CHAPTER 𝟒

𝐒𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄

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𝙇𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 na namin at nakaupo lamang ako sa loob ng canteen habang tinititigan ang hawak-hawak kong papel. I'm really such a stupid dumb, bagsak na naman ako exam.

"Ano ba 'yan, bagsak na naman, palagi nalang talaga. Makaka graduate pa kaya ako nito?" bulong ko sa aking sarili.

Nagulat ako ng may biglang tumapik sa aking balikat. Paglingon ko ay tumambad sa akin si Kenji, nakangiti ito. Sa likuran niya naman ay si Dylan na nagkakasalubong ang mga kilay.

"Kaii, can we sit here. If you wouldn't mind," he politely asked, his voice deep yet soft, sending shivers down my spine.

"S–sure, ok lang naman sa'kin," i agreed with a subtle smile, trying to act normal.

Naupo naman ito sa tabi ko. Habang si Dylan nama'y puwesto sa harapan namin. Sa harapan pa talaga namin, I totally can't stand seeing his face, palagi nalang nakasimangot.

"Kaii, why are eating here alone? Sa'n ba si Astrid?" kenji asked.

"Absent na naman eh, parang kinareer na nga 'yung pag absent," ani ko which made us both laugh, expect that Dylan, he just gave me that disgusted look.

"I'm just curious, Kaii. Ilan pala score mo kanina sa exam?"

Sa lahat ng pwedeng itanong, 'yan pa talaga? Gusto niya ba talagang malaman kung gaano ako ka bobo? Well, maybe he's just really curious. Sasagot na nga sana ako ng bigla namang nagsalita si Dylan.

"Tinatanong pa ba 'yan? Isn't it obvious na bagsak si Kaii?" pang iinsulto nito. "Don't get me wrong, it's just... He really just doesn't excel academically."

I know it, alam ko naman na hindi ako matalino pero kailangan pa ba talagang ipamukha sa'kin 'yun? Hindi pa ba siya nagsasawang laitin ako.

Napayuko na lamang ako sa kahihiyan at marahang tumayo at aalis na sana. Pero hindi pa man ako nakakapag lakad ng bigla namang tumayo si Kenji at pinigilan ako.

"Kaii, punta ka sa bahay mamaya," he said habang hawak-hawak ang kamay ko. "Around 7, kung wala ka namang gagawin."

"H–Huh? Bakit naman? Anong gagawin ko dun?"

"Tuturuan kita, so that, hindi ka babagsak sa quiz bukas. Ok ba 'yun sa'yo?" he gently smiled, instantly lifted my mood.

Sino ba'ko para tumanggi? I actually really need a tutor. Kaya naman tumango na lang ako sa kanya at tuluyan ng umalis. He's really an ideal man but i know that he likes girls and not gays like me. Mahirap ng umasa.

𝙉𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙜 lamang ako sa discussion ni prof when Dylan suddenly sits besides me. Nandito na naman siya, sigurado gulo na naman hanap ng lalaking 'to.

"Are you going to Kenji's house later?" he calmly asked, looking straight at the whiteboard.

I shift my gaze at him. I saw his face serious yet not that rude or arrogant I used to see everytime.

"I'm asking you, don't you just stare at me like that," he raised his eyebrows.

"A–Ah, it's none of your business, wala ka na dun. Why do you even ask?"

His mood suddenly dropped. He looked at me with that stern expression, no trace of humor in his eyes. I should have just answered properly.

"I'm asking you nicely, Kaii, ayusin mong sumagot," ani nito na pinilit pang ngumiti.

"Oo na, i'm going to his house, narinig mo naman siguro kanina, 'di ba?"

"No, you can't. I won't allow it," he gazed at me, gaving me that sharp intense look.

"Why not? Siya naman 'yung nag aya sa'kin. Sino ba naman ako para tumanggi?"

He sighed and his fist clenched. At para bang anytime, he's ready to punch me without saying a word.

