Chapter 4~ Thinking of these moments

Chapter 4\~ Thinking of these moments

All the teens were busy with passing the exam especial the seniors being their last chance to prove themselves. The juniors had different lunch break where as the seniors and that was making Hwan feel frustrated. After that peck he had not seen Dawn anywhere not even at the cafe after school. As per Jay he had extra exam to complete as he will be skipping college and going to university straight after high school.

Thinking of the future without Dawn caused him to feel stressed and he doesn’t want to think of that when he himself doesn’t know how he feels for the tall boy. Is this love or just infatuation.

\~\~\~\~

Dawn woke up the Saturday after the peck he gave to the small teen and smiled. His princess was cuddled close to him with her plushie covering her face. He took his phone and took a picture of this cuteness. His princess stirred awake a couple of minutes after he took the picture and smiled widely when he saw his brother staring down at her lovingly. Both of them went to the bathroom doing their business and went to the kitchen seeing their mother with puffy eyes and nursing a bruise on the left side of her face. Noticed the distressed look ok on her face Dawn took Destiny to the living area mentioning they will have breakfast outside today because she’s been a super good girl. He left her fixing her shoes on her own and went back to the kitchen where his mother was a sorbing mess. He was never one for empathy but when it comes to his mother it made him mad and wanted to vent out but couldn’t as that would scare her more

“How long” two words and she understood right away what it meant

“Not.......long” she tried not to sorb harder thinking of her daughter

“Why?” Dawnface was devoid of emotion but she knew inside he was fuming but keeping it in. She has seen his rage once only and it scared her.

“Just a ....a misunderstanding” she exclaimed

“He’s cheating!!” It was a question more like statement and she nodded know his son is no fool

“Divorce!!” She shook her head fast “After you become chairman” he kept thinking until he understood why his Dad brought it up. His mother was the one who suggested

He now have a reason to make it and succeed the position. But he felt his mother had more to say that she let on. She couldn’t look into his eyes which was something new. He understood that she was not prepared for him to see this vulnerable side of her but not looking in his eyes proved that something was up and he knew this would change everything for his family.

He informed her that he would take Destiny for breakfast out and would come back later in the afternoon. She felt relieved to have an understanding son as Dawn and could not ask for any better person.

\~\~\~

Dawn found himself being so busy that weeks went by. He had to switch between classes from school and university prep after the month end he felt like he was super drained and got a cold due to the stress. Things at home was not getting better and he knew but his sibling was all clueless. He made sure that Destiny will be protected the most as he will not want her pure soul to be tainted. She sleeps most time in his room that hers and since he got the cold she was back in her room until his better. He was appreciative of her little drawings that most of the time he did not understand.

His mother was trying her best to pretend to be happy but the sadness was apparent in her eyes. Now more than ever. Her husband became violent due to the fact that the past is hunting him each time he stare at his middle child. How could he have let his wife give birth to him was beyond him now that he looked back he should have had her terminated the pregnancy but instead due to his greed he had her kept the child and now it haunts him every day for the past 10 years. The fact that containing his anger through work was no longer working he retorted to laying his hand on his wife. She bares it for both herself and her son

Since her since pass the university test she will tell him the truth in order to have her husband out of her life soon. Her so. Was her priced possession and she will not loose him to her husband.

Dawn recovered within three days and was already ready to head back to school but his mother wanted him to complete the week and start after.

Thursday afternoon was quite in the family house. Dawn was reading on the living room couch and was starting to fall asleep when he felt a tap on his arm. His mother was puffy eyed again with a black eye this time. He was pulled to the back of the house and looking at the woman who gave birth to you being vulnerable makes you want to hurt whomever dared hurt her. She was trembling as if someone is out for her. He was about to ask but she motioned for his patience.

“I’m sorry” she started with these two words. The confuse look on his face made her cry more that when she stared at his sleeping firm in the couch. “Know that I love you regardless” now she was not making sense

“You’re not...” tears was not stopping at this point and she knew she had to do it before he came back otherwise she won’t have a chance as this one

“You wanted to know since little why you were different....” she paused “your Dad is not your real Dad” the world or whatever space Dawn was in stopped somehow.. He was surprised, angry, confused, and overall sad. He felt like he lost all identity. He could cry even if he felt that he should but nothing... he felt nothing because he felt like he has been stripped of his identity.

