SIMON

“Look at this photo, Simon. Isn’t she pretty?”

Simon glanced at the photograph.

A young girl with rosette-shaped hair smiled while looking off to the side. Judging by the angle, the picture had clearly been taken without her noticing. It was the sort of angle that made most people look like startled pigeons.

Yet somehow, she pulled it off.

Pretty was an understatement.

He nodded.

### The Night Before

**MOTHER:**

“Simon, this suit will look wonderful on you.”

**SIMON:**

“Why are you going through all this trouble, Mother? I already told you—I’m not wearing a suit.”

**MOTHER:**

“What do you mean, you're not wearing it? I searched half the market to find the perfect suit, and you're rejecting my gift?”

Simon rubbed his forehead.

This conversation was heading exactly where he expected.

And unfortunately, his mother had enough ammunition to wage a small war.

**MOTHER:**

“I know you don't love me. You love your animals more than me.”

There it was.

**MOTHER:**

“You know how much I hate snakes, yet I still allow that thing to live in my house. Every time I see it slithering around your room, my entire skin tries to leave my body. And this is how you repay my kindness? By refusing to wear a suit?”

Simon sighed.

**SIMON:**

“Fine, Mother. I'll wear the suit.”

Her face brightened instantly.

**SIMON:**

“But don't ask me to shave or cut my hair. I'm not trying to impress anyone. If I'm marrying someone, she should be the kind of girl who cares less about appearances.”

**MOTHER:**

“Yes, yes, fine.”

She studied his face.

**MOTHER:**

“Although I do wish you'd shave. Right now, you look exactly like your baboon.”

**SIMON:**

“Don't insult my baboon.”

**MOTHER:**

“The ugly one.”

**SIMON:**

“He has feelings.”

**MOTHER:**

“And apparently they're more important than mine.”

**SIMON:**

“Correct.”

His mother stared at him.

**MOTHER:**

“You know, most sons would deny that.”

**SIMON:**

“Most sons don't own baboons.”

For a moment, silence hung in the room.

Then she laughed.

**MOTHER:**

“Who can ever win an argument with you?”

She kissed his forehead.

**MOTHER:**

“Good night, dear. I'm excited for tomorrow.”

She reached the door and paused.

**MOTHER:**

“And please keep your bedroom door closed. Even if you're only going to the toilet.”

**SIMON:**

“Why?”

**MOTHER:**

“Because your snake terrifies me. I swear that creature can smell fear from miles away.”

Simon nodded.

Honestly, the snake probably could.

---

### The Next Day

Simon emerged wearing the suit.

His mother gasped dramatically.

**MOTHER:**

“Wow. The suit fits perfectly.”

She circled him.

**MOTHER:**

“Your body looks like a sculpture.”

She pointed upward.

**MOTHER:**

“It's just the head that's causing problems.”

**SIMON:**

“No, Mom.”

**MOTHER:**

“I haven't even said anything yet.”

**SIMON:**

“You were about to.”

**MOTHER:**

“Fine. But have you considered—”

**SIMON:**

“No.”

**MOTHER:**

“Just a little trim—”

**SIMON:**

“No.”

**MOTHER:**

“A tiny shave—”

**SIMON:**

“Still no.”

She folded her arms.

**MOTHER:**

“You're exhausting.”

**SIMON:**

“Genetics.”

---

### At Shanel's House

**AYUMI:**

“What if you end up liking him?”

**SHANEL:**

“Impossible.”

**AYUMI:**

“What if he turns out to be the most handsome man you've ever seen?”

Shanel snorted.

**SHANEL:**

“Don't be ridiculous. You know I'm not that kind of girl.”

**AYUMI:**

“I know.”

She paused thoughtfully.

**AYUMI:**

“Although it would absolutely destroy me with jealousy if you ended up with a handsome guy.”

Shanel gave her a dead stare.

**AYUMI:**

“So for the sake of our friendship, I hope he's ugly.”

**SHANEL:**

“Ayumi.”

**AYUMI:**

“I'm joking.”

A voice echoed from downstairs.

**SHANEL'S MOTHER:**

“Ayumi! Can you help me before the guests arrive?”

**AYUMI:**

“Coming, Aunty!”

She turned back.

**AYUMI:**

“Good luck. If the meeting gets awkward, pretend you have dysentery.”

**SHANEL:**

“I'd rather die.”

**AYUMI:**

“Fair enough. Dying does sound more dignified.”

---

Shanel's mother had spent the entire morning preparing.

A magnificent tablecloth covered the dining table. Elegant sofa covers had appeared from nowhere. Delicious food filled the kitchen.

An enormous Arabian Nights-style rug occupied the living room.

Ayumi was convinced the rug hadn't existed yesterday.

It was entirely possible that Clara had summoned it from another dimension.

After everything was ready, she returned upstairs.

**AYUMI:**

“Your mother is trying really hard to impress these people.”

Shanel remained silent.

**AYUMI:**

“You're lucky, you know.”

Shanel looked up.

**AYUMI:**

“If guests come to our house, my father usually greets them while drunk.”

She paused.

**AYUMI:**

“Actually, if it's a good day, he's only mildly drunk.”

Still no response.

Ayumi flicked Shanel's ear.

**AYUMI:**

“Hello? Anybody home?”

**SHANEL:**

“I have so many thoughts right now that answering that question feels impossible.”

Before Ayumi could reply—

**SHANEL'S MOTHER (calling):**

“Shanel! Are you dressed? They're here!”

Ayumi rushed to the window.

**AYUMI:**

“Let me see!”

She pulled back the curtain.

**AYUMI:**

“Whoa.”

