The Enemy At My Pillow
1
清晨的皇宫金光闪闪，百官刚站稳，太监便尖声宣布：
The golden morning light filled the palace as officials stood in place, and the eunuch shrieked the announcement.
Qīngchén de huánggōng jīnguāng shǎnshǎn, bǎiguān gāng zhàn wěn, tàijiān biàn jiānshēng xuānbù.
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2
“梁家小姐梁玫，与韩家少将韩震，奉旨成婚！”
“Miss Liang Mei of the Liang family and General Han Zhen of the Han family shall marry by imperial decree!”
Liángjiā xiǎojiě Liáng Méi, yǔ Hánjiā shàojiàng Hán Zhèn, fèng zhǐ chénghūn!
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3
梁玫整个人僵住，嘴巴张得能塞下一只热腾腾的包子。
Liang Mei froze, her mouth wide enough to fit a steaming bun.
Liáng Méi zhěnggèrén jiāng zhù, zuǐba zhāng de néng sāi xià yì zhī rè téngténg de bāozi.
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4
韩震眉头一皱，像是被迫吞了三斤苦药。
Han Zhen frowned deeply, as if forced to swallow three pounds of bitter medicine.
Hán Zhèn méitóu yí zhòu, xiàng shì bèipò tūn le sān jīn kǔ yào.
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5
梁玫怒吼：“我宁愿嫁给一头猪，也不要嫁给他！”
Liang Mei roared, “I’d rather marry a pig than marry him!”
Liáng Méi nùhǒu: “Wǒ níngyuàn jià gěi yì tóu zhū, yě bú yào jià gěi tā!”
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6
韩震冷冷回击：“本将军也不稀罕。”
Han Zhen replied coldly, “This general doesn’t care for you either.”
Hán Zhèn lěnglěng huíjī: “Běn jiāngjūn yě bù xīhàn.”
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7
皇帝轻咳一声：“你们要是再吵，我就让你们明天成亲。”
The Emperor coughed lightly. “If you argue again, I’ll have you married tomorrow.”
Huángdì qīngké yì shēng: “Nǐmen yàoshi zài chǎo, wǒ jiù ràng nǐmen míngtiān chéngqīn.”
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8
两人瞬间安静如鸡。
Both instantly fell silent like frightened chickens.
Liǎng rén shùnjiān ānjìng rú jī.
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9
梁玫被家人“押送”到韩府时，脸色比出征的将士还壮烈。
When Liang Mei was “escorted” to the Han residence, she looked more tragic than soldiers marching to war.
Liáng Méi bèi jiārén “yā sòng” dào Hánfǔ shí, liǎnsè bǐ chūzhēng de jiàngshì hái zhuàngliè.
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10
她刚踏进门，三只猫立刻冲出来，对着韩震嘶嘶叫。
As soon as she stepped in, her three cats rushed out and hissed at Han Zhen.
Tā gāng tà jìn mén, sān zhī māo lìkè chōng chūlái, duìzhe Hán Zhèn sīsī jiào.
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11
韩震脸色瞬间发白，脚步后退半寸。
Han Zhen’s face turned pale as he stepped back half an inch.
Hán Zhèn liǎnsè shùnjiān fā bái, jiǎobù hòutuì bàn cùn.
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12
梁玫幸灾乐祸地问：“哟，将军怕猫啊？”
Liang Mei asked gleefully, “Oh? The mighty general is afraid of cats?”
Liáng Méi xìngzāilèhuò de wèn: “Yō, jiāngjūn pà māo a?”
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13
韩震强装镇定：“本将军不怕，只是……对猫毛过敏。”
Han Zhen forced calmness. “This general isn’t afraid… just allergic to cat fur.”
Hán Zhèn qiángzhuāng zhèndìng: “Běn jiāngjūn bù pà, zhǐshì… duì māomáo guòmǐn.”
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14
三只猫齐声“喵——”。
The three cats meowed in unison.
Sān zhī māo qíshēng “Miāo—”.
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15
韩震立刻后退三步：“……退后！”
Han Zhen immediately backed up three steps. “...Stay back!”
Hán Zhèn lìkè hòutuì sān bù: “…Tuì hòu!”
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16
梁玫笑得差点岔气。
Liang Mei laughed so hard she nearly lost her breath.
Liáng Méi xiào de chàdiǎn chà qì.
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17
为了避免“婚前暴力事件”，两人被迫坐在书房里写“夫妻相处规则”。
To avoid a “pre‑marriage violence incident,” they were forced to sit in the study and write “marriage rules.”
Wèile bìmiǎn “hūnqián bàolì shìjiàn”, liǎng rén bèipò zuò zài shūfáng lǐ xiě “fūqī xiāngchǔ guīzé”.
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18
梁玫写：不准动我的东西。
Liang Mei wrote: Do not touch my things.
Liáng Méi xiě: Bù zhǔn dòng wǒ de dōngxī.
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19
韩震写：不准把猫带进卧房。
Han Zhen wrote: Do not bring cats into the bedroom.
Hán Zhèn xiě: Bù zhǔn bǎ māo dài jìn wòfáng.
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20
梁玫写：不准用冷脸对我。
Liang Mei wrote: Do not give me a cold face.
Liáng Méi xiě: Bù zhǔn yòng lěng liǎn duì wǒ.
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21
韩震写：不准大声吵闹。
Han Zhen wrote: No loud arguing.
Hán Zhèn xiě: Bù zhǔn dàshēng chǎonào.
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22
两人对视三秒，然后同时把纸揉成一团。
They stared at each other for three seconds, then crumpled the paper at the same time.
Liǎng rén duìshì sān miǎo, ránhòu tóngshí bǎ zhǐ róu chéng yì tuán.
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23
“算了，根本不可能！”
“Forget it, this is impossible!”
Suàn le, gēnběn bù kěnéng!
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