Chapter 1

...TW:Self harm, lgbtq, violence, curse words...

...note:(No complex words):Sorry if my grammar isn't good or if there are any typos, english isn't my first language...

...o(╥﹏╥)o...

*Beep beep beep beep* the sound of my alarm echoed in my room as I slightly opened my eyes to see the sunny weather

I reached out for my phone to turn off my alarm as I slowly got up

"Fuck it's already 1PM?.. Geez" I said as I brushed my hand through my messy hair

"Woman I told you it's not that serious about who I was with yesterday! Goddamit could you just stop?" A sound of breaking glass echoed in the living room I could hear their voices arguing with each other..

Well no shit sherlock do I look like I give a fuck about them arguing after I just woke up

a sound of a door slamming hard finally caught my attention as I slightly opened my bedroom door to peek

"Father where is mom going? yawn..." I asked, dad looked around then at me

Dad sighed "You.. You kid... youre gonna have a step mother if you want to stay with me instead of your broke mother.. I just kick your mom out of the house? dont complain if you want to stay got it?" dad said in a cold tone

I slammed the door in front of him and went back in my room leaning against the door while covering my mouth

A step mom?... I know they argue everyday but I didn't think it will get this far.. well, I have no choice but to accept in anyways.

I sighed then glanced at the photo laying on my drawer beside my door

Rei?... I miss you

Where were you when I needed you?

I barely remember your face now

I want to get out of here...

Flashback from 8 years ago

"Yui... " rei said flatly while looking down

"Yes?" I asked with a warm smile

She glanced at me "Can you live without me?"

she asked her tone cold

"Well..." I hesitated "ofcourse I can I know I might be dependent on you but-" I said as my voice slightly trembled as I nervously rubbed the back of my head with my hand while avoiding eye contact

"Yui.. look at me why are you looking away?" she said with her casual flat tone

I glanced at her "well... I'm not really sure but I guess I can"

my heart skipped as she pulled me in for a tight hug as if she didn't wanna let go of me

I felt warmth

"Yui.. Me and my family are gonna move out of here... Don't forget about me okay? Find someone else to comfort you

I pulled away and the urge to slap her was strong as tears began to fall from my eyes " you said you'll never leave me! I don't have anyone but you.." my voice trembled as I yelled I felt my hands moving on it's own wrapping onto her neck as my hands squeezed her throat

she struggled to breathe then I noticed-

I quickly pulled my hands away from her throat

"N-no sorry... I didn't mean to do that I- I was just too attached that I didn't want you to leave.. I-I was just afraid you'll find someone else but me!"

"Yui.. " she said her tone cold as her expression darkened "I said Im sorry" she slapped me on the face

"I'm sorry" she said again as she walked off

I cried for 2 weeks every night as my parents were arguing

"Youre a man can't you see our daughter has been skipping meals and crying? Do something you shit" my mom yelled

"That bitch is not even my child why should I take responsibilities of that little fucker if I know you went around to sleep with some man" dad yelled back

I could hear their voices even if i was in my room.. the walls were-

too thin...

Rei I really need you right now I can't stop thinking about you... think im gonna-

I said in my mind while sobbing uncontrollably

Months have passed one night came and the bad thoughts in my mind kept getting stronger while my mental problems became worse

I'm sorry rei.. maybe you were right, I can't live without you youre the only one I need. I'm losing my shit already... I wish you could kiss my scars once again.

I said while standing on top of a chair with a rope tied up onto the ceiling infront of me as I slowly put the rope around my neck, closed my eyes and kicked the chair leaving my body hanging as the rope pressed harder onto my skin

I struggled to breathe as I started to lose consciousness, the room smelled like dust and blood

then a nonexisting vision appeared

"Yui"

"Yui"

I heard my name being called out as if we were kids again

"Yui are you there?" That voice..

"R-rei?" my voice trembled as I heard yours, tears started falling from my eyes as my hand reached out to hold your cheek then

shit, snap out of it Yui Aizawa, wake up! wake up!

I opened my eyes and grabbed the rope hard trying to break free

"gah-"

I struggled breaking free while trying to catch my breath

the rope snapped

I fell down onto the floor while desperately gasping for air

I touched my neck

"shit it hurts" I stood up and went to look at the mirror

my neck was red

I caught a glance of my chair then grabbed it

"FUCK!" I threw the chair onto the wall as it broke, then fell down on my knees sobbing uncontrollably again until at the point it was already morning

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