The Longest Trip Home

Jason had one goal.

Just one.

Get on a plane in the Philippines and fly home to Singapore.

Simple.

Thousands of people did it every year.

Unfortunately, Jason had the unique talent of turning ordinary situations into disasters.

---

The day began at the airport.

Jason arrived three hours early.

"Nothing can go wrong," he said confidently.

This was the first mistake.

Whenever a human says "nothing can go wrong," the universe immediately opens a notebook and starts taking ideas.

---

Jason proudly rolled his suitcase toward the check-in counter.

The airline employee smiled.

"Passport, please."

Jason froze.

His smile vanished.

His soul briefly left his body.

The passport was not in his pocket.

Not in his backpack.

Not in his suitcase.

Not anywhere.

The employee watched him search every compartment twice.

Finally Jason found it.

In his hand.

He had been holding it the entire time.

---

"Sir," said the employee.

"Yes?"

"You can let go of my counter now."

Jason realized he had been gripping it like a man hanging from a cliff.

---

Check-in completed.

Success.

Jason celebrated by buying an overpriced sandwich.

It cost enough money to qualify as a small investment.

He stared at the receipt.

"Did this sandwich attend university?"

The cashier ignored him.

This wasn't the first airport-related breakdown she'd witnessed.

---

Next came security.

Jason emptied his pockets.

Phone.

Wallet.

Keys.

Earphones.

Random receipt from four months ago.

Another receipt.

And somehow a spoon.

The security officer picked it up.

"Why do you have a spoon?"

Jason looked confused.

"I don't know."

The officer looked even more confused.

Neither learned the answer.

The spoon remained one of the world's unsolved mysteries.

---

Finally, Jason reached his gate.

He sat down.

Relaxed.

And immediately heard an announcement.

"Attention passengers..."

Jason looked up.

"...this announcement is not for your flight."

Jason looked back down.

Airport announcements were basically public anxiety generators.

---

An hour later boarding began.

Jason joined the line.

Everything was going smoothly.

Then the airline staff checked his boarding pass.

"Sir."

"Yes?"

"You're at the wrong gate."

Jason blinked.

"What?"

"Your flight is at Gate 23."

Jason looked around.

He was standing at Gate 32.

The numbers were literally reversed.

A mistake so ridiculous it almost deserved respect.

---

Jason sprinted through the terminal.

His backpack bounced.

His suitcase rattled.

A child pointed at him.

"Mom! That man is running!"

The mother looked over.

"No dear. That's called panic."

---

Breathing heavily, Jason finally reached the correct gate.

The staff scanned his ticket.

A green light appeared.

Jason nearly cried.

He had never loved technology more.

---

Inside the plane, he found his seat.

A victory at last.

Then he noticed something.

A toddler sat directly behind him.

The toddler smiled.

Jason smiled back.

The toddler immediately kicked his seat.

The battle had begun.

---

For three hours the toddler treated Jason's seat like a training dummy.

Kick.

Kick.

Kick.

At one point the child somehow dropped a toy onto Jason's head.

Jason wasn't even angry.

He was impressed.

The accuracy was extraordinary.

---

Eventually the captain announced:

"We will soon be arriving in Singapore."

Jason looked out the window.

The lights of Singapore glowed below.

Beautiful.

Orderly.

Home.

He felt relieved.

Until he remembered baggage claim existed.

---

Twenty minutes later, passengers crowded around the carousel.

Everyone watched the luggage rotate endlessly.

A strange ritual practiced worldwide.

Thousands of years of human civilization had led to people standing around a moving belt hoping their belongings appeared.

---

Jason waited.

Suitcase.

Not his.

Suitcase.

Not his.

Golf clubs.

Definitely not his.

Then finally, his suitcase appeared.

He grabbed it triumphantly.

Success.

After a full day of confusion, mistakes, and unnecessary suffering, he had made it home.

As he exited the airport, Jason smiled.

Travel broadened the mind, people said.

What it mostly broadened was his understanding of how many ways a simple journey could go wrong.

Still, he was home.

And that made every disaster worth it.

Well, except for the airport sandwich.

That thing was still criminal.

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