The Old Man in the Forest.

Everyone in the village knew Old Man Rufus.

Not because he was wise.

Not because he was kind.

Mostly because he once tried to fight a goat for insulting him.

The goat won.

After that embarrassing defeat, Rufus decided humanity wasn't worth dealing with. He packed his things, stole his own chickens from his backyard, and moved into the forest.

Twenty years later, he was eighty-two years old and somehow still alive.

No one knew how.

Even Rufus wasn't entirely sure.

One morning, Rufus woke up to the sound of something rummaging through his cabin.

He grabbed his walking stick.

"Listen here, thief! I survived three wars, five tax collectors, and my ex-wife. I am not afraid of death."

The noise stopped.

A raccoon slowly turned around.

The animal stared at him.

Rufus stared back.

The raccoon was holding his loaf of bread.

"Put that down."

The raccoon took a bite.

Rufus gasped.

"Criminal."

The raccoon took another bite.

"Repeat offender."

The raccoon climbed out the window.

Rufus pointed his stick.

"I'll remember your face!"

The raccoon looked exactly like every other raccoon.

This did not stop him.

The rest of the day only became worse.

While collecting mushrooms, Rufus stepped into a hole.

His leg disappeared up to the knee.

He stood there silently.

Then sighed.

"Forest wins again."

After several minutes of struggling, he finally climbed out.

Immediately afterward, he found a wooden sign.

It read:

WARNING: PITFALL TRAP

Rufus stared at it.

The sign was behind the hole.

"Helpful," he muttered.

"Very educational."

As evening approached, Rufus returned to his cabin carrying mushrooms.

Unfortunately, he also carried a beehive.

He didn't know it was attached to his coat.

The bees informed him.

Violently.

The next ten minutes involved screaming, running, and negotiations.

"WAIT!"

Buzz.

"I CAN EXPLAIN!"

Buzz.

"I PAY TAXES!"

The bees showed no mercy.

By sunset, his face resembled a pumpkin that had lost an argument.

Life in the forest was peaceful, people said.

Those people had clearly never met the forest.

The following morning, Rufus discovered a young hunter standing outside his cabin.

The hunter looked nervous.

"Sir, people say you're the wisest man in these woods."

Rufus nearly choked on his tea.

"Who told you that?"

"The villagers."

"Those people also thought eating soap cured headaches."

The hunter hesitated.

"I need advice."

Rufus sighed.

Humans.

They always appeared when things were quiet.

"What is it?"

"I want to know the meaning of life."

Rufus sat silently.

Then pointed toward a squirrel.

The squirrel was trying to steal nuts from another squirrel.

The second squirrel punched the first squirrel.

Both squirrels fell out of a tree.

The hunter blinked.

"What does that mean?"

"It means nobody knows what they're doing."

The hunter looked confused.

Rufus continued.

"You're born, you make mistakes, you pay bills, and eventually a doctor says words that cost more than your house."

"That's depressing."

"It's realistic."

The hunter thought for a moment.

Then nodded.

"You're very wise."

Rufus wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

That night, he sat outside watching the stars.

The forest was quiet.

For once.

Then he noticed movement.

Two glowing eyes stared at him from the darkness.

A wolf.

A large wolf.

Rufus slowly stood up.

The wolf growled.

Rufus growled back.

The wolf looked surprised.

"So," Rufus said, cracking his knuckles. "You want my cabin?"

The wolf took a step backward.

"You'll have to fight me for it."

The wolf stared.

Rufus stared harder.

After a few seconds, the wolf turned around and walked away.

Rufus nodded proudly.

"That's right."

Then he paused.

"Actually, I think he was just passing by."

He sat back down.

The stars glittered above.

The trees swayed gently.

The forest remained mysterious, dangerous, and completely unreasonable.

But Rufus liked it.

After all, in the village people called him crazy.

In the forest, he was the most normal thing there.

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