“Me and your Dad fought when Your brothers where younger and we broke up sort of...” he didn’t want to listen but he wants to know at least who his father is “out of spite for him I went out and got drunk and met your father, he was so like you in all the sense. Quiet type, mysterious and handsome tall as you are now same eyes and overal features.... He did not know I was married and I did not want him to know. So we met each other a couple of time for a moth or so but then he disappeared.. I tried every way to contact him but I couldn’t reach him. You current Dad came to me and we made up after numerous times of him coaxing me I gave up and accepted him. The I found puns out that I had a little bean in me. Your current dad wanted me to keep you in order to show your fathers family that he can hurt you whenever if they try anything against him. I could bare it so I try my best to get rid of you to protect you but you were stubborn and stayed... I felt like I was a bad mother when I held you in my arms and thought back on how I was ready to get rid of you but was happy when I held you in my arms...” Dawn felt his world being turned upside down. He wanted to run but where to as he had no identity now right? Where would he go? He was going crazy and wanted to hurt someone. This woman wanted to get rid of him but settled with him when she failed numerous times

“I’m so sorry baby, I know I’m a bad mother but I couldn’t see you suffer if you were to be born. But you proved me wrong you were a little fighter even before you came into this world and I’m grateful. I tried to redeem myself each day regardless of the consequences. I hid you from your current Dad until you turned one and introduced ou to the family without his consent so he couldn’t hurt you. But after he vented his frustration he started loving you more and you’ve seen and felt that. But as you grew people started noticing the difference you became more like your real Dad and your grandfather on your fathers side was happy to know that your father was able to provide an heir and gave you everything. The money, the business your father is going to pass down to you was already yours even before you were born.. I found out after that your real father died in a car accident coming him from a business trip to see me after he found out that I was going to have you... He was happy and was ready to give you everything... So at 18 you get everything and your Dad is afraid that you might punish us once you mentioned that you will take Destiny and have final say in everything... I don’t want you to feel that whatever is happening is your fault because it’s not.. Us adults should be held responsible for it and I told you because you deserve to know and not to burden you”

\~\~

Finally the tears and pain I wanted to let go can washing and poured out of me. I felt like all the side remarks my sibling would spew was because they were feeling threatened and scared.

“I’m sorry baby... I’m so sorry but know that I love you regardless... and you are still my son and will always be” I kept sorbing

I felt a little hand tightening around my leg and knew Destiny was confused and would cry if I didn’t stop, but I couldn’t. I’ve never cried even after Dane pushed me from the stares that cause me to split the left side of my lip.

I turned from mums embrace to pick up Destiny, her little lips quivering even if she does understand what is happening. I took her inside my room and laid down playing with her hair and humming he favorite Disney song until we both fell asleep. Mum constantly check on us during the night left milk for us to drink. My little sister was the only one I wanted to not taint in this family. All of us has been through so much and I do not blame my siblings for hating me or disapprove of me as I was not supposed to be here but by me being persistent I was born .

The next step was how to react to my other family members, should I treat them the same or ignore them altogether. How do I classify their importance to my life. Being someone mentally strong I sure feel as if nothing is in my control.

I don’t want to take a rash decision. I will wait until I’m 18 go to university and focus on succeeding and then how to deal with family issues.

Yes that’s the least I could do now

\~\~\~\~\~

Dawn was a totally different person when he came back from his university class, to everyone he was the same quiet person but to his friends he has changed.

They knew that something must have happened. All of thought it was because of Hwan but it was not the case as Hwan as well was being affected by this change. It was like he has become more closed off.

In the next week the seniors would have to go to training camp and the four friends were totally unprepared. Parker was complaining almost every day as he would need to give up all he loves for six full weeks. Same as Sun his girlfriend would miss him and same for him as well. He didn’t want to leave her knowing that she might find other people to shag when he is away and six weeks was a long time.

To Jay he had to leave Paris behind for six weeks. He was scared of what trouble that boy might get himself into whilst he will be away. Until now no one knew of his relationship with the older boy and he wants to keep it that way until they come back from training camp.

Dawn was worried for his little sister and putting Hwan in mind as well. Now that he really thinks about it the younger boy does not have anything to do with his family issue and he should have not pushed him away like that. It was lunch time and Dawn made his way to the junior’s side building. The junior was mesmerized as well as confused to why a senior was on this side of the building. He knew Hwan would still be in class as the Schedule changed recently. He came to a stop when he was in front of the young boy’s class. Another 15 minutes and lunch bell will ring. He took out his phone to pass time.

Finally students came rushing out of the class for their lunch. Gun was the first to see Dawn standing there in his handsome glory looking like a model. Ben went straight towards him ready to scold but Gun diverted his path towards the stairs. Dawn saw Hwan looking dejected like a puppy. His head down and walking towards the stairs as well. Dawn smiled and hugged the young boy from the back and whispered a sorry. He turned the young boy to find tears falling from his sad eyes. He wasn’t angry just disappointed that he did this to his little flower.

Hwan was now crying loudly as if dawn hurt him physically. Dawn kept comforting the young boy. They stayed like that for almost half an hour with Dawn moving side to side with Hwan’s occasional hiccups due to him crying too much. This was the first time someone cried this much because of him and he never wanted Hwan to be like this again. “Let’s go home okay” Finally he got to hear Dawn’s voice and this caused Hwan to cry even more. This time from happiness.