Her eyes widened.

**AYUMI:**

“That car looks expensive.”

She leaned closer.

**AYUMI:**

“No wonder your mother agreed to this meeting.”

A moment passed.

**AYUMI:**

“Two people are getting out.”

Another moment.

**AYUMI:**

“The woman is gorgeous. Must be the guy's mother.”

More silence.

**AYUMI:**

“The man is hairy, muscular, and looks like he wrestles bears for fun.”

She frowned.

**AYUMI:**

“That must be the father.”

Another minute passed.

Then another.

**AYUMI:**

“Wait.”

She squinted.

**AYUMI:**

“That's it?”

**SHANEL:**

“What?”

**AYUMI:**

“Only the parents.”

**SHANEL:**

“What do you mean?”

**AYUMI:**

“Where's the handsome guy?”

---

The front door opened.

A beautiful woman entered.

**SERA:**

“My dear!”

The two women immediately embraced.

**CLARA:**

“It's been so long!”

**SERA:**

“Fifteen years!”

**CLARA:**

“Yes. Fifteen years.”

Her eyes shifted.

**CLARA:**

“And who's this?”

**SERA:**

“My son.”

**CLARA:**

“Your son?”

She blinked.

**CLARA:**

“Oh my goodness! Where are my manners? Nice to meet you!”

She smiled brightly.

**CLARA:**

“Just wait until you see my daughter. She's been excited since yesterday.”

At that exact moment, Shanel entered the room.

Ayumi nearly choked.

Shanel nearly stopped breathing.

Because the mysterious suitor wasn't missing.

He had simply been mistaken for someone's father.

---

**CLARA:**

“Come here, dear. This is Simon—the young man I've been telling you about.”

Ayumi and Shanel froze.

Mentally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

**CLARA (through clenched teeth):**

“Don't. Embarrass. Me.”

---

**SERA:**

“Simon, come sit here beside me. Why are you sitting all the way over there?”

Simon obediently moved approximately six inches.

**SERA:**

“Closer.”

He moved another inch.

**SERA:**

“Perfect.”

It wasn't.

**SERA:**

“My son is very shy. It takes him a while to warm up to people.”

**CLARA:**

“He seems quiet.”

**SERA:**

“He's always like that. Even though he's on television.”

**CLARA:**

“Television?”

**SERA:**

“He hosts a reality show called *Finding Rare Species*.”

Ayumi's eyes widened.

**AYUMI:**

“Wait, seriously?”

**SERA:**

“Discovery Channel.”

**AYUMI:**

“Oh.”

She looked at Simon.

Then at his beard.

Then at Simon again.

Suddenly the beard made perfect sense.

---

**SERA:**

“He's quite famous.”

**CLARA:**

“Oh wow.”

**SERA:**

“He even won a Booker Prize for his book *Let Rare Species Be Free*.”

**CLARA:**

“You're joking!”

**SERA:**

“No.”

**CLARA:**

“I need his autograph.”

**SERA:**

“Careful. His ego is already big enough.”

The two mothers laughed.

Simon looked as if he would rather be studying moss.

---

Meanwhile, Shanel and Ayumi exchanged glances.

**AYUMI (whispering):**

“You know... now that I'm looking properly...”

**SHANEL:**

“No.”

**AYUMI:**

“He's actually not bad-looking.”

**SHANEL:**

“Ayumi.”

**AYUMI:**

“Okay, okay. He desperately needs a trim.”

**SHANEL:**

“Ayumi.”

**AYUMI:**

“But the face underneath all that hair has potential.”

**SHANEL:**

“Ayumi.”

**AYUMI:**

“And maybe some jewelry.”

**SHANEL:**

“Stop talking.”

---

**SERA:**

“So what does Shanel do?”

**SHANEL:**

“I—”

**CLARA:**

“She helps me at my shop and handles many household responsibilities.”

Shanel slowly turned toward her mother.

That was a lie.

A bold lie.

A professional lie.

The sort of lie that deserved an award.

She looked at Ayumi.

Ayumi shook her head in admiration.

**AYUMI (whispering):**

“I never knew your mother could lie with such confidence.”

---

**SERA:**

“How wonderful. I'd love someone like that around the house.”

She turned to Simon.

**SERA:**

“Wouldn't you agree?”

Simon stared into the distance.

Possibly at a wall.

Possibly at a memory.

Possibly at an endangered frog.

Nobody knew.

---

**CLARA:**

“I think we should leave them alone.”

**SERA:**

“Oh, yes!”

**CLARA:**

“We're doing all the talking.”

**SERA:**

“Let's go to the kitchen.”

**CLARA:**

“I prepared plenty of food.”

**SERA:**

“Wonderful!”

The two women immediately stood.

So did Ayumi.

**SHANEL:**

“No!”

Everyone paused.

**SHANEL:**

“I mean... why are you leaving?”

**CLARA:**

“To give you two privacy.”

**SHANEL:**

“We don't need privacy.”

**SERA:**

“That's exactly what people who need privacy say.”

**SHANEL:**

“No, seriously—”

She grabbed Ayumi's wrist.

**SHANEL (desperately):**

“Stay.”

Ayumi gently removed her hand.

Like a nurse removing a patient's grip before surgery.

**AYUMI:**

“You'll be fine.”

**SHANEL:**

“I won't.”

**AYUMI:**

“You will.”

**SHANEL:**

“I really won't.”

**AYUMI:**

“Good luck.”

Traitor.

Absolute traitor.

And with that, the three women practically sprinted from the room, leaving Simon and Shanel alone.

The silence that followed was so thick it could have been served as dessert.

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