1st Memoir - Chapter 1 My Childhood Friend

My name is Alessandra, but I go by Alex. I am already 21 and in my final year in college. My mom however much dotes on me, feels I have decades to go before I reach maturity. The level of maturity when one decides to enter a relationship and start to make plans for a future family. I mean to do that, I got to have a boyfriend first, right? But this is where my mom gets to the specifics, she never would want me to reach this “level of maturity” if not for a specific guy she wants to be her son-in-law. And the mother of this guy mirrors the same passion in this belief which is likewise directed to me. I mean why wouldn’t they? They are best friends after all. This guy’s name is Lorenzo, he is a year older, but we are in the same course and grade. He has lagged a year because he decided to change his major.

Our moms would have us marry now, if they would have their way. But the problem was that they have raised us too closely like siblings. I mean Enzo would even nap and shower occasionally at my house. It does not help that I have two older twin brothers very close to our age as well. And so, we hang out a lot. Even until midnight. Time is irrelevant, I mean it is just a 20m walk to the next house. There is even a small gate in between the properties’ picket fencing.

Much to our mothers’ chagrin, we cannot see ourselves in any romantic relationship. This much is true at least on Enzo’s part, I on the other hand is madly in love with him. But since he has long established the fact that he sees me as a sister, I have decided to put on a mask and act the part. However, there are days when I just want this feeling to go away. Nobody ever desires an unrequited love. It pains me a lot to see him with other girls at school and they are completely fawning over him.

I can only take so much of this heartbreak, so I decided I must take a few steps to avoid seeing scenes like that. My only respite is that we are in our final semester and will be graduating in a couple of months and this final stretch is hectic AF. I welcome these tiring times, I see Enzo less and I skip our usual hangouts at home; and I have a valid reason for that so nobody would ever take notice that I am avoiding him, right? Wrong! The person himself took notice and decided to talk to me about that.

How insensitive could he be? I am suffering here but here he is barraging me with a slew of accusations that I was not spending time with him. He goes like, “Hey Alex, are you avoiding me? You literally run away after class. You don’t ever invite me for lunch or study in the library together. You don’t even see me even when I sleep over. Have I done anything wrong? Have I offended you?”

At this point I just let out a deep breath and looked down. I mean he looked hurt and frustrated enough that I suddenly feel guilty. I was now contemplating on continuing the farce and keep spending time with him like the usual, I could try to put up with all the hurt; if only he will not look this sad. I decided to collect myself and muster my strength to keep my composure; otherwise I might burst into tears. Then I managed to say this, “I’m sorry if you felt like that, maybe I was a bit too absorbed with schoolwork. I did not want to lose my focus, so I did not stop to take a break.”

I looked at his face and see his brows furrowed. After I spoke, he looked pissed and said, “Really? You didn’t have time? Then why did you go to Starbucks with Mark?” And then he left.

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