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Obsessed Manic

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Obsessed Manic

manic

Chapter 1 – Manic

Manic… manic.

The word echoed in my head like footsteps in an abandoned corridor.

It was just loneliness in those nights—thick, suffocating loneliness. Nights where I tried to fill my own emptiness, yet every attempt only made it louder. The halls stretched endlessly, silent but heavy, and every room I entered felt… unavailable. As if something invisible had already taken space there.

And that something—

Was her.

My obsession with her goes beyond.

Beyond sense. Beyond control. Beyond whatever I used to be before she came.

She doesn’t know.

She doesn’t know how much deeper I am missing her. Deep down in my heart, there’s a hollow space—cold, endless—and somehow, everything inside me tries to fill it with her. Every thought bends toward her. Every breath feels incomplete without her in it.

So I try.

I try to live my own life, to do my own thing, to keep my focus on myself. I move through the day like nothing is wrong.

But today…

Today was heavy.

It was hard to keep up with my own flow.

Because she was there—in fragments.

Her scent, soft and lingering, like something that refuses to leave. Her flowy curly hair, catching light in a way that made time slow down. Shine Alano… even thinking her name feels like touching something I shouldn’t.

Her complete existence brought down my ego.

If I hadn’t met her, I would have stayed untouched. Unshaken. Whole in my own pride. But now… even the smallest thing about her tangles me. Like something tiny, almost insignificant—

A little squirrel—

Yet powerful enough to shake my entire being.

It made her heart feel so small.

And somehow, it destroyed mine.

The day she came…

Was the end of my devil.

Or maybe—

The beginning of something worse.

She wasn’t meant to be tamed like this.

No…

I was the one who got tamed.

By her presence.

By the way she existed without trying.

London feels different now.

Colder.

Wider.

Empty in a way it never was before.

Sometimes I think… it shouldn’t even be called London anymore.

It should be called Shine Alano.

Because everything I see, everything I feel—

Leads back to her.

Her smile.

Soft. Unaware.

Her brown eyes, holding something calm that I can never reach.

Her existence…

It makes my breath stutter, like my lungs forget how to work unless she’s near.

Loving you from the outside hurts.

It burns quietly.

Because you laugh—

So innocently.

Without knowing how it triggers something inside me. Something restless. Something I can’t name.

“Shine Alano…” I whisper into the silence.

“My little squirrel.”

I remember that day.

You came with sleepy eyes, soft and distant, while I stood there—

Quiet.

Alone.

Surrounded by my demons.

Only my demons.

And you walked in like you didn’t see them.

Or worse—

Like you weren’t afraid.

With everything you are…

You changed me.

You made me something else.

A man forced to evolve.

To feel.

To break.

To become something I don’t recognize anymore.

What game is this, Alano?

What have you done to me?

Because I’m already lost in it.

I look at you through my phone.

A still image.

Frozen.

But alive enough to pull me in.

I study every detail—the curve of your expression, the way your presence fills even a screen. And there’s a quiet smile on my face… something hidden.

Something that wants more.

It feels like fire in water.

Impossible.

Burning where it shouldn’t.

Your existence drags me under, deeper and deeper, until I can’t tell where I end and you begin. Every part of me wants to close that distance—to leave no space between us.

And you don’t even know.

You don’t know how closely I watch.

Every movement.

Every shift.

Every moment you exist without me.

“You don’t know…” I murmur, my voice barely breaking the silence.

How much power you hold.

How much of me is already gone.

I try to hold onto control.

But even my thoughts betray me.

They return to you.

Always to you.