ptaa nhi

"Hmm Bhool gye hrr baat mgr teraa pyaar nhi bhoole.

Kya kya hua dil k saath mgr teraa pyaar nhi bhoole."

Kaafi koshish krne baad shyd kyuki mujhe ptaa nhi merii koshishe kaafi thi bhi ya nhi, mai iss anjaam pr pohchii ho ke mai chah kr bhi theek nhi ho sktii.

Maine mokhtalif andaazo mai khud ko pesh kwr ke dekhaa aur ye thkaan dehi bhi tha mere liye bht pr

Shyd meraa kuch nhi ho sktaa.

Ese likhte hue mai jzbaati ho rahi ho thora sa.

Pr shyd abb mujhe khud ko theek krne ki koshishe bnd krnii hogi kyuki isse zyadaa zabardasti mai khud pr nhi kr paaogi.

Mujhe khud ko takleef pohchaana bht psnd hai.

Pr aakhir mai mujhme hi meraa ghr hai aur isiliye,

iss dard k saath mujhe puraa jeewan jeena hoga joh iss marz ki den hai.

Mai likhnaa chahti ko kmazkm ek dfaa aur btaana chahti ho ki mai kis bimaari se guzar rhi ho.

Pr na hi mujh mai himmat hai aur na hi shbd ki mai isse bayaan kwrdo,

iske asraat , isse mujhe hua nuksaan shyd mai likh saktii hu.

Mai jaanti hu na koi padhega na hi koi mujhse pochegaa,

Aur agr kisi ne gltii se pochaa bhi

Toh mai usske saamne se yu gayb ho jaaogi ke jaise kabhi maujood thi hi nhi.

Mera vojood mere liye pareshaani hai aur shyd ye khyaal aksar logo k dimaag mai aata hoga.

Ghaalib ka kahaa yaad hai? woh kehte hai

"Aashique ho pa-mashooq farebii hai mera kaam

Majnoon ko buraa kehtii hai Laila mere aage!

Mai ese yu dekhti hu ke

mai hi Laila aur mai hi majnoon ho yaane

Mai khudki hi woh farebii aashique ho joh mashooq yaane khudse,

Mohbbat aur nafarat ke darmiyaan fsii hui hai aur ye bht thkaan detaa hai.

Aur shyd ye hi wajah hai k mai khud ko mohbbat se khaali maanti yu, maanti ho ke ye daulat mere liye nhi.

Aur jbb mai yu thak jaati hu toh zamaane ko dekhti hu aur ye mujhe aur bechain kr detaa hai.

Yu krdeta hai ki raate jaise abhi ye raat, merii nind se khaali hojaati hai.

Bechaini shyd esii liye hai kyuki Mai kisi chiz ki talaash mai hu aur bhatak rahi hu.

Aur woh chiz kya hai woh mujhe tab tak ptaa nhi chlega jbb tk mujhe woh mil nhi jaati.

Mai aapko btaa do mai jaan kwr purasraari paida nhi krnaa chah rahi hu.

Blke meri haalt hi kuch esii hai esiliye shyd mujhe iss chiz ka bhi ilm nhi ki mai kya likh rahi ho.

"Aksr khyaalo ke parinde aasman mai udaan nhi bhrte.

Kyuki yaaha rooh ki nhi jism ki kimat hai.

Aur isliye agr ek insaan apne andr smandr liye hi kyu na betha hu kisi ko kyaa?

Aur kisi ko kuch honaa hi nhi chahiye.

Kyu ki yahaa hai hi kon?"

Ye khyaal ke yaaha hai hi kon?

Mere vojood ke saath prchaai bn kr aaya hai.

Haqeeqat ye hai ki mai maan hi nhi paa rahi hu ke mere alaawa bhi koi hai yaane ke mujhe ek pl mai ye saari duniya vhm lgtii hai.

Aur mai pehla shaqs nhi ho jisse ye khyaal staata hai. Pr fir wahi mere alaawa dusri shaksiyat hai hi kon?

Haa kisi k mrr jaane k khyaal se ronaa ye bhi mai hi hu.

pr fir kisi ko bhi apne alawaa zinda na maan paana ye bhi mai hi hu.

Mai esii kyu hu mai nhi jaanti. Kya sbb ese hai? Mai nhi jaanti. Kya yaha koi hai bhi ya nhi mai nhi jaanti?

Ye sbb merii is bimaari ke asraat hai.

Aur kahi na kahi mai theek hona chahti ho

pr mai ye bhi maanti hu ke lailaaj hai.

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