to make my own food, when I was nine.

I walked to school alone by myself, since I was ten.

No one questioned my maturity. They simply didn't care.

When it was revealed that I was an omega, no one said a word, just so what?

I worked my ass off every day to earn money for my suppressants. I needed them, I needed to stop my heat, I needed to get through it.

It didn't help most of the time.

My dad never told me how to get through it with less pain, he never told me anything, even if he was an omega as well.

But when one of his babies turned out to be an omega as well, he could gladly die for him.

At that moment, I knew there was no turning back, he would never love me as much as he loved them.

I would never truly be a family to him, to none of them.

I learnt to keep my mouth shut, to never talk, no one noticed anyway.

They didn't see me slip away, my dad acted like he cared about me, he really did, but he didn't know how much his words hurt.

He didn't know he was destroying me, ruining me.

Killing me.

He always appeared as my support, he told me to lean on him, that I'm too boring, too quiet, with no friends.

That I needed to stand out more.

Easy for him to say.

I always smiled, never let him know about me.

Because he never asked.

No one ever asked me about my feelings, about my well-being, about how I fell.

So I stopped caring, I stopped going to family dinners, I stopped smiling.

No one noticed any time soon.

No one asked me about school, if I was bullied or not, they just saw my grades drop.

The yelled, they said I was a disappointment.

Yes, yes, I was. And I still am.

But not the way you think, I am disappointed in myself, in my choices, in my life.

In my end.

To be continued...

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