A mark of me

6 Feb 2024

When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.

For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way.

If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone

10 July 2024

She has two faces ...

She has two faces.

One face that she shows the world, loved ones, and in public.

The smiling one.

The happy, friendly, and talkative one.

The confident one full of laughter and positivity.

The face that everyone is used to.

The second face is the real face.

The one she tries not to show anyone.

The face behind closed doors, when she's alone away from the world, in the security of her own emotions that she doesn't want to show anyone else or have to explain them.

It's exhausting trying to look happy and like nothing is bothering you.

The face that stares off at nothing or patterns on the floor or drapes.

The face that cries in the shower, in bed, car rides alone, cries sitting on the couch, or doing things around for the house.

The sad face that stares back at her in the mirror and looks nothing like she used to be.

Well to her anyway. Others say she looks the same. The face that looks strong to the people she knows, but is really just shards of broken glass inside.

Yes, the girl that was there for everyone, and strong for others..is now split into two.

Two faces, one broken spirit.

She can't bear the losses.

It feels like a chapter of a wonderful book closed never to be open again.

All she has are memories and visions in her head that she plays over and over.

Nothing is the same to her.

Everything is different. She can't cope with daily life, her Doctor said. So she writes to help herself, and she has her two faces.

What's funny is, the sad face is the face worth a thousand words underneath in the depths of complexity.

While the happy face full of laughter, love, positiveness, and fun..is a straight shooter."

26 July 2024

“Harder than crying is losing the ability to do it.”

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