Not a stalker

There was an awkward silence.

For a couple of minutes, they both sat, looking elsewhere. Shanel stared at the painting she had seen a thousand times.

She was deep in thought. As the host, I should be the one to start the conversation... but as a man, shouldn't he be the one to take the lead? If I speak first, will it seem like I’m interested in him?

“Why are you looking at my suit?” he asked suddenly.

“What?” Shanel responded, startled.

“It’s a gift from my mother. Just so you know.”

I definitely do not want to know, she thought to herself. And what’s with the suit question? Of all things, that’s what he chooses to talk about? I wasn’t even looking at his suit... or was I?

“The suit is beautiful,” she said, forcing a compliment.

“The Arabian Nights rug is beautiful. I like ancient things,” he said.

“Huh?” she asked.

He pointed at the rug. “Oh,” she said, “thank you!”

Where did that come from? she thought, glancing at the rug.

“Do you like animals?” he asked, unexpectedly.

“Yes, I love them. They’re so innocent and cute,” she replied. “But... it hurts to keep one. I feel so lonely when they die.”

“I have so many pets at home. You should come and see them one day.”

Shanel’s heart softened. He’s so sweet. He’s not a bad person, she thought. Although... I could never see him as my husband.

“I love adventure. After marriage, we’ll be travelling a lot,” he said, smiling.

She looked at him gently. “Can I please tell you what I’m thinking?”

He looked curious. She hesitated for a moment, then continued. “I know this might sound offensive, and I’m sorry if it does... but I believe you feel the same way. I don’t want to marry you, sir.”

"Simon," he interrupts.

Shanel (ignoring him, too embarrassed to say his name):

"Yes, that... and I know you don’t want this either. So can you please stop the matchmaking and tell our parents that you're not interested in me?"

Simon:

"And why would I do that?"

Shanel blinked in surprise.

"Why would you do that? Isn’t it obvious? We don’t even know each other — this is our first meeting."

Simon:

"We’ll get to know each other after marriage."

Shanel:

"Wait a minute, Mr.—are you somehow interested in me? Because that’s ridiculous."

Simon (yawning, clearly bored):

"I just want this meeting to end."

Shanel:

"Well, I want that too. But the way things are going, we might actually end up married. And I don’t want that. So why don’t you please tell our mothers that you're not interested and you want to go home?"

Simon:

"Why don’t you do that? I’ve already agreed to the marriage."

Shanel:

"What?!" she screamed.

"You don’t even know me!"

Simon:

"I saw your photo."

Shanel:

"My photo?"

Simon:

"Your mother sent it to me."

Shanel (scowling):

"Well, what did that photo show you — my face? Huh? You don’t know my character. I’m the worst possible choice for you, trust me. I don’t know how to cook, I can’t handle household chores, I don’t even know the price of vegetables and stuff. If you live with me, all you’ll eat is fast food. I also sleep really late."

Simon (smirking):

"You’re already thinking about our future. I’m flattered."

Shanel:

"Screw that. I might kill you in your sleep."

Simon:

"I have ways to defend myself."

“Who is this person? Why is he talking like this on our first meeting?” she said to no one in particular, frustrated.

“Aren’t you being a bit too open with me? That’s a major red flag, Mr. You're like one of those random men on the street who ask, ‘Hey, what are you doing?’ even though you’ve only met them once.”

“I feel insulted. You’ve judged me too quickly,” Simon said. “I promise, I’ll change your perspective—after marriage.”

Clap clap clap.

“That’s my son-in-law right there!” said Shanel’s mom proudly.

“You see, Shanel? He fell in love with you at first sight.”

“Oh, please, Mom, stop lying,” Shanel snapped.

“He just wants to get this meeting over with. He doesn’t care about how I feel.”

“I promise you, Shanel, he’ll be the sweetest husband you could ever find,” her mother insisted.

“And Clara is my best friend. She’ll take care of you like a princess.”

“Let’s go, everyone. The first meeting is adjourned,” Simon’s mother said cheerfully.

“Now, let’s talk about the second one — the wedding date. Would January 21st be okay?”

“I have no problem with that,” Simon’s mother nodded.

Simon nodded as well — the nerve of him.

“Hold on, ladies, this is escalating way too fast!” Shanel protested.

They all ignored her.

"Do you have any problem, Simon?"

"No, Ma'am."

"Wouldn’t you love to be the maid of honor, Ayumi?"

"I’d love to! I’ll pick the most gorgeous dress for you."

"Thank you so much, Aunty."

Shanel gave Ayumi a dead glare.

"Wait till this is all over..." she muttered under her breath.

"Why are you saying that? Can’t you see he’s a good person? If he turns out bad after the wedding, you can come live at my house," Ayumi said.

"Fine. If that’s how everyone feels... then I’d like to court him first, get to know him — and then decide. Or I’ll just run away on my wedding day. Would you agree to that?"

"Oh, that would be great! Then all is settled."

"Congratulations, Clara and Simon!"

"Congrats, dear! I’m so happy we’re becoming a family."

"I know, right?" both ladies squealed.

Simon’s mother looked at Ayumi.

“Do you want me to find a suitable husband for you as well, dear? You’re at that age.”

“No, Aunty, thank you very much. I think it’s time for me to go home. My father’s probably drunk somewhere — I have to pick him up.”

Without waiting for a reply, she ran to the door.

“Bye, Shanel,” she said, making a call me gesture as she walked away.

Shanel looked at Simon.

Wait till I bring hell into your life. You think I’m that easy? she cursed silently.

Simon looked back at her, smirking.

The rest of the meeting was all about how Simon should take an advance holiday of three months for the wedding, and Shanel’s wedding dress shopping — at the very shop where the reality show Say Yes to the Dress is filmed.

When everything was over, Simon’s mother seemed over the moon. She couldn’t wait for Shanel and her mother to visit them again.

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