silence

10 July 2024

"Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive and go silent. Some people survive and create. Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way, and everyone is entitled to that, without judgement.

So the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, remember… You may not want to endure what they are enduring right now, at this moment, whilst they sit so quietly before you, looking like a calm ocean on a sunny day."

22 November 2023

Sadly

Other Kids leave home having no option… for higher education or home being far from university…

But I want to leave my home and go to hostel because, I need peace,

Imagine… the ultimate source of peace for most of the human population called home

Became a source of my utmost anguish and melancholy.

It's better in a way that my Mom stopped talking to me because of another guy …

At least when I leave, when I finally get a seat in the hostel she won't have any right to stop me …

Some parents are amazing to be honest

They don't feel any sorrow when they don't talk to their kids … they just stop talking…

And the kid feels miserable not the parent

I feel so bad … I can't even explain the heartache I'm feeling right now when writing this …. She just doesn't care anymore… for a son of another woman, another place … she doesn't care about her child anymore…

Amusing… wow …

At least now I don't have any reason to stay

He said , forgive your family for whatever they've ever done to you … holding grudges against your family is not right….

How do I tell him … I forgive them and they do something even worse …

6 February 2024

I disappear sometimes. It's my thing. No one notices, but there are days when I choose to just shut the door of my heart, and focus on trying to get through the rain and the sad thoughts that always find their way to the surface.

There are moments when people may need me and I'm not reachable. When the phone would ring and I'll just stare at the caller ID and wait it to stop because I don't want to talk. I hope they don't mind. I'm never good with opening up to people, or with sharing the weight of my world, and I think that it's fine. We all fight battles we don't tell anyone.

Don't get me wrong, my life has a lot of happy moments. But I disappear sometimes to save myself, and I hope it's not a selfish thing to do. I just want to win my battles, too.

28 November 2024

I cannot make you understand. i cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. i cannot even explain it to myself.

"𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎."

📍 how much it takes time to stay strong all the time?

It's literally killing me inside, making me mentally exhausted & forcing me to be uninterested to everyone.

Detachment and the habit of aborting are drastically increasing. I'm staying nowadays as if I were recluse

I used to think Icould fix anything in my life if I just tried a little harder or gave it more time. But some things aren't meant to be " fixed " sometimes all you can do is make peace with it and move forward, knowing you did the best you could.

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