"Sa lahat ng pwedeng landiin, kaibigan ko pa talaga? You're really insane, you're just like other gays," he seriously muttered, I felt pain in his voice yet I feel like he's trying to hide it with his bold attitude.

"Ano bang pakialam mo? This is my life, so please, stop pestering me."

He didn't say anything. He just clicked his tongue and looked away, clearly irritated by my answer. Am I too much? Hindi naman siguro, siya nga palagi niya akong nilalait. He deserves that, there's no reason to feel guilt.

After our class has ended, dumiretso na agad ako sa'king apartment para magbihis. Then, naghintay ako ng masasakyan papunta sa bahay nila Kenji, as he will be my tutor.

𝙉𝙖𝙨𝙖 𝙡𝙖𝙗𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙖 ako ng kanilang bahay at kakatok palang sana ako ng bigla naman itong bumukas. It's Kenji, wearing that short pants with matching plain shirt, revealing his muscular physique.

"Kaii, you're here, pasok ka na," he welcoming said. "Kanina ka pa ba?"

"H–Hindi naman, kakarating ko lang nga," sagot ko naman at pumasok na sa loob.

Ang laki naman ng bahay niya yet siya lang 'yung nakatira. Hindi ba siya nalulungkot dito?

"Kaii, have a seat. May kukunin lang ako, we'll start pagbalik ko."

He went to his room at may kinuha lang. Ilang saglit pa ay bumalik din naman ito. We didn't waste any of our time at nagsimula na agad kami. He taught me everything I needed to know. He made those tricky one as easy as he could.

"How about this one? Paano naman 'to?" I asked, looking at the paper I was holding.

Bigla itong tumayo sa kanyang kinauupuan at pumwesto sa likuran ko. He then wrapped his arms around me. It somehow made me uncomfortable yet comforting.

"This one is easy, gan'to lang 'yan. " he continued teaching me, his breath hitting my neck.

I was enjoying my time with him. This was the first kase na may nagtuturo sa'kin that's why I truly appreciate his efforts.

After a couple of minutes, we have finished the lesson kaya naman naisipan ko ng umuwi. It's already 8pm, I didn't even notice the time has passed that fast.

"Kaii, hatid na kita. Delikado na sa daan."

"No, its okay, kaya ko naman. Dont bother." tanggi ko.

"It's already late, I'll give a ride," he still insisted, giving me that worried look.

I can't let him. Hindi niya pwedeng malaman na magkasama kami ni Dylan. Hinding hindi talaga.

"Ok lang talaga, kaya ko naman. Sige ah, una na'ko." I quickly ran leaving his house.

Ilang saglit pa siguro akong naghintay ng masasakyan sa labas bago ako nakasakay. At hindi rin nagtagal ay nakarating na rin ako sa'king apartment. Mabilis na akong pumasok at napansin kong wala pa dito si Dylan.

"Sa'n naman kaya nagpunta 'yun?" I asked myself. "Nevermind, ba't ko ba hinahanap 'yun."

Since wala pa nga siya ay dali dali muna akong nahiga sa kama. Hindi ko na namalayan mabilis pala akong nakatulog dahil na rin siguro sa pagod.

𝘼𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, naalimpungatan nalang ako ng may maramdaman akong nakayakap sa akin. When I turned to my right, I saw no one but Dylan. Amoy alak ito and he's shirtless while hugging me. He's arms and legs wrapping me.

"Huy, Dylan. Ano ba, tanggalin mo nga 'yung kamay mo," ani ko while trying to escape from his hug.

Pero sa tuwing sinusubukan kong kumawala ay mas lalo lang humihigpit ang yakap nito. I even feel his breath, hitting my neck. His chest so hard. His hug felt like very warm and comfortable.Pero bakit? Bakit siya nakayakap sa'kin? Maybe because he's drunk.

Hinayaan ko na nga lang ito, I just let him hug me. My mind doesn't want this but my heart and body wanting more. Am I slowly falling for my enemy?

𝙏𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚...

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