They arrived at Hwan’s house at around 1.30pm. The house was silent and Hwan was thankful for that. This was Dawn’s first time being in someone else house that was not his family member. Not even his other friends ever invited each other over as they would always meet outside and each go their separate ways. His been to Jay’s house but never went inside. This house was cute. Very feminine he thought and weirdly that made him love it in some type of way. Hwan grabbed his hand dragging him to his room. Opening the door Hwan pushed the tall boy towards his bed which was facing their yard. Dawn sat on the small bed taking in the room. It fit Hwan perfectly. Everything was cute and felt small compared to his room. Next time he would bring the small boy to his house, he thought. While being lost in his head. Hwan climb in his lap wrapping his legs around his waist and arms around his neck with his nose in the crook of his neck. He started sorbing again got the nth time.

“You’ve not done crying Hwan?” Dawn teased but felt concerned still. Hwan just shook his head feeling drowsy from all the crying.

After a while light snores came from the young boy. Dawn moved higher on the bed getting in a comfortable potion with Hwan on top of him. He too fell asleep shortly after just listen to the light snores.

......

Dawn was awoken by light giggles and flashing sounds. He remained as still as possible not to alert the intruders that he was awake now. After a while he heard them exit the room with a soft click sounding from the door closing. Hwan was still sleeping peaceful so he remained in the same position for a while longer. Until he lightly shook Hwan for him to wake up. Hwan let out a small groan and a soft moan that surprised Dawn.

Slowly Hwan came to his senses and sat up looking around a bit then down at a disheveled Dawn. “You look sexy” he said without realizing that his choice of word was wrongly chosen for these type of situation. Dawn felt his heart beat faster and his member come to life. With Hwan seated with a cute puffy look, hair all over, his shirt was unbutton and his upper chest was visible, lips swollen and a faded red tint. That was enough to let Dawn’s imagination run wild. Hwan being Hwan was totally clueless as to how he was affecting the older boy. He tried removing his leg to have them flat on the bed like a nines to the chest stance but sitting on Dawn’s lap still, but his movements were causing his bum to brush against Dawn’s member as if provoking the older boy. All of a sudden all movement was stopped with Dawn’s hands holding on Hwan’s waist tightly. Hwan’s eyes was big when he realized the thing that was against his bum was not a phone but Dawn’s man part. “Why is it big?” Again not realizing he said that out loud. Dawn wanted to face palm his own face at this moment. This boy was really something else.

“Don’t move anymore okay” he reasoned with Hwan in a serious manner but knowing Hwan he did a little wiggle laughing out loud when Dawn’s face paled after a moan escaped his mouth. “You’re very naughty” Dawn stated switching their position with him being on top of Hwan. Hwan was laughing again and that made him happy but he knew that after he inform him that he is suppose to go to training camp the little flower will start crying again. Hwan felt the air change to a moment and saw a pained expression on Dawn’s face. “What is it? Tell me” one thing Dawn will not do is lie to Hwan. “I’ll be going to training camp next week” he stated “How long?” Hwan inquired. “Six weeks....” they remained quiet for a while until Dawn continued “I won’t be able to contact you for that six weeks. I want you to be a good little flower okayand no crying anymore” Hwan nodded feeling sad already. He just got him back and he has to leave again but he understood.

All of a sudden Hwan’s stomach growls notifying him that he hasn’t eaten today. He chuckled and dragged dawn off the bed towards the bathroom to freshen up and right down the hallway to the kitchen. “Oh hello boys, slept well I supposed!” She stayed with a knowing look. “Good evening Hwan’s Mum” Dawn said taking a sit next to Hwan who was already munching on some sausages his mom grilled in the pan. His mother understood perfectly now how the tall boy was able to make his son become bearable. The boy was so handsome and quiet. He had a gentle feel to him. Her son got lucky and she was happy as well.

Hwan was being super clingy, he knew it and didn’t care. He wanted him all to himself. But he knew this won’t happen as they don’t even know what they are. Well on his part he didn’t know what they were. He hasn’t reached the like him in an intimate way and his far from loving Dawn. Can he say that he appreciates his presence.

Dawn bid his goodbye to Hwan and family making his way to his place. His sister was in his room playing with her dolls while the tv played her favorite animation. She kissed her head surprising her. She smiled getting back to her dolls and animation. All of a sudden Dana came barging in his room with a panick look on her face tears falling from her eyes. “DAWN, IT’S MOM” she shouted startling Destiny in the process. Now she too was on the verge of crying but Dawn assured her everything is okay and to continue with her animation. He took her sister out outside when she finally broke down. “Mom,

...Mom....is....dead” she tried to say in between sorbs. Dawn felt his world crashing down a second time this year. He couldn’t cry, he didn’t want to cry because he didn’t believe it. His sister was on the floor in the living area crying her eyes out sorbing loudly. Next came Davon and Dane with puffy red eyes both a complete mess. Dawn was still in shock not moving not saying a word.

Could this get any worse, he thought.

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